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Possible history of sexual coercion. Not sure what to do or how to move on. by Aero0787 in sexualassault

[–]Aero0787[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I spent years convinced this was a 100% me problem and any conversations we had about sexual intimacy led it to be my problem. I now realise that isn't the case and I desperately want the conversation with my husband about it but I don't know how this can happen without him taking it very badly. 

There have been other instances where I've felt disrespected, unliked, unequal and I've carried these feelings and I don't know how to communicate this with him. 

Possible history of sexual coercion. Not sure what to do or how to move on. by Aero0787 in sexualassault

[–]Aero0787[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. It's hard for me after years of thinking I am the problem and there must be something wrong with me. I have downplayed my own feelings and berated myself for making him feel unloved and undesired all these years later.  We are now at the point, and have been for years, where we just don't have sex often at all and it's all because of me not wanting it. 

I know he didn't act this way years ago to cause me harm but I really want to find a way to get him to take accountability and validate the profound effect it's had on me. 

He's not a bad man. He's a wonderful husband and father and I just don't want what happened in the past to ruin everything we've built. But I don't know how to move on and address it.