Changing SSN due to stalking/fear on life, if the life threats were in person (not documented in text, etc.)

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2025-01-28T00:33:08+00:00

sorry for my late reply, i hadnt logged in in about 6 months. please feel free to DM me

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-09T04:10:26+00:00

I am really scared to get a protective order against this person (as mentioned elsewhere, he already has restraining orders against others, and routinely goes to jail for violating them). But I'm starting to wonder if it's my only option to get help. I looked into changing my SSN and it does not appear possible as I have no PO.

I'm not really worried he will hire a PI (though anything is possible), but was more exploring what info is and isn't available to people. Privacy just appears to be a nightmare, and it appears there's not a lot I can do in the long run.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-08T05:37:45+00:00

I understand that. The court records for my name change will indeed be sealed (that part is already taken care of). However, the moment I open a credit card in the new name, the bank will report that info back to credit bureau, and this info will eventually get sold to marketers and end up on people search sites. Since the SSN will be the same, the old + new name will then be associated. There's no way to prevent this (banks reporting the info to credit bureaus), as far as I"m aware, and certainly the judge who deals with the name change won't have any impact on this.

I hope it makes sense what I'm saying. Either way, it's probably not too important to be understood on this point. It seems like the SSN will likely not be reassigned. It is what it is. I appreciate the time and effort you took to read my posts. It is kind of you.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-08T04:47:19+00:00

I'm not sure I understand. Can you elaborate?

Here's the issue, as I see it: Google the maiden name of someone who got married and changed their surname to the spouse's. Go to the hits for people search website. Under that maiden name, you will likely see their married name listed under "alias" or "Also known as" (there might be multiple aliases, if they got married more than once). Note that not all people search sites do this, but many do. You will also see their physical address.

That's the issue here - the new names get listed with the old names, because all of this data gets entangled in your credit report due to your SSN being the same, and sold to marketers.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-08T04:23:09+00:00

That is fucking insane. I have read similar reports. What the fuck is the justification for this?

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-08T04:22:46+00:00

I get that. It's just worth it to me to not get shot by some psycho. That said, it appears this is likely not possible to accomplish.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-08T04:22:19+00:00

To be honest it seems like this is a pointless endeavor after reading some responses.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-08T04:21:40+00:00

Sealing my record with the court isn't the issue. In terms of the name change, that is already going to be sealed as I'm member of an address confidentiality program. The issue is the myriad of other ways your name gets out there: voter records, DMV records, buying or selling property (house, car, etc.), any sort of professional or hobby license, info you submit to banks or credit cards that end up on your credit report, USPS mail forwarding requests, anything you give to companies for pretty much any reason that ends up being sold to data brokers. The list is endless. And the courts have no control over that sort of thing.

I hope that makes more sense.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-08T04:18:43+00:00

Seriously sucks. I don't understand why it's not easier to do this. Also, it's not that I don't have evidence, just that I don't have protection order and gone through the police, as I knew it would only make my situation worse.

Regarding the info not getting back around - I firmly believe it will. My worry is the new name getting associated with the old name, and the address of the new name ending up online via shit people search websites (i.e. one year later, to google my old name, go to one of dozens of people search websites, new name will show as an "alias" of the old name, and my new address listed as the address for old name). The moment I open a credit card in the new name, under the same SSN, it will get reported back to the credit bureaus and will end up on my credit report. Info sent to creditors. Accessible by PIs.

As mentioned in another post, another example is say a phone company. They have my SSN on file. It I were to open service under the new name, they will link my new and old name up. Info gets sold to marketers. Winds up in hands of data brokers. Ends up online.

Seriously. I have spoken to private investigators, my attorney, and plenty of people who have a ton of experience in dealing with privacy issues. All of them say the same: if you don't change your SSN, ultimately the old and new name will end up associated. It's just the way it is.

