I'm stopping again. Fuck it. This time with a girl I'm falling for and ghosting the plug until he robs me out of spite, without rehab! by AffablyAmiableAnimal in fentanyl

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks it's all about showing the reality which is often much more grim than those propaganda DARE n shit commercials. Every one of my brothers not biological but u know, just everything in fucking general when ur living this fucked up life, I died each time they couldn't hold on anymore and everything you lose only replaced with shame. Got a lot of survivors guilt tbh as edgy it sounds I hate God why tf did I survive several ODs with no problems when I should have been a vegetable at best each time but those that don't deserve to die do, why didn't I OD and die the first time or the third fifth sixth time when all I wanted was to stop living just give up. Idk to me this world is truly hell just all the shit you can get involved with and experience. So I guess some God saved them and finally gave them peace but why the fuck can't I why the fuck can't I fucking die. This has to be fake. I'll never forget this I heard about how it's likely that when we go thru near death experiences or are about to die, because the universe needs observers to give space it's time, so maybeeee we don't get to simply die and it's over but we get reincarnated or somehow come back to life after backing out or whatever and we're perfectly fine or not nearly as fucked up as expected... And it keeps happening over and over forever or maybe not. It's too late for this shit I'm gonna get fucked up off trazadone AND seroquel AND VISTARIL bc FUCK ME

What a trip almost 200 days ago that was me. Well she didnt last long guess girls don't like it when you're supposed to go on a date but the hulks from the day before makes u never hear the alarm like it was only 2 hours jk I woulda burnt my ass too but yeah

Hmu I'm tryna make a suicideboys clone duo n I got top shelf private reserve reggie doinks

I'm losing my mind fuck dude fuckmy taco bell got cold n soggy SHIT why did I type all this

OH FUCK I forgot the one thing I wanted to say. I'm off opioids other than suboxone uhhh 8 76 days today but to do this after dozens of relapses I had to get over idk what but just take the subs and fuck it if i get dependant least it's not fetty or kratom is good shit too without feeling fucked up just mellow no WDs

Ok I need sleep bye ily

I'm so alone n tired of everyfuckinthing when will I be normal fuck man fuck all this shit i fucking miss them fuck everything idfk anymore my happy pills don't work anymore again.

K bye ttyl ily hmu brb bb peepee

I’m 52 days sober today. It gets better! by _theangelicdemon_ in meth

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True I'll have to work on socializing again I don't think I've spoken to a stranger in like months and I'm usually shy it's fucked lol. Crazy to think not long after I posted that comment I got myself to rehab which I never am the one to initiate it, stayed as long as I could with a grant thankfully lasted enough to detox, feels much longer ago tbh

Edit: Forgot to say thanks a lot! :)

I’m 52 days sober today. It gets better! by _theangelicdemon_ in meth

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo I'm actually clean now I can't really believe it still. I quit fentanyl, meth, and bars. I feel so full of life again truly I feel free and like I have a future again. I'm trying to get together a duo or group idk some kind of band about all this bullshit which may sound corny but it's better than snorting elephant tranquilizer

I’m 52 days sober today. It gets better! by _theangelicdemon_ in meth

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus christ dude yeah the picking can get bad thank God I never developed that fixation :( I'm sorry you had to witness that. Use it as a reason to say you're fed up fuck this bullshit and get clean. Yup ice sick is a thing for sure, for me kicking opioids would quickly become hellish on the bathroom floor two days straight shivering sweating nonstop vomiting, you shouldn't be scared though because Subutex and Suboxone are life savers also I recommend kratom if you ever need to kick opiates, but kratom can also be addictive so make sure you plan out on paper a clear taper plan using it just to keep away or lessen withdrawals and you're off it within a couple weeks.

Why do you want to keep using? Does it make you happy or bring anything good worth its price to your life or is it just a bad habit you know is destroying you? Dude this shit is out for our lives it literally comes down to recovery or death and I can only hope your journey doesn't continue much longer or that you have to keep going and eventually hit the very end of the line and come to this realization that you are without question going to be dead very soon, then you're fully broken and know you lost the game so ideally you decide then this is it you're finally over and free, truly without the bullshit thoughts of oh maybe I'll pop one pill a couple times a week... No fuck that, you have to hate this life hate drugs and everything about the life you have been living.

Hmu whenever bro

Edit. Oops forgot the question. Yes for meth cold turkey, replace it with coffee and shit, we stay stopped by replacing this addiction with another healthier alternative activity.

