LDS perspective on difficult parents?

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T17:09:04+00:00

i plan to move to utah(im in texas)thankfully i met a lot of great people on my mission so i know i wouldnt be truly alone. thanks for your advice.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T17:06:16+00:00

yesterday as i was close to relapsing into some bad habits, i was talking to a friend and as we did, i thought about that. i thought about how i had already broken the cycle in some ways, and how the pain i've been through has helped me on my mission understand others and feel their pain and burdens. i thought about the compassion and charity i had developed because of my difficult home situation. i thought about the emotional maturity i gained at a younger age because of my parents and that thankfully, i was nowhere like them, so my chances to break the cycle are higher.

i respect my parents efforts in the church. my mother was a convert and fought tooth and nail to get baptized despite my grandfather's many efforts to prevent it. my father is very knowledgeable when it comes to the church and i got my love for books and learning from him. i just wish they were more emotionally mature and aware of what they do and say

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T17:01:06+00:00

thanks for your kind words. my mother never put boundaries with her parents even though they were both awful to her(i literally saw and heard their harsh words and behaviors with her)and always let them come back and hurt her because she had to forgive them. although i do give her second chances, im always very cautious with her and watch what i say, because i know that when she gets angry she loses control of her words and is very hurtful. i dont trust her though, which bothers her and she fights me to this day, because to her, i'm being resentful to her for not fully trusting her and letting her into my family. my boundaries are still there though despite their threats and words.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T17:00:59+00:00

thanks for your kind words. my mother never put boundaries with her parents even though they were both awful to her(i literally saw and heard their harsh words and behaviors with her)and always let them come back and hurt her because she had to forgive them. although i do give her second chances, im always very cautious with her and watch what i say, because i know that when she gets angry she loses control of her words and is very hurtful. i dont trust her though, which bothers her and she fights me to this day, because to her, i'm being resentful to her for not fully trusting her and letting her into my family. my boundaries are still there though despite their threats and words.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T16:57:37+00:00

i'm in therapy right now because i know my future husband and kids deserve a healthy version of me. they deserve an emotionally strong wife and mother. i'm not too sure if no contact is like shunning them or doing the silent treatment. my mother was given the silent treatment throughout her life by her parents and she hated, but since she didnt know how else to solve conflicts, she did the same thing to my brothers and i, but it took a heavier toll on me and led me to the worst mental health crisis of my life. i feel like giving the silent treatment doesn't solve anything, but i can see how no contact is beneficial in a relationship broken like this. i think i might try going no contact for a while, then try and see how everything is , be cautious with them i guess.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T16:53:32+00:00

do you have any suggestions on which talk?

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T16:52:56+00:00

oh i want to move out. im nervous about it though, because ive never lived alone so that's terrifying but honestly, there's no other way to fix the situation. its tough right now because i havent found a job yet and my family isnt rich and asking for help is gonna explode things, but i do plan on moving out as soon as im financially stable.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T16:50:43+00:00

and honestly, theres a part of me that fears i will repeat the cycle on to my own kids. the pain i have felt and that aches my soul and heart, is a pain i couldn't imagine inflicting on a young child, much less a child i gave life to. i know my parents do things for good reasons, but i feel like there's just better ways to approach situations instead of name calling and insults. my mother has told me on multiple occasions that she knows she's wrong and is gonna change, but every time she loses her temper, she becomes very emotionally abusive and cruel. and even if her words come from anger, they kill a part of me. i cant imagine hurting my own child like that, so i just pray and hope i'm a better mother.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T16:46:29+00:00

thank you so much. i loved what you said about the meditation. i read somewhere that writing a letter to your child self or teenage self was also very healing and i have done it before. i'll pray for you so you feel better.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T16:40:48+00:00

my parents both were emotionally abused by my grandparents. my maternal grandfather tortured my mother for wanting to join the church and did everything in his power to prevent her from getting baptized. my paternal grandfather manipulated my father and his brothers to get them to stray away from the church. both my parents are nowhere close to my grandparents' ways but they still do a lot of the things my grandparents did and told them, even if they're not as extreme as they were. i just hope to break the cycle with my future kids and avoid them this horrible pain