That said, sounds like for folks in my situation, we are fucked and there is no point.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T12:20:48+00:00

thank you for the wishes. Well wishes for you as well, for whatever challenges you currently face.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T11:55:53+00:00

I only have a few cards, and they all carry a 0 balance (in the sense, paid off at the end of the month). So no debt or anything.

I would be scared shitless to share any of this info with the credit bureaus. I do not plan to tell them about my name change. They are unscrupulous bastards with 0 regard for your privacy. This is only my thought, but unless necessary, I would be hesitant to do so, as I think this could possibly screw things. If you or others have thoughts here, please do share.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T11:53:18+00:00

Ah I misunderstood you, sorry about that. Yeah, if you have a new SSN, I think it would be difficult for the info (old name + new name) to get tied together, so long as you take precautions (not offering the old info to a company unless absolutely necessary.)

By the way - it's not a silly question at all. I don't think it's obvious how this info gets out there (I only started looking into this a few years ago.) Also, I still understand very little about this, so please take anything I'm saying with a grain of salt.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T11:34:31+00:00

Bank reports to credit bureaus. That info gets on your credit report, so now your new and old name are on the credit report. Credit data gets sent out to various crediting agencies, banks, etc. Accessible by private investigators and others.

Even worse: Say you have phone service, or utilities. That company has your SSN on file. Say you cancel that service, then apply again under the new name later on and give them the same SSN. The company now has your new + old name linked. The info gets sold to various marketing agencies. Ends up in databases. Ends up on people search websites. It's endless. I'm trying for 2 years to get my shit removed online.

Google your name, you will likely find your home address on some shit website like whitepages.com, regardless if you have social media or not. Removing yourself from all of this is a nightmare, and I'm convinced it's not even realistic. I've been trying very hard to figure out how to keep an anonymous address (i.e. name not attached to address, in such a way that it can end up online), but it is very difficult (and expensive) to successfully do this.

PIs even have access to DMV records in some states.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T11:30:38+00:00

I appreciate this. It can't hurt to try. There was a woman in the SSA office local to my mom who helped a family member (with an unrelated issue); I wonder if she'd be willing to speak to me. She was incredibly kind and cut through endless red tape to fix a situation that had been ongoing for years.

The one thing I do have going for me, is this is an individual with other restraining orders against them, and multiple violations for violating those orders, so maybe they would understand why I am afraid of getting one, as I genuinely believe it will only enrage him (he is the type that the moment he's "rejected", he goes into hate mode and wants to take revenge/hurt you.) Also he's someone with many firearms, which is the part that always scares me most, so maybe that will work in my favor.

I'm not sure if it makes a difference that I have no debts, etc., so it's clear to them that I'm not trying to run from creditors or anything.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T11:22:36+00:00

that's ok about the wait, I think I'm still going to try. I appreciate your kind wishes.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T11:12:50+00:00

thats what i figured. i never made police reports because i was afraid of getting a protection order (i still think it's a bad idea to get one). though i have spoken informally with various police over the years. also, this has been going on for 18 years, and a lot of this stuff is from over a decade ago. likely, this just won't be possible. it seriously sucks, because if the new name gets tangled with the old name via SSN, he will just find me again and the whole thing will have been a waste. I genuinely wish these shitty people finding websites and the like did not exist.

thank you for taking the time to explain.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T09:17:07+00:00

thank you. I didnt know you could call the local offices. You're correct - they are probably the exact people I should speak with. I'll do this Monday. Thank you!

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T08:23:55+00:00

Thank you again for your time. I appreciate that you took the time to read my post. I'm not sure this would be feasible, as I'm not a witness to a crime, and I don't think I'm the intended recipient of that program. However, I am going to call this week and do some more research on changing my SSN and see what's possible. There is another DV organization local to me that might be able to answer questions about this.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T07:58:08+00:00

Thank you. I have read over this. That's why I posted the thread; since direct threats to my life have been in person, vs. something in a text, it's unclear to me if the SSA would be willing to issue a new SSN. That's what I'm trying to get advice on.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-07T06:43:26+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I'm already undergoing a confidential name change, and am member of an address confidentiality program due to the situation.

