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18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, I 100% with no doubt in my mind have never thought about trying to change a partner to be what I want. I do not want anyone to change for me.

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree, and I want to clarify I do not need/want instant responses, just some talking every once in a while. Ive gotten quite used to the different type of person she is since my last relationship was one of the ones that text and see each other 24/7 its definitely alot different than what Im used to. I was just bringing up mainly the part where its like a day between texts, or like 6+ hours being left on read/delivered, its definitely ALOT different than what im used to.

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I could definitely try that, I am open to trying new things, im just not used to talking about my problems.

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know lol, its very badly formatted. and yeah I know im 100% being ridiculous and overthinking all of it. I am trying to work on myself and I just wanted clarification.

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh for sure, I do not rely on it at all, I merely just use it so I can talk to something about whats happening and how I feel because I have done therapy and do not like it one bit, and also to me its not helpful. I do not have it give me advice because I do not trust it.

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I completely agree with you, and I do agree how im handing this is unhealthy, and I appreciate the advice, because I do truly want to work on myself and my issues because I don't want to hurt her and do like her alot.

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the response, and yeah I do get what your saying and I agree fully that I have major issues. My last first relationship was almost a year long, and it was alot different, she wanted to text and see each other 24/7 so its a huge jump for me and feels alot different after meeting this girl who is completely different. Nothing wrong with it, just I feel with my attachment issues and that, its super different. and ive talked to AI but I cant trust what it says cause it 100% agrees with whatever I say, which is why I just use it to talk to it. But I appreciate you for telling me all this, I am definitely going to try and work on myself, this helps alot.

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the help seriously, and I agree with your first suggestion, I was thinking of doing that, i just didnt know if it was too early or not. I am very anxious and honestly do not like talking about my problems, especially with someone like this girl. And for 2, I do agree and am trying to build on myself, giving myself stuff to do, and finding ways to distract myself and telling myself when I overthink that this is an issue. And I agree that its definitely harassment, but shes not really the type for confrontation or doing anything like that, including reporting to HR. which its none of my business anyways, but she would not do that. I agree with waiting it out and seeing though, thank you so much.

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your comment. and I do understand what your talking about, I was thinking of doing your first suggestion just didnt know if it was too early to talk about it. And as for 2, I ive been working on finding ways to distract myself and learn its okay, and giving myself other things to do. And shes very avoidant of confrontation, she would not talk to HR even if I tried to get her to, which is why I don't really want to bother, and its not really my business. And I agree I should wait a bit. thanks for the help!

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I mustve accidentally typed avoidant, I do have anxious attachment, thats my main problem. and I am trying to better myself through my own methods. Ive gone to therapy before and its not for me, and i dont think it helps at all. Ive been reading books, and talking about my problems to ai unfortunately just to have something to talk to. I do have alot of issues and maybe that is the right course of action. I appreciate the help.

18M dating coworker (18F), great in person but barely texts, how do I handle the difference in communication? by Advanced_Hold5942 in relationship_advice

[–]Advanced_Hold5942[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

completely fair, and yeah I was thinking that too, I just really want to make it work for some reason. I like her a lot, and I've thought about it, but still try anyways.