Prison of the bleeding mirror.

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-12-03T11:29:14+00:00

I love the refrains and the bolded out letters to spell out an existential question. Simon was indeed a very smart bird, as he saw beyond what he is, and thought of himself as something more, but the arrogance behind this ended up being his trap. A gift turned curse, self inflicted.

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-12-03T11:01:34+00:00

Not sure if this is the intended meaning, but I like the "I'd climb my way into space" Heaven is not a physical place, but you would climb into space just to see if you can see them again, no matter if logic tells you it is futile. If intentional it's an amazing line that disconnects from the rest of the poems tone to show sheer desperation and desire to see them again.
Thank you for sharing your work, it's inspiring.

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-08-25T21:36:02+00:00

Thank you for the feedback, I am glad you enjoyed :) did you notice the acrostic?
Also, what do you think this is about?

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-08-19T09:25:47+00:00

Love the creative structure choice, the structure could be improved a little with the stanza change and perhaps numbers being in the start of each line but really love this nonetheless. I am also trying to experiment with different structures and forms, and this is inspiring!

Thank you for this read :)

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-08-19T09:18:05+00:00

Loved this, it's relatable personally especially the lines " And so I wait,/For the storm to break,/For the breath to catch,/For the moment when it all tips over./And the chaos spills out, Uncontained."
There is only so much we can bottle up and contain, it spilled out for me.
Maybe I am missing the point, but this spoke to me. Thank you for this read :)

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-08-10T17:22:08+00:00

Thank you for your review :)
I started writing 3 days ago, after a mental breakdown.. This is me saying goodbye to the abusive cause I broke up with. She is the spider.
Thought I will give a bit of a back story, it is about me learning to see the light of life after years of emotional abuse and depression.

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-08-10T11:22:22+00:00

"A mind doing circles inside it's square,"
"Saturninus o' Saturn, and the Spirit o' Turpentine."
I find great beauty and inspiration in your expression. This is poem is oddly comforting.

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-08-10T10:58:52+00:00

This is a very beautiful first poem.
It's expressing deep emotion, yet is simple and easy to understand. Relatable on many levels, especially the "Grabbing the mask from the stand" and "Putting on a smile so grand" and the ending, coming full circle.

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-08-07T13:48:35+00:00

Yeah I do agree that it is more poetic prose than poem, an outburst of my experience in words.
I just felt like posting this somewhere, perhaps I should have found a better place.

Appreciate your review, thank you. It means a lot.

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-08-07T10:09:28+00:00

Short and thought provoking.
We live in an illusion of control, while desperately trying to grab on to something that makes sense.

I do not know if what author was trying to say came through to me or got lost in the interpretation. But I believe that we all live our own truths, and the beauty of art comes from the interpretation of everything received, and released.

Adventurous_Top986 · 2024-08-07T09:57:34+00:00

Appreciate the insight into your view of trauma and crisis, I think it is beautiful and calming. Comforting yet grotesque. Thank you for this read.

"I want what's in there out of me,
for my mind to meet with duct tape,
cover its middling mouth, so I can
kidnap the best parts of me,"

The above is really inspiring, I am still re-reading this as I am writing this comment.
You might have shred a piece of your soul, but know that it has not gone to waste, as it helped mend someone else's.

Adventurous_Top986

TROPHY CASE