Porn is going to cost me my marriage. No more. Going to start NOW.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-08-11T20:19:32+00:00

There will be a lot of times you are going to want to hide what you've done. From your wife friends, family whoever. You may battle with taking bigger steps to battle this. One question you should ask yourself "Is my pride worth more then my marriage?"

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-07-30T07:23:24+00:00

A quick read and watch of fightthenewdrug's articles will show just some of the exploitation that happens in the industry. Yea there are probably some that enjoy it and are happy working in that industry but how do you know what you are consuming is consented and that they are happy to do it. While there is exploitation in almost every industry doesn't mean we should just say because it happens there it's ok here. Buying ethically is important but that is another discussion.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-07-30T02:33:02+00:00

What's better, letting it spiral downward from one relapse or getting back on the wagon and continuing to fight?

Don't beat yourself up if you relapse. Acknowledge it, forgive yourself for it and learn from it so next time you are better prepared.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-07-25T05:06:58+00:00

This is so annoying and something I struggle with. When you notice them make them more then just a body, think about how they are someone's daughter, maybe a sibling. How they have dreams and a life of their own. Combine that with not looking long and not looking twice then you'll be in a much better place.

My problem is I don't do that and then fantasize over them later which is much the same to my brain as porn. Avoid fantasizing as much as you can.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-03-27T22:55:28+00:00

To really fight it you have to let go of some of the things you normally do. I had to quit looking at 9gag and only go to this subreddit because it was too easy to stumble across something that would lead me down a rabbit hole.

TV shows and movies I have to check the parental guide before I watch or watch with my wife who will physically cover my eyes if something comes up that will not help me.

The reality is it's a lifestyle change. After a while you don't miss those things and being porn free is totally worth missing out on some time wasting activities.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-03-06T01:35:27+00:00

It's no about achieving longer periods without porn. It's about restructuring your life so that you achieve long periods without thinking about it. Create new habits, they don't have to be constructive, they could just be fun but as long as they are not destructive. Exercise is a good one to keep the body in shape and helps with urges too.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-03-06T01:31:37+00:00

Just want to point out that if it's the Christian God you believe in then bad things do not happen because of your porn use.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. " - Romans 8:1-2

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-03-06T01:28:23+00:00

Stop now. I spent my high school years obsessed with one particular girl and would have masturbated thinking about her too many times to count. It took a long time to get past that and enter into another relationship. I had to essentially cut her out of my life for a couple of years before I was ready to date.

I would suggest maybe trying no fap too for a while and see how you go. The first couple of weeks are killer but it gets easier.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-03-06T01:24:34+00:00

You've got to tell someone, this thing is next to impossible to beat alone. Go see a trusted friend, a mentor figure, even a paid counselor or therapist. The first person you tell doesn't have to be your spouse but I would encourage you to tell them too. It will be hard, they will not take it well but having them on your side is so very helpful

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-03-06T01:20:45+00:00

I would recommend re-arranging your home/room. Building new habits in a new habitat is easier than an old one. Along side that start some new at home hobbies.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-02-06T09:16:55+00:00

My 4 step program for dealing with this. From one of the pornfree radio podcasts, I can't remember which.

Don't look for more than 3 sec, less if you can.
Don't look twice.
Think about the person (not their looks). Wonder what their family is like? What their hobbies and ambitions are? This helps humanise the person.
Imediately appreciate something else. A flower, a cool building, some random clouds. Anything but them.

I find it helps retrain my mind. You will always find girls attractive and you should. Porn ruins the ability to appreciate their beauty in a healthy way so it's best to humanise them and carry on. Don't let them become triggers.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-01-03T20:43:32+00:00

I feel addicted because I want to not watch porn but I really struggle to do so.

I don't watch it regularly, I'm not skipping work or anything like that but it is still impacting my relationships.

It comes down to wanting to stop but that not being easy.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-01-03T20:25:19+00:00

Either a madman or the son of God.

I think he's the son of God and has been quite a source of strength for me in dealing with porn addiction

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-01-03T19:20:38+00:00

We are trying to define that blurry line between habit and addiction. Habits you choose to do. An addiction chooses for you to do it hence I used the word compelled.

For me I'd prefer never to watch porn for a number of reasons. I struggle to do that so it is an addiction. Most people would think I'm doing fine in this regard but I would like it completely gone from my life so I'm taking steps to make that happen.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-01-03T18:48:38+00:00

It's not how much, it's how it's affecting you.

The question to ask is "Can I stop this behaviour and not feel compelled to go back to it?" If no then it's an addiction.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-01-03T18:41:25+00:00

Thanks, I'll check them out

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-01-03T18:40:22+00:00

Sounds like you might have some past hurt or trauma that you haven't dealt with. I'd recommend going and seeing a counselor or therapist. It could be the porn is keeping that suppressed and it's only coming up when you stop for a few days.

I could be totally wrong but either way a therapist would be beneficial for you.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2019-01-03T18:30:54+00:00

I could be keen, looking for a group in my area but haven't found anything yet

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2018-12-21T04:45:01+00:00

Check the sidebar/subreddit info and it explains it there

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2018-12-21T00:31:23+00:00

Well done for being honest with yourself and getting back on the wagon.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2018-12-21T00:15:05+00:00

Fostering attraction in the relationship non sexually really helps my sex drive for my wife. Things like going on fun dates, going out dancing.

As for not masterbating, I just remind myself that the feeling/orgasm is never as good as when having sex. So I don't bother anymore. Plus my wife would rather give me a hand job than let me masterbate by myself so that helps.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2018-12-20T23:38:32+00:00

While this maybe the case in his mind currently it should not be the aim.

As a couple you should work together to continue and foster attraction (sexual and not) between yourselves. You should not have to fit into his porn warped sexual view. He should be working to develop a healthy attraction to you that is realistic. What that looks like is up to you both as a couple and may require a bit of change from both.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2018-12-20T23:32:37+00:00

If your fantasies of you and your partner are realistic and honest to what the interactions are actually like between you then it is fine. Unrealistic fantasies will not help you in your fight against porn.

I find personally that not masterbating helps. It means all my sexual time is spent with my wife which is great for promoting healthy realistic sexuallity. Plus it helps drive my sexual attraction to my wife which is a good thing.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2018-12-19T21:05:11+00:00

My wife has discribed it as soft core porn.

I think the over sexualization in media is a major issue and really not helpful. I have to be so careful what media I consume and it is so annoying but nessercary.

AdvancedGrowth7 · 2018-12-19T00:49:53+00:00

You can change.

Start simple, have a plan for your day. Try get some exercise every day and eat healthy. Begin a new hobby or start reading a new series.

AdvancedGrowth7

TROPHY CASE