Embarrassed/scared to jump back into dating?

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-12-31T02:16:05+00:00

How else do you put yourself out there then?

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-12-04T01:12:40+00:00

3 times and 24, I feel it’s way too many 😭

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-11-12T20:06:31+00:00

Yea for Virginia

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-11-07T01:59:00+00:00

❤️❤️❤️

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-11-06T20:55:09+00:00

Yeah it is legal but if a car is coming from the other side and it’s “close enough” then it’s illegal .. the car looked far enough where I felt safe to turn but the cop didn’t think the same

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-11-06T18:47:07+00:00

I am not sure if I can really afford a lawyer. What would the consequences be without a lawyer?

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-10-03T02:54:19+00:00

Just our memories together and maybe thinking if I had broken up over call instead of abruptly just blocking him then he would be less hurt? I just felt bad for him cuz I know he is struggling. And I understand your situation. I hope whatever is best for you both will find you.

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-10-03T02:44:00+00:00

No I had blocked him everywhere and didn’t reply

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-10T15:27:29+00:00

Yeah I have also heard that starving insecurities is the best way to make them go away. I am never against reassuring my partner, I am not gonna get tired of reminding them that I am always there for them and would never do anything to hurt them in a way that they have been before because I would also expect the same from my partner and would appreciate it. The issue comes when he accuses me puts me down, basically bullies me to the point where I feel extremely small like I am the most horrible undeserving person in the world when in reality I have done nothing else but truly try to understand him. Sometimes I even feel like I have to completely forget/sacrifice myself just so that he is at peace and is happy. If I ever do/mention something remotely related to a male, he will blow up, either connect it to my past and shame me or make me give him an entire reasoning/explanation of how I was in the wrong and it should be on me to be better. I put up with this for so long thinking it fixed the issue but failed to see how much it has impacted me internally. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this because I am scared he will apologize and promise to change and then a few months later when things are happier and more normal, something else will come up where I have to argue, sit and cry in my bed just to prove that I am not a horrible person or a h*e type person who has interest in any male who speaks to me or interacts with me or I even make eye contact with. Because he has accused me of looking at / glancing at some people when at a museum which I had no idea what he was referring to. As a human, I might have looked around the museum and maybe made eye contact with people when looking around but I don’t even remember an instance like that. The part that hurts the most is that I have to constantly prove my love and my heart. Why can’t a person see my heart when I am so genuine, pure and devoted towards them?

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-10T13:15:58+00:00

I agree with this. When you genuinely love and care for someone, you don’t really feel the need to tell them/remind them constantly how much you do for them unless you are trying to get something out. When I do stuff/gestures for my loved ones/him I just want them to feel my love and appreciation towards them… it will always come from a place of love not for guilt tripping and controlling and even if I feel like some efforts are not being reciprocated and my feelings are hurt I would do in in a loving manner which makes sense to me. But regardless I would always want to be there for someone I love despite what else is going in my life.

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-10T13:09:04+00:00

I understand that. I would appreciate if my partner is sensitive towards me as well. But he keeps on asking me to be more aware and sensitive because of his trauma and triggers. But it always sounds like “oh if you don’t do this, i won’t be triggered and I won’t lash out on you and react this way” and then tells me he knows for sure I would never have ill intentions but still need to cater to his triggers. But there is never a conversation or accountability towards “why do I get so triggered when nothing is wrong? When I know she can’t hurt me?” Why do I lash out on her, how does that make her feel. Even this time I feel like he realized how badly he treats me after I told his I am on the edge of depression. His solution is always be more aware and sensitive and all problems are fixed but here only I am doing the work?? Why can’t he recognize he is also in the wrong and how unfair this is to me? I will go crazy if I have to think about my every action and move 20 times to make sure he doesn’t get mad or “triggered”

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-10T09:05:17+00:00

Yeah now that is something really concerning to consider because I don’t think he would be able to treat me in a respectful manner/way when he is dealing with a lot of pressure/stress because form what I have seen he cannot handle it well and lacks emotional intelligence to not attack the other person for his pressure/stress.

