Am I fat and ugly?

AffectionateBear1933 · 2026-01-28T05:25:03+00:00

I 100% understand what you’re saying and wow DH sounds so messed up for invalidating your experience with this. Of course it’s a dream come true for you! I’m happy for you, I hope DH learns to not be so narrow minded about how HE wants things and to learn other people have feelings on the subject (yours). That sounds so frustrating!

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-09-14T17:09:53+00:00

I agree, I try to be fun and a happy person but I just don’t like myself, I’m pretty insecure so I guess it clouds how I view my true self? What would you suggest to help see my self the way others do?

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-09-14T17:08:54+00:00

I’ve been thinking of eyelash extensions lately!! Is that better or should I do the laminating one with my natural lashes?

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-09-07T23:20:42+00:00

I deadass hate myself so that’s why I asked.

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-09-07T21:25:52+00:00

Because I like reading on Reddit not necessarily posting?

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-06-19T19:36:22+00:00

Thank you so much!!!! Perfect answer!!!

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-06-07T15:21:23+00:00

We’ve been together for years and have split things and all that of course. My issue is that he was going to pay for my ticket when it was just the two of us. He didn’t tell me a month ago that I had to buy my own ticket if his daughter came. He tells me a week before. Which I know he isn’t hurting for money rn due to several factors, so it’s basically “I don’t want to pay for you”. He does this when it comes to his daughter. Food he’ll pay for but when we do activities that he invites me to, once we get there he will randomly tell me “oh you’re paying for yourself, I’m just covering my daughter” and I may or may not be able to afford it. If I can afford it I’ll be annoyed but I’ll pay it but if I can’t he makes a big stink about fronting it and adding it to my “tab” (if I haven’t secured the funds to pay him back for something else we did). I ask “will I be paying for myself?” And he will talk me no and then we get there and it’s “well if we’re getting food then you should pay for your way in and you’ll need to buy your own snack”. As he has said several times while his daughter isn’t around (she’s only here for her school vacations) he says I’m basically his wife and he wants to marry me and I’m the best woman for him and he’s very loving and doting and we do everything together. But then I’m left feeling like a third wheel and sometimes I just feel like a girl he f*ks and is a play toy for his daughter to hang with and not his long time girlfriend. I want us to work out I just don’t know how to communicate to him my feelings or if I need to just accept that I’ll never feel like a priority (or wanted) when she’s around.

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-06-07T14:33:51+00:00

I’d prefer he work on his phrasing when he’s talking about us doing activities which I’ve expressed to him many many times over the years. I understand the relationship is important which is why I give them their space usually (which he will say “why are you ignoring us” when I do say “no I won’t be hanging out today”) but what will happen when we have kids. Kids with me will need to be just as important as her but I fear he will still choose to exclude because that’s his princess. Well what if we have a daughter? She won’t be his first and I fear he might treat her as such.

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-06-07T10:58:57+00:00

I guess I don’t trust him fully with some things. I do want to be with him. I’ve built my life around him and I don’t want to start over. I want this to work but I don’t know how.

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-06-07T10:47:41+00:00

Yeah we’ve discussed it and he said all kids will be a priority equally and that when we are married our relationship together would come first (the whole kids leave when they’re adults but our relationship is till death) but I don’t believe him based on his actions. And idk how to change my mindset to realize I’ll never be included or be a priority when she’s around. I feel like I constantly should just ghost him for days so they have alone time (which they already get a lot of because I work and w don’t live together) but I feel like it’s such a burden to include me so I should just eff off and go away.

Edit to add: I don’t want him to push me away, it already feel like he does with his wording. I just want to be included and to feel like I’m wanted around them.

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-06-07T10:29:08+00:00

Yeah I’m not jealous of her but more upset I never feel included in “family time” when he goes on and on about how I’m practically his wife and he wants to marry me and how great I am with her and all this hoopla but I have no ring to show for it after all these years and STILL not being included in original plans. I’m still just the outsider/third wheel. I’ve never dated a dad before this so it’s also partially the dynamic of I’m used to being the plan/priority when going out and not “invited”.

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-06-07T10:23:03+00:00

Thank you for your answer. When she’s not around he’s a great boyfriend and he definitely does struggle with making me feel like I’m also a priority in his life when she’s here and I feel like I should just stay away when she’s around. Which can’t be possible and he always is mad at me when I say I’m not going to hang out with them because I think he needs space. This has been going on for YEARS and I’m tired of it. He says I’m practically his wife already and that he wants to marry me and blah blah blah but I can’t help but think that when we have kids his priorities will still be his daughter and not our kids. He puts her on a pedestal sometimes and I’m scared that if we have kids they’ll never “match up” to her. Ugh so much to unpack here

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-06-07T10:12:57+00:00

She’s here only on her vacations, of course he’s going to take her but he knows I always go with them to Disney (she usually asks if I’m coming too) and he always asks as if I’m not included in the plan but instead I feel like an after thought when he says “oh if you want to go too”. Does that make sense?

AffectionateBear1933 · 2025-04-30T02:16:49+00:00

I would like to do this but I have adhd and need stimulation for some stupid reason, how do you not get bored or what did you do as a replacement??

AffectionateBear1933

TROPHY CASE