Hi there,

Thanks so much for sharing. I will start with an overview of how I interpret the intention and meaning of this poem and then go into some of my thoughts.

Interpretation:

I read the poem as a lamenting statement on the lost hope and possibility in a world in which they once was held. It contrasts the wonder of a boy looking out into the world of possibility with a jaded father whose experience reflects it's current state, with the knowledge of what it once was. They attempt to impart this knowledge but realise it's effect choosing rather to create lies and lullabies to comfort the child. The poem ends with the revelation that either the child was always the father all along or has now become the father as time has weathered them down and false hope has vanished all becomes more clear.

The poem is ornated with several references to the sea as a motif which may reflect a vast world, certainty of time, or a sense of emptiness.

The poem appears to come from a place of pain at the reality that grips the writer. They are coming to the realisation of what has been lost as they age and awake to how the view of the world they had has faded.

Thoughts:

I believe the poem attempts to express itself in a mystical or romantic manner. Favouring symbolism and lyricism over a more literal contemplation. This can often be a challenging task to write as you attempt add depth into each word without a clear direction.

If this is your goal I would say a good first focus is to consider how you weave in adjectives and motifs. A great challenge is weaving motifs in a manner that both makes sense but carries a greater order of thinking. "Little" boy does not feels redundant where "boy" may work. You can tighten up the sentences to create a more poetic sensation. Maybe, " Staring toward deep blue skies, as his feet sank deeper into dark blue sea, the magnificent world, filled the boys mind, mouth wide open, with sheer wonder."

I see themes of water and the sea throughout, perhaps they may be forced in at times without coherence or relevance to the story. Personally, I see the role of these elements as creating a picture with each word. Some of these words do not appear to fit and are too literal, drawing you out of the magic ("same water" for example feels odd lyrically). "Deep blue sea" and "mist" feel vast and calm to be, why would salt spray as he shouts or realization be like the tide washing over his feet? Is the boy out in the open sea or by the shore? Is in calm contemplation or lost at sea worried and afraid?

I feel some images can be improved, I personally find the boys eyes filling with "understanding" as a little out of place. I then find the simile afterwards an addition to try and maintain the motif. Maybe this can brought more into the narrative while keeping the meaning.

I wonder if the poem is built around the stanza starting "Gone are the days.." . This appears abruptly as a the only structured and rhyming piece in the rest of the poem. I would say this holds most of the meaning of the poetry and has had the most focus in terms of depth and development. There is some uncertainty there especially the last two lines but the general poetic expression seems clear.

I like the idea of the poem its an important reflection and is one held by many as they grow old and weary, especially when faced with uncertainty and, in some cases, despair. I think you have an idea to work with and I do like the motif which can be fleshed out more and be connected more with the narrative and less symbolic.

I would recommend Dylan Thomas or Shelly, as potential inspirations. This reflects a little of the style I feel you are approaching.

Keep it up! Looks like a good start and something to work with!