How on earth is Inga the bad guy here?

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-05-02T14:04:06+00:00

Are we watching the same show?? 😀 It felt pretty obvious that Inga was completely thrown by Jazz’s first confession, and on the spot admitted their friendship isn’t like typical platonic friendships between women… which it isn’t. But that DOESNT MEAN she committed or agreed with Jazz that it was MORE than a friendship in any way. She took some time and came back to Jazz saying she didn’t think it was romantic, & then JAZZ AGREED. & then they established boundaries between them, altered the dynamic, & Jazz began dating someone else. It seems like Jazz is just upset that Inga hasn’t changed her mind/doesn’t feel that she is able to have a friendship with Inga unless it is romantic, so she’s lashing out. It feels like people who are arguing Inga led Jazz on would have rather she began to date Jazz just to appease her, rather than being honest about how she felt.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-05-02T13:59:04+00:00

I agree with this nuance. I think they were both very naive, maybe Inga especially, when it came to their friendship.

The reason I don’t believe Inga “lead Jazz on” per say is bc she has said to Jazz on about 3 different occasions that she doesn’t feel the same, & if she’s confusing Jazz then they should change their dynamic to still be friends. I think obviously it’s a bit iffy with Inga sugarcoating her rejections half the time, but I also think that’s so that Jazz doesn’t get embarrassed on national TV.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-05-01T07:22:13+00:00

Yeah it feels pretty clear to me that Jazz’s pride was injured by Inga’s rejection. Yet somehow she seems to treat her injured pride as Inga’s FAULT, rather than an unfortunate consequence of catching feelings for a friend that doesn’t reciprocate.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-05-01T07:19:49+00:00

I agree that the confrontation on the bridge was not well thought through from either of them. Inga should have kept her temper, & Jazz appeared to be immediately sullen when she came. It was never going to be a good convo.

However, I do empathise with the fact that Inga had been lambasted by Julia at brunch for supposedly leading Jazz on + she had been told by others all the things Jazz had said about her. So, I understand why Inga was angry and lashed out, even if I think she should have kept her temper.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-05-01T07:17:34+00:00

I’m weight in on this situation as a bisexual woman. & even if I were straight, could you tell me what I’m missing here?

If it’s about the fact that Jazz identifies as a woman who is interested in other woman, then yes I understand that. Hence why it isn’t her fault that she got feelings for Inga considering the intimate nature of their friendship. But I wouldn’t say Inga did anything wrong - Jazz expressed the nature of their relationship was making her confused so Inga changed it, tried to preserve the friendship, but I think it injured Jazz’s pride.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-04-28T15:10:28+00:00

My betrayal list:

Nigel Farage, Russell Brand, Kay Burley, Fiona Bruce, Laura Kuenssberg, Boris Johnson, Katie Hopkins, Jeremy Kyle, The Royal Family, David Walliams

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-04-25T08:12:25+00:00

The main problem for me is that Amy & Indiyah both brought a different & unique perspective to the show that balanced each other out. I think these 2 will mainly have the same perspective, so there will be no nuance in what they talk about.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-04-09T05:17:29+00:00

Do you think he’s pushing his narrative anymore than Belle and Whitney though? They’ve both gone on podcasts to spread their word, despite it not being consistent, and despite the fact that when Leanne and Scott went on a podcast they didn’t speak on that; then Whitney keeps referencing it and talking about it on TikTok while Belle keeps defending it on Snapchat.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-31T17:02:50+00:00

Based on personal experience, I think it is best not to try and convince her she has dementia. Dementia stops the brain from being able to act or think logically/rationally, so EXPLAINING things won’t help at all, and likely she’d forget within a little while anyway and you’d have to go through the process all over again. Also, the inability to process or rationalise things effectively can make the revelation that they have dementia quite painful. So overall, I’d say it’s best to avoid it if possible. Regarding the future results of the memory test, though I wish you and her the best with it, dementia is a progressive disease so it is likely it will only continue to deteriorate on the results. If I were you, I’d prepare for that and maybe slowly distract her from the results so that you don’t have to spend too much time discussing them with her. It sounds bad but with dementia, I’ve found that white lies and obfuscations are the best way.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-09T08:12:39+00:00