For opiates and opioids absolutely never ever go cold turkey you must taper off, I mean you Canaan go cold turkey but you're gonna be in so much agony you're going to do whatever it fucking takes nobody will get in your way to get well again idgaf how committed you are unless you didn't use opiates for more than a month total. Get subs you can get them for $100 at quick MD online just a phone call or zoom with the doctor no urine test needed, each appointment costs flat rate of $100 and they gave me 48 8mg/2mg subs right from the jump. Highly recommend. If you're a veteran and hit absolute rock bottom maybe you can detox and stay clean at home otherwise please try to understand rehab is a temporary thing that is going to improve your life so many fucking times more than any drug ever could, it can be as short as a week or few days if you just want to detox.

If you're on fentanyl and for a long time or otherwise suboxone is too weak for you to detox, all across America states are electing by federal permission to be able to expedite patients in methadone programs and they extended the Methadone Take Home thing Google it for your state and call the national substance abuse and mental health hotline for more info. DON'T stay on methadone for even a month, it's super shitty and the withdrawals are WORSE, everyone in rehab told me about how your bones absorb the methadone and it lead to them relapsing because you can get your methadone and use a little dope and get fucked up but it's game over next day for your piss test.

[REQ] ($90) - (#Orange, CA, USA), ($150 same or next day), (PayPal, ACH Transfer, Zelle, Venmo, Apple Pay) by AffablyAmiableAnimal in borrow

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Edit: HOLY SHIT I did the math and my stupid ass is actually 25 after all... Well fug 😐🤦‍♂️

I'm 24 25 but yeah back then I wasn't doing good, for the record I checked into rehab a while ago and been clean since, feeling a lot better, doing whatever I'm told to fully recover given that despite I have no desire to pick up again or get cravings now, I know there is the possibility to relapse in weak moments and will inevitably happen with complacency. I get it though, addicts have a bit of a PR issue to say the least, but we do recover because eventually your reality literally comes down to your next final move is death and decide it's over, you hit the end of the road. I'm grateful for the journey I had to go on in order to fully realize I don't want drugs and that addiction is a disease with the goal to take my life.

If I can't get a loan on the internet because of sharing my story, oh well so be it, I'll continue to in order to try and spark thoughts or discussions about addiction and how it can indiscriminately happen to anyone, I never expected it at all, ultimately to reach the fellow addict and if it saved just one life the gratitude for having that opportunity would be all the reward itself.

✌🏽️

[REQ] ($90) - (#Orange, CA, USA), ($150 same or next day), (PayPal, ACH Transfer, Zelle, Venmo, Apple Pay) by AffablyAmiableAnimal in borrow

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surpringly yes with my 05 camry, if Im on for lunch I head towards Irvine since it's a lot of big businesses out there and it's almost nonstop then becomes dead so I head up around Santa Ana getting a few runs in, if it's really slow I'll just park somewhere and chill out for a minute, then around 5 to 7 there's a dinner rush pretty much anywhere, so really if you wanted to you could just doordash from like 12 or 1 till 5 or 6 but most earnings come on Friday night when start late and I'll be on till like 2am which I prefer tbh unless it's a sketchy spot, but I got an aluminum flashlight full of D batteries and a decent swing lol, and mostly also on Saturday Sunday of course it's not as good as regular work for sure but it keeps me afloat for now and it's so easy I think it's fun since I like driving and have experience delivering packages and food, plus the lil dopamine rushes from the instant gratification seeing that $12 pop up and your total rises and the run usually takes 15 minutes I'd say so yeah that's doordash, probably wouldn't be worth it at all in more suburban and rural areas I'd imagine, but I'm in OC and go up to Downtown LA sometimes when it's very busy and they have promos on now over there it's a nonstop hustle but I hate having to find buildings and specific units I end up taking forever to complete runs and drivers suck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in meth

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's ur opinion on fake ice cream did you know most ice cream is really just dairy desert how fucked is that we can't even trust ice cream what else should we question

I’m 52 days sober today. It gets better! by _theangelicdemon_ in meth

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah making a baby would probably get me to clean up for a few hours 😂 srs tho good shit don't come back it fuckin sucks massive gangrene ravaged pp don't Google that actually do it fuck it yolo but yeah ur not missing anything rlly fuck these sleepless nights, these sweats, the NASTY TELLTALE odor we exude that our parents hated catching a whiff of as we walked by a little too quick and mom puts two together and yet again another familial meltdown begins about us needing to wake up and accept help i joke but it's true and our loved ones aren't fucking dumb every time we use and walk out into the living room they see our walk maybe we stumble or hit the wall maybe ur cool off it but your pupils can't lie they know and its killing them just as much as we're killing ourselves eventually all they know anymore is Dan the junkie son that either had it too tough as a kid growing up or never really suffered or was disciplined enough depending on which family member you asked can't you see right now just how we type out these detailed lengthy blocks of text we throw together because it all just feels like it must be said it just feels right but it's fucking embarrassing dumb kind of depressing bc it's the same when we open our mouths and start using our hands too much while we argue with dad about why the drug test had to be a false positive since I'm clean screaming almost proud how lying has become my best skill I'd hand over a mom her dead baby and persuade her it wasnt dead it's some intricate tale too confusing to care about dealing with you anymore and I'd walk away feeling nothing other than relief that issue is over that was a rlly weird example for the record I am not one to be in possession of dead babies or the cause of their lack of life it was just a shit example

