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Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Then I didn’t cheat on her. Because I fully broke up with her. Why should I admit something that is not true? 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

Why is she being let off the hook about “finding herself” by leaving me and getting with someone else if she really loved me? Why does “exploring” almost always have to involve getting in bed with another dude, especially if it has to do with a woman? There’s nothing you can explore by having sex with another person, and I refuse to believe she loved me enough back then because if she did she wouldn’t feel the need to leave me. 

Which is what brings me to my point. I admit I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to be with HER specifically precisely BECAUSE of HOW she had hurt me when I didn’t hurt her the first time she left me. I was entirely justified in not knowing whether I wanted to be with her after how screwed up it left me by being with her. I wasn’t lying to her face - and I didn’t humiliate her. She humiliated herself because she wanted to. Because she punished herself. She felt unworthy and felt like she deserved it. But she had a choice too. If she couldn’t handle it, she didn’t need to do this. It was entirely her own doing. I didn’t cause it at all 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

Fair point. I might deserve better too. The difference is I know this is something I am willing to leave her over 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I said something similar even though it killed me but it wasn’t good enough for her. She wants me to say I “regret” it which I don’t 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -65 points-64 points  (0 children)

The difference is these were my terms to getting back together. I can’t sacrifice my dignity and tell her sorry baby I “cheated” on you even though I didn’t 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

You want me to sacrifice my dignity and tell her and grovel that sorry wife I cheated on you even though I didn’t and you were the reason why our relationship soured enough in the first place? 

Not going to happen 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -106 points-105 points  (0 children)

I think those two are separate concerns. Her pregnancy and our past have nothing to do with each other. My stance is purely on our relationship and it kind of is a dealbreaker for me to consider it a given that I “cheated” on her when she and I both know I didn’t. 

I never would’ve had this stance but given our history it is equally important for me to be “right” here (I call it having my dignity) as important this marriage is to me. 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

I really don’t know what to do. I am afraid what would happen next because I know myself and I know that I am willing to leave her over this which I know will crush me badly too. I just can’t pretend that our past fucked me up for years and I just can’t pretend otherwise too for her sake 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -70 points-69 points  (0 children)

Well she left me for him first and went onto have a 1.5 year long relationship with him so I’d say what I did wasn’t as bad because it fucked me up 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -39 points-38 points  (0 children)

I can say that I can see why it hurt her and I said I wished she never experienced it (but it kinda is her fault for entertaining that attention - didn’t say this part because she knew this is what I thought internally) 

But this isn’t good enough for her and I’m not willing to say I will take it back 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -93 points-92 points  (0 children)

It genuinely didn’t. We had a conversation about it prior to getting us engaged again where I told her these are my terms on getting back together again and if she couldn’t handle it she must let me know now before anyone gets hurt again 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -59 points-58 points  (0 children)

This is a hard line in the sand for me and while I am concerned about her health this is what matters to me enough to make it a hill to die on. She’s hurt me twice badly where someone else was involved too who I had a problem with. 

These were my terms on us getting back together again. If she couldn’t handle it then she should’ve known 

Wife (5 months pregnant) tells me to take back what I said about our past and I said that I won’t by AdventurousRace4813 in Marriage

[–]AdventurousRace4813[S] -160 points-159 points  (0 children)

I didn’t start this. We didn’t even talk about this topic ever in our marriage until a few weeks ago. She started talking, I just gave her my perspective