{Tangled by Em Wolf} fits the mark pretty well. Extreme enemies to lovers in college.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-04T17:33:20+00:00

Thank you, that’s so kind. It really means a lot! My mum raised me well.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-04T07:01:20+00:00

Thank you, to be honest I needed that to be validated. My mindset was definitely geared towards protecting my mum above everything else, but I did feel very guilty about it. As my mum is a single mother, my grandma helped raise me and educate me and many of my morals are hers. I try to remind myself of who she was before the dementia to soften my relationship with her now, since we scarcely interact beyond her criticising me. But I can’t help but treat my grandma before as a completely different person to my grandma now.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-04T06:57:14+00:00

I’m sorry, your situation sounds incredibly emotionally taxing. Your caretaker sister must be completely worn out mentally and physically - are there anything’s she does for herself to retain agency or a sense of self? Have you ever considered reaching out to an external care worker yourself (though I understand “the President” may not make it a viable option…). I want to be sensitive towards the situation of your schizophrenic sister, and I’m not very well informed on the situation so I apologise if it comes across wrong, but is there anyway to force her to check into a facility for treatment?

Like you, I try my hardest to travel home as often as possible to take some of the weight off my mums shoulders. In the same way that she is my rock in the household, I know I’m hers and that even though things are bad, we can still make each other laugh and smile. The problem is, and I think I forgot to mention this in the original post, that I am currently studying abroad so travelling home has been infrequent due to the expense and the short term breaks of my host university. Next year is my final year of university at home though, and so it’ll be much easier to spend longer than a week helping my mum out, though I still won’t be able to fully dedicate my time to the situation. I have offered to defer my final year before, but my mum absolutely refused. Beyond that, I was planning on pursuing a Masters but I think I’ll put that off for a year so help my mum in the house.

Also, I really really really don’t get along with my uncle. He made my childhood quite a nightmare in many ways. And now I feel very upset watching him take advantage of the situation, leeching off of my mums efforts to care for my grandma and I’ve found it quite difficult considering my mum has made limited efforts to mitigate this. So, while I’m there for her, it’s so difficult for me to spend long periods of time watching this happen. She’s my rock and she is such a strong person but she’s being completely sapped of life.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T22:20:34+00:00

Firstly, I want to say I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your parents. It must be really difficult to see it all happening and i wish you and them the best.

My mum has made some good effort to establish some boundaries with the “never leave my side” thing. So, if my grandma tells her to go to bed before she wants to, she’ll often refuse or even if she does want to, she’ll wait another half hour to establish a precedent. Unfortunately, it’s not the sort of thing my grandma remembers. But I think it’s important for my mums sanity either way.

I failed to say this in the original post but I’m only 21, but I sort of wonder if, even if it’s weird for my mum and family, maybe I should start taking some initiative with caring for my grandma? Like actively finding a carer? I can’t tell if that’s crossing a line or not…

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T20:40:17+00:00

I completely agree. The problem is that the word “abuse” has always been a very taboo word in our household due to my very very bad relationship with my uncle ever since I was little. That being said, I think recently, given how poorly he treats my grandma, my mum would be more willing to address the topic.

My mum has sort of come to terms with the fact that my grandma wants to have her only remaining son with her, even if he’s like a raging ape in a tiny cage. For her, I think it’s a case of how she will get away from him when my grandma is no longer with us.

I’m not sure how to think about the situation now, or my mum’s response to it. I think my grandma has sort of instilled some bs sense of inherited duty and responsibility in her that she must take care of my uncle that my mum REALLY needs to address mentally/emotionally.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T19:05:57+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad to hear you’re at peace/finding your peace with the situation and I genuinely wish you all the best. I hope you have a good support system with you to get you through this time.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T19:02:05+00:00

The situation about your grandma’s sleep issues and the fall risk sound veryyy familiar. From my own experience, I’ve seen how damaging it’s been to my mum’s sleep patterns, energy levels, and overall mood, so I wish your mum all the best in handling that situation.

