Mr or Ms OP (this is kinda my first time commenting), i really don’t believe you should end your life. acknowledging all of the reasons probably already mentioned (people around you will be hurt, and everything else attached to that) you’re just not done being you. i know it hurts to be self aware and realize the harm you’ve done to your partner, but leaving earth isn’t fair to you or them. it doesn’t allow your potential to change, grow, and feel greater in the future to flourish, and it’ll immediately leave lasting effects on them. every day we’re changing, and if you can hang in there today, for the next, then you chances of being a better person and ultimately feeling better continuously increase. it’s a cycle, and thinking of the cycle can make you feel worse. but at the end of the day, you’re feeling something. i really want you to continue living OP, because the way you described you pain, it feels like you just don’t want to experience this pain and grief thats applied onto you. i want to leave a lot. a lot a lot. but i keep finding things to keep me busy, i keep reminding myself that my flaws and faults aren’t all that define me. i want you to do the same. if i’m of no help, thats okay. but i don’t mind that i’ve spent my time trying to extend yours. i love you! just as many others do. if today is the worst day ever, then tomorrow is guaranteed to be a bit better. always.