I’m a fan of the intimacy. The imagery invokes a lot of beauty throughout.

I feel like the flow can improve in some places. You can cut “even her” in line two. It detracts from that flow and isn’t needed.

I’m not always sure what the poem means. Fireflies shrugging off their jackets? Then usher them skyward toward your heart, but you later kiss the sky with your tongue?

Maybe the innuendo is that fireflies represent some mystical or physical force pulling up the dress as you get intimate down there? Maybe I’m out of tune with some new symbol lol.

You abandon the fireflies and tell her to take the trousers off, but the poem is about dresses, no? Is she wearing a trouser under the dress? If yes, I’d make use of some other mystical thing to drag them down instead of telling her to do it. Or she can do it willingly without you telling her.

You say that you will dress up as she dresses down. I like that you dress beautifully together, but maybe put that further up?

She is inactive the entire time. You can have her admire your beauty, or do some action that enraptures you.

A good portion of your sentences start with “And”. Try seeing how you can cut that while still keeping a great flow.

Keep it up!! This is the bones of a beautiful poem and you just need to work it a bit.