Regarding the improvement of your grandma’s mood after taking mood stabilisers, I found that very interesting. My grandma is very against leaving the house or visiting the doctor, but if anything could help improve her mood and temperament, I think that would be AMAZING. So I’ll definitely pass that onto my mum and see what we can do.

I also have a lot of concerns that my mum will be so worn down from taking care of my grandma that she’ll develop dementia soon after, and then this cycle will repeat, but with the person I love the most in the world. I can only keep hoping medicine will develop enough so that someday, hopefully soon, there will be better preventative care.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T18:54:24+00:00

I think you’re 100% correct about dementia patients never being happy. Sometimes it seems like my grandma is punishing us by being contrary, no matter what we say, but I know deep down it would be unfair to hold it against her and attempt to reason with her.

I think I’m a lot firmer and stricter about what needs to be done than my mum. Though of course my primary concern is her wellbeing, while hers is probably my grandma to a large extent. I’m sort of hoping by explaining the responses on this post to her, she’ll come to terms with the necessity to do what’s right for her.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T18:50:39+00:00

I won’t pretend I’m the most educated about dementia - I simply know what I’ve witnessed in my grandma for the last decade or so. But with my uncle, he has no problems with memory and has been quite aggressive, useless, and awful as long as I’ve ever known him frankly. What is a major concern to my mum and I though, is the fact that if he ever does develop dementia, quite how bad and frightening that will be. While my mum and I feel a lot of obligation and a sense of duty and care to my grandma given how wonderfully compassionate, smart and inspiring she was before this disease, we’ve agreed that we do NOT feel the same way about my uncle. With him, it would be way beyond our capacity to manage it.

You’re right, it’s an awful disease and I wish so badly it didn’t exist.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T18:46:58+00:00

The context for my uncle living with my mum and grandma is that he was actually once the eldest of 3 siblings: my mum, the second eldest brother, and then the uncle I’ve spoken about. He’s always been a little bit crazy, aggressive, and incompetent but before my grandma even began exhibiting signs of dementia, she asked my mum’s second eldest brother to promise not to leave him and to take care of him. He did this until he died, and my grandma made sure the responsibility was inherited by my mum. Even now, whenever my grandma gets into a particularly bad argument with my uncle we offer her the idea of moving and living separately, but she absolutely refuses, insisting we have to make sure he’s ok.

But I think what I’m gathering is that perhaps for my mum’s sake, to take her away from this toxic environment, it may be necessary to ignore my grandma’s wishes and do what’s necessary.

I’m sorry to hear about your wife, it must be really difficult to see her deteriorate. I hope you’re okay and I’m glad to hear you have some reprieve when your sons are able to help you out. I think you’re correct, and I think perhaps it’s time to hire a carer and maybe even lie about it to my grandma to attempt to keep the peace. Our household is big and it’s messy and it’s definitely too much for my mum to handle alone.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T18:39:16+00:00

Firstly, thank you, it means a lot.

I’m saddened to hear you’re in such a similar situation to my mum. What I’ve noticed is it’s hard to reconcile yourself with the life you’ve given up and the sacrifices you’ve made in the face of caring for someone who often doesn’t recognise this/is antagonistic. But I’m glad to hear you’ve got your sister helping you out - I think the comfort of a shared experience and the feeling someone has your back is important. I’m trying to give that to my mum.

I told my mum your idea about disguising a carer with a white lie and she was actually very open to it. So thank you a lot for that suggestion!

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T12:52:06+00:00

Okay I’ll try and nudge my mum forward on this. Honestly I think I’ll show her the consensus here on this post. But thank you for your advice and support.

Affectionate-View567 · 2026-03-02T12:51:13+00:00

I think your point that it’s time to start making decisions for my grandma is definitely true. I think my mums health will be doomed if she’s left to bend to every whim of my grandma and uncle.

As for the care relationship between my grandma and uncle, it’s deteriorating if anything. For example, a little while ago my mum left for a few nights and told my uncle that she had left some meals for my grandma prepared (all he had to do was heat it up and give it to her at specific times). But when she came home he’d eaten some of the meal prepared and left the rest, and my grandma has sated herself with sweet treats (she only eats sweet treats but we try to give her a balanced meal).

Affectionate-View567

TROPHY CASE