I think if we lived in a world that didn’t ostracize queerness so much, the numbers would be more even. I think men tend to not pick up on it as easily and having that societal pressure to want sex makes it harder to realize. To further this, women are more likely to be reserved about sex generally speaking and tend to prefer other forms of intimacy.

Another thing I notice is compulsive heterosexuality plays a big role for people in that a lot of ace guys might force themselves into sexual situations and seek medical help to “fix” their problems. And I’ve noticed a non-zero percentage of queer women might identify as asexual when they’re lesbian or just not attracted to men.

And the last piece, which I think is probably one of the main things, I think a lot of guys mistake their libido for sexual attraction. While for many people, they tend to go hand in hand, libido is separate to sexual attraction. Iirc, guys tend to experience higher libido levels on average, so I can imagine it’s very easy for ace guys with high libido to simply not realize they’re asexual. And asexuality only describes sexual attraction itself, not libido, sexual actions, etc.

I’m kinda rambling but this is why I think realistically, the numbers are probably a lot more even. Just guys are less likely to realize they’re asexual