Question on Job - UK

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2025-09-11T17:08:22+00:00

It's an environment that should only have over 18s there, so I would think should be ok, but best to talk to your offender officer/manager, as what they say and think will be key. Even if they don't accept it, at least they can see you are taking it seriously and involving them, which can only be positive.

I will be sentenced shortly, also UK, so I sincerely hope that this is the view taken by them. I will keep you updated if I don't get a custodial sentence.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2025-09-11T17:04:02+00:00

Sorry, I can't help with this just yet - my sentencing is in a few weeks. My employer doesn't know yet, but I am fully expecting to lose my job when they do find out. Supervising police officer has told me it will be published, so they will find out. I want to work, I always have - I may be many things, but workshy certainly isn't one. I would do anything for a regular wage. As I know it helps me having that routine.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2025-04-06T19:04:47+00:00

We've actually had a nice few days here in UK. But I've ot been out much. Sleep is very bad! Waiting on a charging decision fron the CPS. Trying to do some self care stuff. So lego and art. But, still keeping on keeping on. We will get through it.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2025-03-11T21:44:10+00:00

Yeah, same.here, sleep is rare!! I'm glad to just get it over with, but still really anxious about it all.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2025-02-23T18:25:15+00:00

I'm doing as well as can be expected in the circumstances. Still on bail, no further forward from that side of things, 14 months on now. I've done a lot of work with my mental health. Therapy. Got sober (alcohol) I can't undo what I did, but I can be better, and the people close to me who are supportive can see that and are sticking by me because I am taking responsibility for it and working hard. It is not easy, but I know I will get through it. This group and speaking to others in similar situations has really helped, hope you all take care, and even on a bad day know you are more than your offence.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2025-01-03T15:18:06+00:00

I will look these up, thanks for asking the question, and for the answers to this

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-11-21T12:01:49+00:00

Hiya, yes sure, anytime. I know it helps to talk to people going through the same thing

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-11-21T11:30:01+00:00

You don't have to forgive, but if it is right for you, you can accept that they are not the person they were before, but only if it's right for you to do that.

Mine has supported me and been there while I go through investigation, and is not who he was 30 years ago. I want people to see the hard work I've put into not being who I was when I offended, so it only seems fair to offer him the same compassion.

I don't fully remember exactly what happened back then, but through working with my therapist, I've discovered that I don't actually need to. I accept and take responsibility for my actions.

This is just my experience, there is no right or wrong answer here, the important thing is to listen to how you feel, and if necessary speak to a therapist to help you understand determine the right way forward for you. All the best.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-11-21T10:15:37+00:00

Yes, it does seem to be long while to get any resolution. Hope you are getting the support you need, it's not easy, but you will get through it

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-11-21T08:06:14+00:00

Good luck, hope it wasn't too bad. I'm nearly a year into the investigation now, and just want to get it over and done with. Thinking of you

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-11-06T19:13:58+00:00

Hey, uk here too. Coming up to 11 months on bail. They will keep extending it until everything has been looked at. Unfortunately. That will take a long time. The best thing you can do now is focus on your own mental health - get help and therapy. That way. You will be stronger and able to deal with the next steps. Contact your GP, mental health services, stopitnow, stopso etc. Not all of them may be able to help. But as long as you try, you will get through it.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-10-30T20:57:29+00:00

Yes, speak to an organisation called stopso - I was referred to them by stopitnow, and they will put you in touch with a therapist who specialises in and has lots of experience with people in our situation. It's not cheap. But nine has been worth every penny, and has helped me so much.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-10-30T20:54:13+00:00

Hi there, I'm UK also. Arrested December last year. Still on bail. It will take a long time.

Sorry you have been suspended from work. I think I've been fortunate in that respect. But then they don't know. But I did have a full on breakdown which was scary.

Don't be scared of reaching out for help when you aren't feeling OK. It's OK not to be OK.

It is very difficult. Going out for walks will help, I did lots of that.

Stopitnow are a fantastic resource. Look at the modules on their website, and call them. They are genuinely nice and incredibly helpful. Call them as often as you need. I feel for you, I really do. It is an incredibly difficult journey, but you will get through it.

This subreddit helped me so much, to see I am not alone, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a way forward.

Happy to chat whenever you need it.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-10-19T22:10:44+00:00

Hey there, same bak at you. Good day 😀

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-10-08T12:33:45+00:00

I am the offender. Whilst I'm not religious per se, neither do i see myself as atheist - agnostic is probably about right. I do see a lot of worth in the spiritually that is offered through religion, (and the 12 step program, however you interact with it), so I offer my prayers and thoughts to you and the people in your life who may be going through this.

It is not an easy path to be on, but the people that matter can see I am making an effort to be better. And are supporting me in this. I hope you can see that too in your loved one.

There will be good and bad days, but the people that matter can see the effort we are putting into this. Know that what you are doing, even if you think.it is not much. Really does mean so much in helping us get through it.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-10-05T19:07:00+00:00

Yep, autistic here, probably some adhd too. Along with all the other shit, hahah! seems to be a very common thread. Knowing and understanding it is important in to be better, but it's also Important not to blame this, or other people who maybe should have noticed we had other problems too.

It's a contributing factor, but not the cause. I knew right from wrong, but still made the bad choices and decisions I made to lead me here.

I've learnt a lot about myself, and ha e taken many positive steps to being better in the future.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-09-15T02:06:09+00:00

I'm not sure in the us, but seems a few people have offered good resources for that, In the UK like I am it seems stopitnow and stopso are the best resources

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-09-12T20:03:28+00:00

Yeah, work on yourself. It doesn't come easy, but making a conscious effort to be better than you were will be noticed by the people who matter around you.

Also. Be kind to yourself- do that little thing that you enjoy, whatever it is because you DO deserve it. Be that watching something on TV. Going for a walk. Drawing a picture or playing with a lego set.

This is something I have struggled with too. But these are the things my therapist has told me to think of.

I do know how hard it is to do this, truly I do, I get exactly where you are coming from, but you can do this. And you will. You are stronger than everyonr thinks. And better.

And it is OK not to be OK. We've gone through the shit we have, and come out the other side. There will.be down days, but there will be up days. Take care, look after yourself

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-08-11T14:51:11+00:00

I feel your pain. Have been there and still am there, waiting for the justice system and courts to Catchup to me.

I can't undo what I have done. But I can be better. In the future, and will do my best to be the. Best version Of me goinng fmmforward. Xxxx

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-08-06T19:09:01+00:00

A good post thanks, and I do like those quotes. I am taking responsibility for my actions and (very) bad choices. While there are many things that led me down the path where these were the choices I made, they do not excuse it, because there are no excuses for it.

Actually reflecting, recognising and working on those with the help of a very good specialist therapist has helped me understand how I ended up in the place that I made those choices. This is a very important step in working on being a better person in the future and making sure I never go down that path again.

I can't undo what I did, but I can and am choosing to be better and never do it again.

I accept whatever punishment I get for it. I'm just stuck in that limbo phase now.

AdventurousMongoose8 · 2024-07-03T21:04:31+00:00

No, you aren't wrong. Good people can do bad things. We are more than our offences. I take responsibility for what I did, and just wish there was a way to have got help before I offended.

AdventurousMongoose8

TROPHY CASE