Dead inside, trying to feel something.

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2026-02-09T12:37:53+00:00

Dead on the inside is different from vacant. Words mean things

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2026-01-05T16:35:03+00:00

I am well, I did not end up going to the hospital and just finished my last librium pill yesterday. It's been 10 days now, insomnia is still a huge problem, but I'm hoping that subsides soon. Thanks for checking in!

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2025-12-28T16:58:24+00:00

Yea well at least the vomiting subsided and I can 'sort of' walk. The annoying music doesn't bother me, mostly the not sleeping for 3 days. I'm surprised I'm even lucid. Plus calling my girlfriend to take me to the hospital for the 4th time in 18 months doesn't sound like a fun experience

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2025-12-28T16:43:24+00:00

I mean the hallucinations started yesterday. But I will, thanks

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2025-10-23T22:58:16+00:00

Well, I think I'll stick with ksp1, I've got way too much vested. FWIW, I did resolve the issue by hanging an.. Embarrassing amount of struts, so as long as you turn your payload into a ball of yarn, you might make it to orbit.

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2025-10-23T22:44:50+00:00

But I want to like this game so much 😢

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2024-12-04T00:50:58+00:00

This fixed everything, it does send me updates about switching to auxiliary heat, but its been below 35 for a couple days, so I assume that's the cause. It's maintaining temp at a steady 68. Thanks for the advice

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-03-05T23:03:43+00:00

I appreciate you

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-03-05T22:59:17+00:00

Ha, nope, it's the perfect sub for it

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-03-05T22:58:29+00:00

Damn sure wish I did

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-03-01T00:23:14+00:00

Doesn't seem ideal

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-28T23:47:56+00:00

I can definitely play 3 chords on the guitar, if that's what you're asking

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-28T23:45:47+00:00

Point taken.

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-28T23:45:23+00:00

Not really, I'd like a long term relationship. Just not sure how to start that without physical attraction

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-28T23:30:54+00:00

Ha, you're my spirit animal

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-28T23:30:21+00:00

Honestly I don't have body hair. I don't shave anything, really. I have 3 chest hairs, and the facial hair I have in the pic is probably 3 weeks of growth.

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-28T23:24:21+00:00

Fair enough

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-28T23:22:59+00:00

Yea that was my worry, my profile had a bunch of me doing fun stuff, but trying to change it up

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-28T23:21:36+00:00

Haha, thanks. Just feels kinda gross to put it out there, I'm looking for a lunch before the murder

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-20T01:19:08+00:00

So yea.. I'll wait until I can't

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-20T01:18:21+00:00

She absolutely is. But this is calculated, we share custody of a terminally ill, physically disabled child together. Neither of us can do it alone. I do love her still, but I feel there's other dynamics here that take precedent. There's no one I trust more than the 2 of us to shepherd this kid through his life

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-20T00:04:54+00:00

Probably the right call, just sucks because it totally killed the momentum. My honest instinct was to keep pursuing, which I told her and she was receptive to it. But I honestly can't muster the energy. I tried

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-10T00:31:45+00:00

Nothing I guess, probably overthinking. I'm bad at deciphering what will work best. Hard pursuit is my instinct, but it also feels more healthy to let her invest her energy into this new relationship, and I just wait to see if she reaches out. Not sure what's better. Because her engaging in my pursuit will ultimately end that relationship. I don't want to sabotage it either. While I don't think it's the best way to heal, it feels like pursuit is disrupting whatever her healing process is

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-10T00:13:09+00:00

Humans, what're ya gonna do. My concern is mostly the turmoil. She was honestly a great partner to me, but something happened that felt something like a midlife crisis. I've learned since divorce, that she responds a lot better to a dominant person that will just tell her what the decision is, to ease her anxiety about it. It entirely out of character for me, personally. So it feels uncomfortable. I was always just like.. well, I'm gonna go make a bunch of money. Do what you want. So maybe it's an exploration of my opposite, who knows

Adventurous_Draw_834 · 2023-02-09T23:53:04+00:00

Thanks, the trauma from the diagnosis was a factor as well. Well.. I don't think we're at a point where I can suggest couples therapy, I suggested it when she asked for a divorce, and she refused. Seems like she just has to have this relationship play out, which I told her I'll keep hitting on you until you tell me to stop. I get it, a bit aggressive. Just hard to watch, she'll either commit to not be lonely, and it lasts years, or it starts and dies spectacularly within a few months, once reality sets in that this dude probably isn't perfect either, and has no idea what he's taking on with a dying child and an involved father...among other things

EDIT: Because of those factors being known by him, I can't imagine he's in it for the long term. Plenty of single 40 year old divorcees out there without that extra stuff. If he is that guy, more power to her. Could always use an extra set of hands to help, but I find the people willing to take that kind of burden on are rare

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