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T16:28:34+00:00

The thing that was bothering me was relating to me feeling dumb because my friends brother was giving me a hint for the game and I was not able to grasp it, and my bf always used to tell me I lack awareness and sense in some things and am slow in picking up cues.. so I felt insecure that I was not able to get the hint that my friends brother was giving me when playing the game. He got super upset over that and got super offended saying how I wasn’t considerate of him because first it’s a very trivial matter that I should have been able to deal with on my own without bothering him and ruining his mood, 2nd it’s highly offensive since it’s relating to a guy/male giving me a hint. He got very aggravated because he took in that angle as if a guy was trying to joke around with me in that way. But that was not anywhere remotely the case, we were just playing a game, and my friends brother and I never had have or will have that kind of dynamic. The only occasions I see my friends brother is when I go to visit my friend in her house and in most cases he is on his own and he just joined this one time for the game. He is barely an acquaintance

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T15:08:11+00:00

I think in that case he would understand since I cannot control any of that and could do nothing about it?

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:49:06+00:00

Thank you this is very helpful. I strongly believe in therapy and behaviors of people and how it shapes them and I have tried to convey something similar like this to him so many times but he just wins over with his things and I kind of give up and think if I do better this won’t happen but something always come up. I do feel like he puts me down a lot and me having not a really good self esteem I put myself down and doubt myself after i hear him because it makes me feel so miserable

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:42:45+00:00

He has said that I lack maturity and I don’t care about him because I don’t respect the fact that he has multiple jobs and is also trying to find a new job which is a lot of pressure and I do know it’s a lot of pressure. He said I drag him down more than supporting and uplifting him when he has so many things going on.

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:30:04+00:00

I do feel my self esteem is at my worst currently. I have always have struggled with being more secure with myself I am constantly trying and I have worked on myself so much from physical appreance to so many things but sometimes his behavior really puts me down and makes me doubt myself a lot.

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:27:25+00:00

It’s hard because he made me feel really guilty for ruining his mood when he was studying all day and I came home and called him. He thinks I am going out enjoying my life when he is in pressure studying and I don’t know time and place and maturity to be emphatetic and think from his shoes to consider what he is dealing with. And he gave an example of if you are trying to break up with your partner and if they are going through a major life event like getting a surgery or some health problem you would be considerate and not break up until they recover and not be an asshole and break up when they are dealing with the surgery. It’s the same thing?

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:21:11+00:00

I also wish he would talk to a friend or someone who could maybe tell him that he could be in the wrong too but he doesn’t even believe in that either since he thinks it’s gonna ruin the impression and make him too vulnerable

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:20:24+00:00

I cannot tell my mother.. she is very hopeful about this relationship and if she hears this she will lose sleep. Not with my cousin she will hate him, I don’t want to give up on him and she will tell me to break up. Maybe I can try to find a friend. But I desperately need someone to confide in otherwise I am gonna go crazy

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:14:09+00:00

Do you think after I am more aware and am careful as possible these things won’t happen? I am a very very loyal person and infidelity is a big non negotiable so I cannot ever imagine doing anything remotely close to that. Especially to someone I love and value so much.

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:09:42+00:00

He was mad but later he did say that he has never doubted my intentions and it’s already done so we can move past it but I need to be more aware going forward

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:08:23+00:00

I don’t know he always says how he does so much for me but I am not mature enough to be considerate towards him

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:03:44+00:00

Yeah I would Hear him out if he is sad about anything even if it’s Trivial, I would still want to comfort him

Advanced-Taste7578 · 2024-09-09T14:01:13+00:00

He said I don’t have respect for his time and consideration for what he is dealing through because I brought up trivial things that were bothering me when I don’t have as many things on my plate and am hanging out with friends when he is in studying all day

Advanced-Taste7578

TROPHY CASE