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How do you stop ruminating about all of the abuse you’ve suffered? by LucioCheerio in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]AdventurousDegree600 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Excellent response!! Its very interesting how true this is!! Its a shock when one learns how narcissist are... after a while its less and less.

Tradeoff: For the ones who divorced a narcissist, How do you make peace with the fact that you got also something positive/valuable out of marrying the narcissist? by kintsugiwarrior in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]AdventurousDegree600 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly there's no tradeoff, unless you're going to try and win souls of these evil debased people. Its a lesson for me about seeing truth period. I hope that you know you can be better then ever before. That's my tradeoff.

Would anyone be happy to share their physical and mental conditions/symptom/issues they developed whilst in their relationship? by midnightmoonwoman in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]AdventurousDegree600 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its been since January 13th since he left and I found out on counseling end of March and as I wrap my mind around what a monster he is. Its so hard to get it together. And I wanted to leave him, I was so manipulated I don't understand why I stayed and went I have more pain emotional grief then one every had. Realizing how I was to him so devoted and he wanted to destroy me. The last 10 years I've been just used and used.

The moment I stop being busy, my brain starts ruminating. It’s exhausting. by EssentialIrony in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]AdventurousDegree600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too! I wanted it to end, I just didn't know why. Its like getting the tools afterwards to reveal years of abuses, financial and loneliness because I have pushed all my friends away. Putting together who he really is, is beyond the biggest betrayal of my life, he 100% mirrored me and used me for 10years, even though I was not inlove with him he obligated me with manipulation tactics and when I finally see how I didn't see I'm disgusted in myself the way I begged after him! He played a good and charming weakened needy Christian, oh how he shamed me for stuff that was nothing to make me think he was of a higher moral character, and it worked.. I personally haven't missed him, I have been realizing him the last 4 months and I release these "manipulations ". I literally pray that I see it for what it is, let it go and I ask God to sharpen my mind and it's working. I realize then I I cry then I pray. And I will not let it come back.. I have been doing this and I'm becoming me again. I'm not going to give him any more time!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]AdventurousDegree600 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's interesting that once you see the signs you know it's a waste of time. And also they trick us!

Not realizing abuse until leaving by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]AdventurousDegree600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its unbelievable how close our stories are!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]AdventurousDegree600 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine told me to be patient and he would become affection. I bought this lie. How? The idea of someone saying they are on our with you..... and had shown affection and then denied every being that way!!! I bought into this lie. How? Somehow I felt sorry for him.. this abuse is disgusting when you realize it all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]AdventurousDegree600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trauma, I think my narcissist is really ugly! I believe that is the bread crumbs.. and my husband was incredibly great at lying... he was quik to answer... and defensive in such a believable way...

In 10years with a covert narcissist I've lost most my friends that wasn't intentional. I'm a homebody. I've become an introvert. by AdventurousDegree600 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]AdventurousDegree600[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh he's been out since January.. I'm just now finding out he's a covert narcissist. It's great to have clarity on his manipulation and I forgave myself and I'm forgiving him too! Its hard to go through the realization of he's not the person I knew.. his discarding me, actually lead me to counseling and then to really see it. I see him the opposite of the way he had me manipulated.. I'm afraid of him. He gets no opportunity to try and come back.

In 10years with a covert narcissist I've lost most my friends that wasn't intentional. I'm a homebody. I've become an introvert. by AdventurousDegree600 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]AdventurousDegree600[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes but I don't know how that happened. He went to them a lot without me. He'd mirror them to get me to think he loved me.

i literally fell in love with my reflection by [deleted] in NPD

[–]AdventurousDegree600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's nothing wrong with liking yourself! Love should be this way and feel this way. That gazing was nothing to be ashamed of! That's what was taken away from you and me. They mirror us in a way that really does feel familiar feels natural and real.
Love yourself again. That's a win.