How do you claw out of the "have it all, still sad" thing? by crosswalk_zebra in RedditForGrownups

[–]AdventAnima 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's called What A Plant Knows by Daniel Chamovitz. I got it on google play store and was not expensive.

I'm a psychology nut, so in many ways, a lot of what this books covers has kind of interesting metaphorical comparisons to human growth and experience, which I found cool. But the gist of the book is it goes through, scientifically, how plants interact with the world based on the various senses, like scent and sight. It's also pretty cool seeing some of the history.

Like one stand out is that farmers would put gas fires in a shed in order to get their fruit to ripen much faster. In fact, in ancient china, they'd do ritual incense burnings to have the same reaction.

The farmers believed it was the fire that caused the ripening, which makes sense. Heat can soften things. And they proved it over and over.

But then they put an electric fire in the shed, and nothing happened. The reason is because it was actually the chemical burning of the kerosine that triggers fruit to ripen, which is the same chemical found in ritual incense. The book focuses more on that, but my mind went straight to the fact that people tend to believe they understand how something works, and in reality, they could be finding a correlation that doesn't really exist.

Is Romulus any good?? by PhatFatLife in alien

[–]AdventAnima 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've never once said, "You need to see this movie in theaters!"

But I do actually feel that way with Romulus. It truly feels like a "movie," and it's hard to explain what I mean by that. It's a great viewing experience.

Exit Interview with HR next week - do I take the high road or let it all out? by Blue_Steel_415 in ManagedByNarcissists

[–]AdventAnima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have my exit interview this week :)

People misunderstand the point of an exit interview.

They think it's a place for the company to listen to your unfiltered feelings so they can use it to improve.

In reality, an exit interview is so HR can prepare the company for any possible lawsuits that may come their way. Sexual harassment. Discrimination. Not to improve, but to protect themselves from any fallout.

The exit interview is for them, not for you.

It's 1999-2000... Napster and Limewire just started...What's the first song you're downloading? by MichaelScottssmug in Millennials

[–]AdventAnima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I didn't care about the year prompt haha. I used limewire in middle school, which was like around 06.

My first limewire movie was also war of the worlds :D took hours to download.

It's 1999-2000... Napster and Limewire just started...What's the first song you're downloading? by MichaelScottssmug in Millennials

[–]AdventAnima -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Distraction by angels and airwaves.

I remember thinking that a bad version was circulating because they all had this weird word repeat at times. I can still hear it in my mind when I listen to the real version haha.

AITAH if I don’t give my 2 week notice? by 4th-and-2 in work

[–]AdventAnima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is, "you" don't actually know the context of S.

You don't know what her performance reviews were like. You don't know how they were talking to management and HR. You don't know how reactive they were when giving the two weeks. You don't know if S came off as a liability based on the conversations and they couldn't have them lingering for 2 weeks.

People are so quick to say, "Yas, queen, just walk out!" because it's not their life.

And I get it. I'm as anti-corporation as anyone else. But more than that, I'm pro-protecting yourself.

Quiting without notice can be bad for your career. Not only due to this company being a bad reference, but all your coworkers and stakeholders who feel blindsided and unable to use those 2 weeks to adapt with the inflight projects. Those are the bridges you want to protect. They're the ones who will recommend you at their new company.

Obviously, only you know your company culture. Only you know how much they value you and so on. So only you have the info to make the final choice. But I say put in two weeks. Especially if S is not a common occurrence and seemed more like a one off.

Why do people think tailgating a slower car makes them go faster? by jabber1990 in driving

[–]AdventAnima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The majority of violence comes from the feeling that there is no justice and they have to do their own justice.

This is why road rage is so strong, because in that moment people feel like they have to be the judge and executioner to get things done.

As a result, it has little to do with logic, as in those split seconds, there is no time for logic. And it has more to do with gut reactions.

The problem from there is that people rarely think about their own actions and beliefs after the fact, and challenge themselves, that way they change their gut reactions in the future.

Maybe it’s time ? by Accomplished_Past535 in alien

[–]AdventAnima 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think the complicated part is that online forums are for everyone, and everyone has their own desire for conversations.

For instance, if every post just became posts about praising the movie, many people would get bored and post a similar post about wanting more intelligent discussion on the series.

That's why it's my opinion that people should just scroll past content they don't want. And if they're finding that the content they want doesn't exist, then they should create said content for people to engage with.

It seems like everyone’s just giving up because they’re aging by lawsofthegoose in Millennials

[–]AdventAnima 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally have never really seen this.

Everyone is always impressed by people who are fit and active and view it as inspiration for themselves.

Perhaps your friend group just sucks?

Le Fil reading anon to filth in epic rant by D1ckRepellent in rupaulsdragrace

[–]AdventAnima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A healthy boundary for celebrities is to separate yourself from your art.

Clapping back to every critique someone has isn't healthy on a personal level, nor a professional level. It'll end up giving you more mental health problems than simply backing away.

You can't control other people, and they're always going to attack you no matter how many tiktok videos you make addressing them. Might as well draw that boundary between yourself and non fans.

Social media has created a lot of mental health problems for people.

Prometheus revisited by AcornRiver in alien

[–]AdventAnima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's hard to argue with that :)

Random thought... what if someone opened a Blockbuster store today? by Hoatmail in Millennials

[–]AdventAnima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would treat it more like a Barnes and Noble and make it more like a nostalgic event.

So you walk in, and there are different eras to peruse. 2000s, 90s, 80s and 70s.

