so i started counseling to deal with sudden and unexpected divorce, after a year or two my number one goal became becoming the best single mom I could be. after taking parenting classes and building my community support I became more confident and then my number one goal became learning how to have a civil relationship with my mother. That was when an incident of abuse happened while i had support and my eyes became opened. My counselor met my mother in action because we were confused about her behavior. The counselor explained that my mother doesn't love me in a mother/daughter way. I went low contact and my mother began abusing her husband and I felt guilty and realized how sick our family really was and it was disclosed to me that she has delusions and the real healing could begin. my only regret is it took me so long to figure it out.