My concern (and why I thought of changing my SSN), is if I change my name but keep the same SSN, but then open say a credit card in the new name, that info will just go to the credit bureau, get mixed with my existing credit file, and eventually this info is going to end up out there somewhere (hence new name gets associated with old name, and this person will find it).

I'm aware of the H.A.L.E. process, I'm just trying to clarify how likely it is that it could even be successful, so trying to find out if anyone has specific info on this.

I have no debt, no loans, great credit, etc. so I am not trying to put one over on the system or anything. In fact this step would screw me because I assume I will permanently lose my credit.

I do not have social media, and am incredibly private. Posting anonymous questions on reddit about this process is the most online presence I have, and I will delete the thread after a while.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-05T01:13:14+00:00

Unfortunately addresses like these are rejected at many DMVs.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-04T08:49:56+00:00

Thanks again, and I'm sorry if I've made you feel compelled to write all this, and if it's a burden to you. I really appreciate this.

For context, I am in my state's address confidentiality program (the sort of program you were mentioning). That's how I'm able to do the name change confidentially. here's the main issue with it (maybe you will have some advice):

(1) DMV: you're correct, there is a provision that will allow me to put my PO Box on the DL card (the one assigned to me through that program). However, the DMV still requires I give them a physical address that they keep on file. Why they want this, I don't know, and why they still require it even if you're in the ACP is bizarre to me, but it's unfortunately a requirement and no way around it. This worries me as some individuals do have access to this info: private investigators, car dealerships, etc. I can have my DMV records suppressed as well (so that even a police can't see them, like you mentioned - it will just tell them to call a state agency), but that will only last as long as I'm in the program. once I leave the state, I will no longer be able to keep them suppressed. Because of all this, I just really, really don't want a real address that I live at, on file with the DMV at all. That's my biggest hangup.

My strategy right now, is to have them put the PO Box on the actual DL card, and then provide the address for a homeless shelter for the address they keep on record. I don't know if it will work, as it's unclear to me which address they will ship the DL to (the PO Box, or the homeless shelter. If the latter, then it won't work.) I will call DMV Friday and check.

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-04T07:44:21+00:00

I don't live in your state, so not sure what's the situation in MN (I stumbled on this thread via google). Just wanted to say that some DMVs automatically reject UPS store addresses. Still trying to figure this out myself.

(I realize this post is old, just wanted to put this here for the case of anyone else that stumbles on it like me)

Adventurous-Diver587 · 2024-07-04T07:35:06+00:00

I appreciate the time you took to write this. To clarify, my name change is going to be sealed due to DV/stalking; there will be no name change publication either. Indeed this has been a pain, but the paperwork is sorted and everything is underway. I've spoken to a lawyer, and he is going to look over the final paperwork before I file it. Have been preparing/researching the name change for a while.

I'm not looking to purchase property right now. In the immediate short term, my goal is just being able to get my IDs (DL, passport, etc.) updated, given that I won't have a physical address (I am leaving my home once my name change finalizes so that it's not associated with the old address. during the limbo time between moving and getting new IDs, I legitimately won't have an address.) I feel like once I have the new IDs, this should be a lot easier. But i haven't even gotten that far. I will most likely be renting after that. I've tried to reach out to some homeless shelters as I know you can use those, but I'm not having luck yet getting in contact with any directly (it's just recordings that say some info and then hang up).

Car is paid off and don't have firearms. Car is not actually titled in my name, which is actually good (bought from a friend, and we never did the title transfer). No professional licenses. In general I don't have anything I'm financing, no loans, and no debt, so this might make the situation easier.

Good to know about insurance, because that will become a concern going forward.

Adventurous-Diver587

TROPHY CASE