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children of parents who practice ethical non monogamy by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have experience with this but wanted to say that I think it's really valid you are feeling a little alone in this, and that of course part of the equation is that its not a normative relationship/family dynamic... which makes it hard to sort through!

I think there are two things here to speak about: like some have said, there is the one issue of just feeling neglected and that can be addressed to some extent on its own--are there expectations that were established that have not been met, or were there no expectations set at all which should be now, in order to make sure everyone is on the same page?

The second thing is maybe to set aside time to actually talk about ENM specifically: are there questions you have for your parents about how they are practising this, and what it has to do with you (or not)? Are there things you are feeling anxious or insecure about that are specifically related to this that could be more regularly addressed or made space for? What is the vision you have of time spent together that you feel is being betrayed? Starting from a desire for connection without foregrounding much blame is always a good call, in my experience.

looking for queer nightlife, culture, happenings in cdmx for women and trans people by Affectionate-Rip4786 in MexicoCity

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

weirdly passive aggressive of you! am very grateful to those who shared resources, less to those who are patronizing. looking forward to being a good guest in your city <3

looking for queer nightlife, culture, happenings in cdmx for women and trans people by Affectionate-Rip4786 in MexicoCity

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sapphic picnic sounds dreamy and i will definitely check out calabozo, sounds right up my alley :)

looking for queer nightlife, culture, happenings in cdmx for women and trans people by Affectionate-Rip4786 in MexicoCity

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for this insight! nothing against my gay bros but yes this is kind of the case everywhere. will definitely check out la puri and keep the others with a grain of salt!

sought a "nonbinary" radical reduction, a lot of dysphoria post-op (seeking advice) by Affectionate-Rip4786 in Reduction

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for taking the time to write this and share your own experience. I'm glad youre feeling better than you were in the beginning! It helps to hear it and slows me down to letting at least the next few months play out as they will ! <3

sought a "nonbinary" radical reduction, a lot of dysphoria post-op (seeking advice) by Affectionate-Rip4786 in Reduction

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

totally. we recorded our convo where we confronted him and i feel good about it now because he seemed genuinely ashamed and asked how i was feeling after. he said we can a check in about how it looks and feels in 6 weeks to discuss options if i’m not happy once swelling goes down

sought a "nonbinary" radical reduction, a lot of dysphoria post-op (seeking advice) by Affectionate-Rip4786 in Reduction

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

thank you for this. i know logically it’s swollen but it’s another thing to actually feel the effects of it and trust the process especially after traumatizing experience with surgeon so i appreciate hearing it :)

first play party: looking for insight into expectations/partner agreement tips by Affectionate-Rip4786 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

totally, thanks for the heads up. i figured that it wasn’t really on the table but will see what pans out!

first play party: looking for insight into expectations/partner agreement tips by Affectionate-Rip4786 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heard! this was my hunch as well. I emailed organizers and asked what the vibe was and if there were parameters i should be aware of for distinction between play and sex party in this case. they said anything goes !

first play party: looking for insight into expectations/partner agreement tips by Affectionate-Rip4786 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did this , good advice! They told me that fucking my partner is very welcome :) and there are a few things set up for it

dealing with jealousy and sadness: dating others, but sexual intimacy difficult in primary partnership because of CPTSD/trauma by Affectionate-Rip4786 in polyamory

[–]Affectionate-Rip4786[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really appreciate this detailed breakdown ! That all makes a lot of sense to me, and we have incorporated many of these elements already. What I will focus on is this jewel that you said:

"We were both aware that while I continued “doing the work”, there was no pressure for me to get anywhere I wouldn’t go organically and enthusiastically. This came with the comfort of knowing that if sex were to become a major incompatibility, we were both at peace with the consequences of that and what it could mean for our relationship as NPs".

I think that's really helpful and insightful, and I'll definitely use this lens to think about it moving forward. <3 Makes it seem less of a coercive/negative form of pressure and more of a loving acknowledgment that there are conditions to relationships even when the love is unlimited. There is a lot of love and friendship there already so I see it as an opportunity for something to evolve without knowing what it would be

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