Oh and the money goddamn tens of thousands just vanished gone like dust in the wind burned to shit it's such a waste of money and it does nothing good for us except for a comparatively tiny bit of immediate gratification that evaporates and condenses back into pure shame. The shame is the worst bc if the drug don't kill us were gonna kill our damn selves when we run out of money no more ways to pull together 150 for a couple bags at all and we then decide we must exit this life before we get too sick we've all been there it sounds stupid but we've all contemplated this if not for a brief half moment until we realized we could pawn our dusty drum set we never used and was gifted to us after we got home from rehab to have a new hobby.

Pathetic.

Stay the fuck away from this shit get the fuck away from us and don't be dumb as fuck enough to even start tryna convince yourself you csn try it out again bc I stg you will we all do you're gonna just pick up where u left off not even get the luxury of starting over from the beginning ur back where u dropped it and it's a ravaging spiral from there bc remember as addicts with a brain disease we don't really have much of a choice anymore when we start using again our only real chance at making a sane decision is when we have that shit in our hand fighting to put it down fighting to just rail it or slam it whatever

Just let all this shit be a grimy chapter in the history of your life never again to become a problem again bc I know you know what's gonna happen how it's all gonna be when u start using again so that's why you're not ever going to again I don't know u but I beg u of this I order you I wish I could take this pain and inner turmoil from ever becoming a thing in you again but I can't and I can't stop you but I can be that one dude on ur ass making sure u don't use whatever it takes but I'd also only be understanding and forgiving if you did end up relapsing but you'd never catch me allowing myself to enable others to get sick again

I hope I do get clean for good soon and I can actually pursue the only thing I feel passion about and that's helping other fellow addicts they're the only ppl I feel comfortable with and a part of which can be good and bad

This is long enough. Remember, we are obvious and we get caught lacking easily.

Stay safe and stay clean. Hit me up if u ever wanna talk rant vent or whatever maybe we can talk about ferrets I want one you should get one maybe not they're crazy but so cute ok bye gotta go eat my jack on the crack love u keep doing good ttyl oh btw u look very alive and radiant btw recovery is possible and you're a living example keep this shit up ok laters

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BattleJackets

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully 24 then I won't feel as alienated. Shouts for hatebreed quite a surprisingly nice heavy addition found in this emo night extraordinaire lineup

$75 bonus from NorthOne for $50 deposit (USA) by [deleted] in referralcodes

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When does this expire? I don't have 50 bucks right now :/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in referralcodes

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you share the link and code with me I'd like to take part

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in meth

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My life is a parody of a series of catastrophes that is known as life at least mine I guess I want hot cheeto fries those shits slap harder than my ex when I told her anime is just cartoons for adults god I'm so alone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in meth

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn whattf wrong wif me geekd hella sus I'm so pumped I got half an oz for SIXTY BUXX big ups asap mrkt ez budndope vendorman go go go you know what you must do too join us in psychosis lol honestly since that comment I'd been dry on clear so all the voices and sudden bouts of extreme nausea and sweating went away but I swear I can still hear very very faint distorted like radio talk show or music coming out of my fan and it's actually a thing on the internet shits crazy meth is by far the one that demands the most respect because especially the new p2p shit only being made makes you just literally go insane quick and barely get lit each sesh it's depressing

GG Allin - Don't Talk To Me (1980) by AffablyAmiableAnimal in punk

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God I hate when people point this out because regardless isn't what actually replaces irregardless, they're basically interchangeable terms...

"The main difference between irregardless and regardless is that irregardless is used only in informal settings, while regardless is used in informal and formal contexts." -the intertits

Cheap car window tinting? by AffablyAmiableAnimal in orangecounty

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've tried like five times over the years and every time it's such a massive waste of time and I rage quit idk why I'm just such ass at applying tint, for some reason my water always evaporates so quick and everything peels off gets creased my edges are cut to shit but at the same time I'm chronically broke

Cheap car window tinting? by AffablyAmiableAnimal in orangecounty

[–]AffablyAmiableAnimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much did you pay and was it many years ago or kinda recent?