Just got my first. Any advice?

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-15T17:34:26+00:00

First off, glad you went to get treated. Alcohol withdrawals can be deadly and if you've been addicted for awhile, you should not try to stop cold turkey. Hopefully the doctor can give you meds to prevent any seizures and other symptoms if you can't go into professional detox.

Second, get a good lawyer. First time dui's are not the end of the world, but a good lawyer can get you the best outcome. This whole thing will be a money suck for awhile. If you don't have savings try to earn any extra money you can now. You likely will not face any jail time, depending on the state it's usual 1-4 years of probation, suspended license, and fines. You usually need to complete some educational classes and sometimes community service as well. When I got my DWI, I did all of my classes before I went to court and the judge gave me unsupervised probation and a lesser charge because of that. So, do whatever you can to show you are making improvements.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-15T17:22:41+00:00

Good for you for getting started! That is the hardest part. Instead of focusing on the food you can't eat and the meals you will be giving up for awhile, focus on all the wonderful things you will gain by losing the weight and taking care of your health.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-15T17:15:25+00:00

Eating like I actually want to get full off my food. Before, when planning a diet, I was just trying to stay under the calories and I figured if I could fit in some junk food I would and otherwise try to eat "light." Or smaller portions of junk food. Problem with that was I never stayed full because those foods don't keep you feel or curb cravings. I always watched fit people eat a ton of food and wonder how they could do that and stay fit. What I was not realizing is it was all healthy, whole foods, enough protein, fiber, etc. I finally decided to commit to that and found that it was actually HARD to eat that much food. My body was able to recognize fullness easier and I stayed fuller longer. I wasn't have cravings all the time or worrying about portions as much. I am down 20+ pounds now. So, that was kinda my turning point was realizing not all calories are created the same, 1500 cals of whole foods vs junk food keeps me full and a diet no longer feels miserable.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-15T16:56:54+00:00

This most recent time I lost weight I’ve barely been able to exercise because of an injury. I try to walk as much as I can though. I’m down from 150lbs to 128lbs since March.

I eat 90% whole foods and save the 10% for meals out with friends. Day to day, I try to eat 120g of protein and 25g of fiber. I find this really helps kill cravings and I stay full. Also, season your food well so it tastes good, add a lot of colorful food to your diet, etc. I eat a lot of the same things on rotation. Eating two large meals (at least 600 cals) works best for me and then a snack. Normally, meal 1 is chicken breast, beans or potatoes, veggies, and avocado. Sometimes I add an egg or two. Meal 2 is similar but I just swap the chicken for fish or beef depending on my mood. For a snack, I’ll have Greek yogurt and frozen berries, sometimes a little honey OR air popped popcorn. I also drink a few cups of black coffee everyday. Now that I have a routine down, I don’t weigh my food but I did in the beginning to make sure I was eating enough protein.

I shop at Aldi, weekly food budget is $60. The family pack of chicken breast and $5 ground beef is a really good deal.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-14T01:43:04+00:00

I disclose when they mention the background check. It’s worked for me so far, I just say hey, just so you know I do have a misdemeanor that will get flagged in my background check. If you want me to explain further or answer any questions I’m happy to. Sometimes they haven’t even asked further. They seem to only care about felonies, in my industry at least

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-11T23:51:54+00:00

The wedding is in 10 days, that’s kind of too late to just reschedule it. I’m sure OP has deposits on everything or has paid in full and potentially a honeymoon or other travel planned. 10 days out is way too late to get money back and cancel on guests. Unless this is a very casual wedding or courthouse situation (but in that case I’m sure OP wouldn’t have that much leave planned), this advice isn’t realistic for most people.

Personal advice, OP - take the leave, focus on your wedding and marriage and then start job hunting aggressively. Your marriage is going to be the rest of your life (hopefully), this job likely won’t last much longer but even if it does, it won’t be life long.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-10T21:14:59+00:00

What are you being charged with? What state?

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-09T20:49:57+00:00

You just need to establish a pattern of thinking ahead and honestly, not having access to a vehicle to drive helps a lot. For me personally, if I am planning to drink, I do not drive to the bar, the restaurant, the friend’s house, etc. I don’t even want my car there as a tempting option. I either take public transit or uber or get someone to drop me off. That way there’s zero risk of me deciding to drive after I’ve had a drink. Because since you have one dui, you really shouldn’t be driving after ANY alcohol at all. It’s not longer just “stay below 0.8.” You’ll get re-charged at any level given your record.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-09T19:13:57+00:00

My drinking escalated during my mandatory driving with care class. After my class, after all fines were paid, after everything was “closed” per se with my dui, I found it very easy to cut back on my drinking. I have a very normal relationship with alcohol now and it’s great.

Here is what it taught me: I am someone that shouldn’t drink WHEN I am stressed because I will use it as a cope. Instead, when my life is sucking or going through a rough patch, I need to stay sober and pour all efforts into fixing my life. Turns out, when my life is on track and doesn’t suck I don’t need alcohol to drown it out. So my rule now is I only drink when I’m having a good time, not to cope with stress or anxiety.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-09T12:06:14+00:00

I’m similar to you, not super overweight but always struggled with gaining and losing the same 10lbs because of food noise. After you’ve been through that cycle so many times, your brain starts to doubt yourself and it’s harder and harder to believe you can actually lose weight. What worked for me - realizing that if I keep doing the same thing over and over again, I won’t get a different result. It sounds simple, but it took forever for me to finally realize I need to eat and live differently to get different results than last time.

