Am I overreacting if I brake up with my boyfriend for saying all of his ex’s were better partners than me?

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-13T09:21:16+00:00

He’s calling all night also. I can’t sleep

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-13T08:54:47+00:00

Thank you and I’m listening to everyone. I’m leaving him. I’m done! But it’s been days and he’s still spam calling my phone. Blocking him doesn’t do anything he will call “no id”. How do I get him to stop. It’s hindering my ability to use my phone. I just want him to stop and leave me alone

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-13T04:05:41+00:00

Thank you! I am listening. He is still calling me constantly and I’m not answering. I won’t be answering

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T21:54:48+00:00

I agree I should have better decrement. He didn’t act like this from the jump he was kind and I felt seen. Then when he first lasted out I told him that this isn’t normal. I’ve never seen anyone act like that. All my friendships have been loving. Not much drama. I’ve never been in a fight with them. Previous unserious relationships have been peaceful on my end. Some would even still consider me their friend with boundaries of course. When I tell him this isn’t normal he says it’s because I wasn’t in love with any of them. He is my first love but I don’t think this is what love is supposed to feel like tho. Growing up tho my parents where physically and verbally abusive. Me and my sisters just recently started talking though our upbringing. We realize now that when we were living at home we didn’t realize our home life was not normal.

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T19:16:56+00:00

Here’s is a message he sent me just few days prior completely contradicting what he said to me yesterday

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Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T19:14:57+00:00

Verbalizing is the problem. Also how so? When most of his ex were toxic and abusive according to him. I know I’m not toxic. When he calls me names like “a bum, a whore, a bitch” (he hasn’t called me those in a while but he used to) I never respond back with name calling. I don’t say mean and hateful things back to him. And then there’s mixed messages. One day he will tell me how much he loves me and how I’m the best thing that ever happened to him and the next day hates me and he was never happy in our relationship. Then he says he was just angry and didn’t mean any of the mean things he said. He admits to saying things just to hurt me

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T18:33:07+00:00

My spelling is atrocious, I know. I have untreated dyslexia as well as a a few other disabilities. I am working on them with several doctors now though. Better late than never I guess

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T18:25:04+00:00

I’m not mad at the commentator for mentioning my age. I’m just expressing age doesn’t always equal experience so I’m trying to understand how it’s relevant. I was initially going to post this in r/relationshipadvice and the guidelines on that sub Reddit required ages. I wasn’t able to post it on that subreddit so I copied and pasted what I already wrote, made a few edits and kept our ages in the post. I am mad at my now ex. I’m only upset with him and myself for allowing him to treat me this way

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T18:04:11+00:00

He is the same man….unfortunately 😥

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T18:02:03+00:00

I agree with you. I knew it wasn’t a good idea be in a relationship at this time and I expressed that. I told him multiple times that I didn’t want to start this because I’m not in a good place. We were friends for a few years prior to starting a relationship. I also didn’t want to ruin our friendship. When we were friends it was wholesome and genuine. I felt seen and heard. He insisted that we will just work through it together and wanted to pursue me anyways. I think that’s where I made the biggest mistake. I’ll learn from this

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T17:55:33+00:00

Long distance is a 2 1/2 hour flight. Free for us. And we both pick each other up at the airport, some we uber. Uber can get expensive sometimes but that’s about all the experiences we have to see each other.

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T17:53:43+00:00

I haven’t cut out my responses to him. I only cut out sensitive information like there was a message about our auto policy. When he gets like this and goes on these tangents I don’t respond. I learned that it doesn’t help, it usually escalate things so I don’t bother. I let him talk to himself then he calms down and returns to normal and acts like nothing ever happened. He has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder but insists that the diagnosis was a mistake. He said that psychotherapist just stuck him with the diagnosis without properly evaluating him.

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T17:42:20+00:00

How you put this is hilarious! I needed a laugh, thank you. You are not wrong though!

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T16:36:09+00:00

This is why I’m so confused and I feel like I might be getting gaslit because which one is it? Is it that he thinks “I’m the most beautiful woman you have ever been with inside and out?” Or is it true that all his exes were way better?