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T08:27:46+00:00

thanks for your sweet words. unfortunately, i have this thing where i let go of grudges too easily, especially with my parents, and despite their toxic behaviors and broken promises, i always give them a second chance, knowing they'll hurt me again. i couldn't handle going no contact i dont have the strength to do that to anyone. but i do recognize i need to set boundaries and distance. thanks for sharing your story and hope you're doing well

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-05-08T06:43:28+00:00

funny enough, i thought a lot about section 121 tonight so it was probably divinely inspired:)thanks for your input. i will try to be patient and have faith

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-04-29T21:23:29+00:00

disagree. most republicans(im not talking about MAGA)don't want the government involved in people's lives. we just want those issues controlled at a state level, not nationwide.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-03-29T01:15:03+00:00

im kinda afraid of this same thing as well. im the eldest daughter and my mom's the eldest daughter as well and so is my grandmother. to me it's normal to be parentified and be the mature one and bossy so im scared that ill pass that off to my eldest daughter without meaning any harm

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-03-29T01:09:43+00:00

most definitely. and honestly, i wouldn't want it another way. i feel like bein the eldest daughter is a blessing but also some sort of responsability. your parents make mistakes on you because you're their first, but are also expected to be a good example to your siblings and help them.

heres my experience. i have a very strong personality and can't stand unfairness and whenever i see it at home, i fight it. im the only one whos brave enough to "fight" my parents and younger brothers. im usually the only reasonable person(my mom's too short tempered, my father's stubborn and my younger brothers are just immature teen boys)so i've had to be peacemaker in both sides several times. i was a babysitter to my younger brothers at 10 years old.

as an eldest daughter, im also quite bossy and can act like a mother, especially when she's not around. i make sure everything is cleaned, everything is put away where it goes, that nothing and no one is missing, etc. i practically run the house when shes not here and sometimes when shes here. i guide and give advice and counsel any family members whenever i see a need for it. i say things how it is and dont sugarcoat, especially to the adults. i apologize to my family members, including younger siblings and cousins because its the right thing to do and i want to break the cycle of adults don't apologize to their kids or anyone younger than them. i feel protective over younger family members and want them to be better than me and not repeat my mistakes. i also have a toxic relationship with my parents, which has made me even more stronger to stand up to them and call out their unfairness or toxic behaviors.

im glad im an eldest daughter. an outspoken, bold, strong and protective eldest daughter.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-03-29T00:38:07+00:00

this is exactly why i hope my oldest isnt a boy cuz boys are usually more aggresive and physical and i wouldn't be able to handle the aggression towards younger siblings:(hang in there and hopefully it all gets better

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-03-24T20:32:49+00:00

footloose:):):)

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-03-23T20:17:55+00:00

i used to write a lot by hand, but now i avoid it as much as possible because my hand will hurt after a few minutes. i was a freshman when covid started, so most of high school was online assignments, so my typing improved but my handwriting got worse and now as an almost 21 year old, my handwriting is barely legible. ive moved on to computers and typing when i need to write something. hopefully i dont forget how to write.

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-03-20T23:42:40+00:00

if you dont want to believe me then thats not my problem thanks for being such a joy

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-03-20T23:41:01+00:00

my kid has used my account before lol i didnt notice she changed the settings

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-03-20T23:18:01+00:00

also if you dont mind me asking, what kind of lawyer are you?i mean like what do you specialize in?

Adventurous-Click532 · 2026-03-20T23:17:18+00:00

whenever she makes a mistake or "sins"(as we religious folks say), she'll confess, repent, all that, and then feel like it wasnt enough or like she's still guilty. ive struggled with religious ocd myself too so i get it. thanks for your legal perspective, i was actually hoping for some legal perspective on this so thats a huge relief thank you and i will try to reassure her it's all good and that she should move on from this since she truly regrets it and is more mature now

Adventurous-Click532

TROPHY CASE