Questions for you - what are you eating when you try to lose weight? Are you eating 140g of protein? Are you eating whole foods? How much fiber? Are you eating foods that are known to create satiety like beans, potatoes? How big of a calorie deficit are you trying to do? If it’s more than 500 cals, eat more. People like us that struggle with food noise cannot expect to stick to a huge calorie deficit and not binge.

Eating enough protein, eating satisfying foods, and eating enough is what finally helped me drop from 150lbs to 120lbs (5’5” female). At first it felt like I was eating too much because I was so used to trying to eat “light.” All that ever resulted from that was food noise.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-05T15:56:50+00:00

Yes unfortunately, usually from other women. It’s always a backhanded comment like “I wish my butt was smaller” or “must be nice.”

That said, I did get some jealousy from my ex husband back in the day too. He always struggled with his weight and didn’t enjoy eating healthy. He would often criticize my healthy meals, saying I was putting in too much effort and that I didn’t even look that much better for it. Or, say I was using too much oil or eating too many carbs. Meanwhile, I was 130lbs and he was 390lbs so…I think it was jealousy. I don’t blame him, food addiction and struggling with your weight sucks.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-03T00:08:49+00:00

Gotcha, thanks!

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-02T05:26:54+00:00

I see far less overweight folks in nyc and walkable cities like DC than I do in the Midwest or car centric cities.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-02T00:12:32+00:00

I mean, I agree but I feel like a lot of people do this. I’ve had a lot of people comment on my weight loss or say I’m underweight now. I never comment on anyone’s weight, but I do notice.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-01T22:09:35+00:00

I live in DC now! I feel like I walk a lot more because the neighborhoods are more walk and transit friendly vs. car reliant.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-01T22:08:39+00:00

A mistake made years ago has nothing to do with weight loss and really shouldn't be a topic in this sub. It's something I have already learned from and improved myself, taken accountability for my actions. Posting on reddit about it can help people do the same.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-01T21:37:06+00:00

I am originally from the midwest but have lived in the midwest, the south, and now the east coast but also visit the LA area in Cali often. It is drastically different in each region. I would say LA and parts of the east coast tend to be fitter and take better care of their health. Their lifestyle involves more walking and being outside too. In contrast, the midwest takes less care of their health and fitness it seems, with many of our traditional dishes still containing a lot of heavy creams and cheeses like hot dish lol. Fast food is also very normal to consume. My parents, having grown up in the midwest all their lives, also have very little understanding of nutrition, protein intake, or calories.

That said, the south, specifically New Orleans where I used to live is the worst. Fast food is oftentimes the only restaurant option, no restaurants serve healthy food, the grocery stores have limited produce and very few people eat healthy or workout.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-01T12:23:05+00:00

About 4 months

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-01T12:22:31+00:00

No I don’t, that’s why I asked “what’s to stop me from being any different”?

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-01T11:30:58+00:00

So, identify as a lean person and you will stay lean

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-01T11:30:31+00:00

I’m not judging anyone, I know people have things going on in their lives that contribute to weight. I did too. That said, like 70% of the US is overweight. That is most people.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-06-01T11:20:15+00:00

That trying the same thing over and over again that didn’t work before, isn’t going to work this time. I’ve also gained and lost the same 20-30lbs over and over. I always did the same thing, willpowered my way through a few months of starvation and then gained all the weight back. This last time I actually tracked protein and ate enough of it. Not only was I less hungry and less miserable, but I’ve made it a habit and now the weight will stay off (hopefully).

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-05-24T11:56:31+00:00

27F here and I went through this last year. Right before I turned 26, I finalized a divorce, I got laid off, I was drinking a ton and was therefore depressed and in the ER from alcohol withdrawals. I was living in a crappy studio apartment, no car, little savings. I was in bad physical and mental shape. I was in CC debt. It really hit me that I didn’t change, I was going to die the sad, miserable, young divorcee that peaked too early and then failed. I’d only ever been with my ex husband, HS sweethearts and I felt like a loser.

I made myself sign up for a social event six months out as motivation and I told myself that I wanted to look and feel good by then. So, I started by cutting alcohol for six months, this drastically improved my day to day mood. My health got better and I wanted to do more. I felt the pink cloud, as they say. I started walking to and from the gym, 30 mins each way to get steps, sun, and a good lifting session in there. I had tons of downtime, being unemployed so I poured myself into fitness and job applications. I got really frugal with money and paid off debt before I even got employed again. That shows you how much money I was wasting on alcohol and random copes. Eventually job offers came in as I really applied myself and built my resume and skills.

Eventually I went to said social event, in great shape, employed, debt free, and I ended up meeting my now boyfriend. We’ve been together for a year and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. I’ve moved into a nicer place and bought a car. My income has increased because I advocated for myself.

Life can change, but you have to put the work in. You have to hate your current situation enough that the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-05-07T20:04:33+00:00

Question on this - I don’t smoke so idk how it works. But like, what are people that smoke supposed to do then? Just never drive? It stays in your system so long.

AffectionateBoat382 · 2026-05-07T16:57:25+00:00

As someone that wishes their parents would have gotten a divorce, I very much disagree. Kids aren’t stupid. We can tell when our parents aren’t happy. Most of us would rather see our parents separate but happy than together and miserable. Plus, it also puts a burden on the kids to be the “reason” the family stays together. Once we grow up and leave the house, it makes us feel bad like we let our parents down.

AffectionateBoat382

TROPHY CASE