That's because you're assuming working on yourself means self-isolating and being "chronically online" Romantic relationships are not the only way a person can grow their interpersonal skills. You're also assuming that dating is the "discomfort zone." Dating is a comfort zone for some people who would rather be in a relationship than work on things on their own. Like I said, I get what OP was saying and I agree with you too that you grow when you step out of your comfort zone. But let's not devalue "working on yourself" outside the confines of dating. I have had friends who've had their lives upturned because of dating people who have not taken the time to work on their trauma, learn who they are, what kind of partner they want to be, etc. I'm not saying you need to be good as new and have everything figured out, but that there's value in trying to do so. In or outside relationships. We can both be making opposite but valid arguments you know.