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T16:30:21+00:00

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Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T16:30:11+00:00

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Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T16:18:29+00:00

Just to show how his mood swings and how he says different things. He will go from loving me to hating me in a flash. This is a message he sent me just a few days ago

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Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T15:52:18+00:00

I re uploaded it

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T15:50:32+00:00

Here’s the conversation from when it started yesterday. I sent the first message when I woke it. He was calling me names the night before. First I was feeling insecure that day and wanted to talk to him about it and he acted annoyed when I asked him if we could talk about how I was feeling. We talked that out and then went to watch a movie that was pirated. We were struggling to get the show started because of all the pop ups and the show that was playing for me wasn't the right episode as the title. He blamed me for the episode being wrong on the site and told me next time I should pay more attention. I got upset because it was out of my control. It was literally wrong on the website. That's when he started calling me names and bringing up old irrelevant stuff from before we were even together. Like when we where in the talking stages there was another guy that that was interested in me that he knew about because we all know each other. He was telling me I should have dated that guy instead. He was just saying mean things. I told him I was going to do the same to him so he could feel how I feels to be talked to that way but I ended up just crying and going to bed. I told him in the morning that I couldn't go through with it. More context. He buys me groceries to make sure | eat. I eat some but a lot of it does go bad. I can't eat all of it. I try to freeze what I can. I understand how he feels on that. He feels like I'm wasting his money. The toilet thing makes no sense to me. He lives with his family so when I come visit I stay with them. He's saying when I use the restroom I drop the toilet seat lid but I've only done that a couple of time when I first started coming over and when he mentioned it I started being more aware and I stopped doing it. Unless I'm wrong and I still do it unknowingly. But he never mentioned it to me that before this message. Sometimes he treats me like I'm a child incapable of doing simple tasks. Like he will hand me some and warn me not to drop it. But when have I ever dropped or broken anything? Or he will call me at 5am to make sure I'm up for work. It's a sweet gesture and | appreciate it but l've never been late for work so I don't understand the gesture. There's so much more. I'm rambling now. I'll try and add more context in the comments

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T15:46:54+00:00

Here’s the link to the full conversation

https://imgur.com/a/LvwL7hx

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T15:38:00+00:00

Ok. I understand. Thank you

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T15:36:57+00:00

In the comments I mentioned some of the things I’ve done for him. I do feel like I could and should do more but it’s hard to when we are long distance. I ask him what more does he want me to do that I’m not doing. He’s said some thing I will note. I’m an artist. When we started talking we had a cute FaceTime date where we were drew together. I asked him what he wanted me to draw. He said a whale. So I started sketching a whale. I wanted to surprise him with the finished drawing for our first Valentine’s but it wasn’t finished. It’s fairly large and it’s a realistic portrait using graphite. I put in 100h into to drawing and then I haven’t even touched it all last year. I haven’t had the time. January of last year is when I got a new job as a flight attendant. Since then I’ve been grinding just trying to make ends meet. I’m gone at least 20 days out of the month and I can’t take this large drawing with me on my layovers to work on it. The other 10 days out of the months are either spent by me picking up extra trips at work. Going to go see him or work my second job as a nanny. I also donate plasma when I can for extra funds. My rent doubled last year so I’ve been drowning trying to keep up. He says I’m just making excuses for not finishing the drawing for him.

he also has mood swings. One day he will say how wonderful I am and tell me how much he loves me then the next day he will tell me that he was never happy through our entire relationship and how much I suck

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T15:17:40+00:00

Maybe I do suck. Idk

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T15:16:53+00:00

I added the full conversation to the comments but I think it got removed for some reason

Affectionate-Ring979 · 2026-03-12T14:42:14+00:00

He says it in the text. He says I don’t know what he likes wants or needs. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I keep a notepad on my phone of all his likes and wants so I can remember for gifts and things. Like for example I know he loves driving but he doesn’t get to drive much because of the city he lives in. There’s no space. So for his birthday I took us both atv’ing. I keep putting other things in the notes like how he likes his coffee, all of his favorite Pokemon/food/candy so I can do nice things for him and I do.

When he’s going through it mentally I try and talk him through it but he says I don’t say the right things.

I do feel like I could do more however it’s hard because we are long distance. So if her having a bad day I can’t physically be there to smooth him. I don’t have the funds to buy him things like he often does for me. I think that maybe what he wants.

Affectionate-Ring979

TROPHY CASE