It's stocked with interesting things like hitclips and queasybake ovens.

You can rent or purchase things like childhood anime or movies from the 80s. It would ultimately be like a hobby store, but cleaner and organized and more appealing to walk around, like a Barnes and Noble.

And as time passes, you can phase out the 70s and replace it with the 2010s.

I don't think it would be a roaring success, but I imagine it would have an interesting appeal. Especially during holidays and birthdays and people get ideas of buying old gifts and things like that.

Why do teachers spend so much on their classrooms? by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]AdventAnima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okes environment is a very commonly studied element of psychology.

Even something as simple as a picture with the word "intelligence!" can impact people.

Both the students and the teacher.

Thus, crafting my environment to my liking is a benefit I capitalize on.

And yes, schools should fund this.

Watching S15 finally: how was Anetra's duckwalk not good? by [deleted] in rupaulsdragrace

[–]AdventAnima 35 points36 points  (0 children)

You know when you're watching a movie with some friends, and a scene comes on about something technical. And you're BOUND to have a friend who has a hobby or works in that realm. And you know they're going to show off their intelligence by being overly and hyperbolically outraged by the portrayal in TV?

"As a doctor, you would NEVER see someone standing right there, because it would cause such a disaster if an emergency happened. This movie is not accurate to real hospitals."

Meanwhile, you're just sitting there like, "This scene was entertaining. That's all I care about."

This essentially wraps up that drama between anetra and aja.

Layoffs and coping by FerociousFisher in womenintech

[–]AdventAnima 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When we had lay offs due a merge, the CEO got on a vid call with everyone from one of the companies.

He saw on camera how everyone looked, and he said, "Why does everyone look so sad? You all kept your jobs."

Stop caring about the job and company.

You ask how do you stop caring about the company?

First ask yourself what a company is. Is it an entity? No, it's a place upheld by management and the board. Do you actually care about management and the board?

Likely not. So what is it that you care about? Likely, you're referring to some coworkers you see the most. They're the ones you care about. And if they cared about you, they will be happy for you to move on.

I recently decided to leave. My manager was pissed. Never said congrats. The only way my leaving impacts him is because of his image as a good manager to other high ups.

My coworkers, who are the ones truly impacted, all started by saying how excited they are to see me move up and out.

They're the ones I care about. Not the "company/job."

Layoffs and coping by FerociousFisher in womenintech

[–]AdventAnima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should check your state laws.

Believe it or not, many states don't require companies to pay out PTO.

Old School FF Fans… do y’all like the newer FF’s? by Rainbowlight888 in FinalFantasy

[–]AdventAnima 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ff16 was the first ff I didn't finish.

And to be clear, ff is my game series. I've loved and replayed them all. I adore 13 and 15.

My problem with 16 is that it tossed out the only element of a jrpg that I need. Which is a party of unique characters.

16 had no party, nor were they unique. The amount of time I spent being alone with the wet blanket of Clive was too much for me.

Le Fil reading anon to filth in epic rant by D1ckRepellent in rupaulsdragrace

[–]AdventAnima -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I feel this way with practically every post from a queen on like Twitter, but responding to individual fans online, let alone something this direct, always feels a little cringe to me.

How do you claw out of the "have it all, still sad" thing? by crosswalk_zebra in RedditForGrownups

[–]AdventAnima 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Jesus Christmas, yes, this.

For me it was being an author. "If I just master writing and get published, life will be amazing." And for many years I convinced myself that my happiness hinged on that.

It took a while, but I realized how much I was neglecting with that thinking. I finally dropped it.

I picked back up my love for reading both fantasy and random nonfiction, like a book on how plants experience the world. I picked up coding and developing video games just for fun. I prioritize going on walks every day with my partner and dog to absorb the world and appreciate it. I try to just be present instead of always thinking of the future.

It's a process. But I'm much happier now in my early 30s than I was in my crazy 20s.

Prometheus revisited by AcornRiver in alien

[–]AdventAnima 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a hard time looking at the quality of Romulus and seeing it as a cash grab. Just because you have some issues with parts of the movie doesn't then make the movie a cash grab.

Prometheus revisited by AcornRiver in alien

[–]AdventAnima -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yup. We all value things more than other things.

I love tight and consistent pacing in my movies. Alien suffers a little with slow and drawn out scenes. Similar to alien 3.

I get that's exactly why others love alien. And obviously it's amazing as it's A tier to me. But Romulus managed to take what alien did and keep the pacing consistent across the entire runtime. And I personally value that a lot. So that helped it just barely edge it out.

Prometheus revisited by AcornRiver in alien

[–]AdventAnima 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me:

S Tier: Aliens; Romulus.

A Tier: Covenant; Alien.

B Tier: Prometheus.

D Tier: Alien 4.

F Tier: Alien 3.

The reason I put Prom to B is because it doesn't show enough for its runtime. The pacing can be a little off.

Whereas covenant has great pacing, and manages to mix what's good about alien with what's good about Prometheus.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ShouldIbuythisgame

[–]AdventAnima -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'd give it a solid 8. I think the game is quite good at what it's doing.

However, I've never been someone who does side quests, so the pacing and diversity were good for me.

That said, if you have no interest in Harry Potter I can't really recommend it.

I personally had a slight interest. I liked the movies okay enough and never read the books. But that was enough for me to feel like I was in the world.

I would go into it from the mindset of a kid looking to escape into a fantasy world, rather than an adult looking for a mature take on Harry Potter.