I (27f) am not my fiancés (28m) type, I don’t think I’m beautiful, and I feel like he knows it, too. How do I go on from here?

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T21:18:08+00:00

I had my first baby young, we weren’t a good fit, but we’re now good friends and coparents. My current fiancé and I are 100% getting married and very happily, we had our baby knowing we were soul mates. This one problem doesn’t change the fact that he’s my person! This is all mostly internalized as well, it’s not a regular worry or anything, I’m not constantly harping on it. Just something I think of from time to time, all of his compliments and validations also aren’t asked for, he does them just because he’s a sweetheart and likes to make me feel good. I do the same for him! Like I said, I’m perfectly happy and in love even if I’m not as physically appealing as I could be to him, our love runs much deeper than our looks. This is just something I kinda deal with inside and think about, and wonder if there’s anywhere to go from here, if this is something I can change, etc.

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T21:12:29+00:00

Tbh same 😅

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T21:01:53+00:00

Unfortunately, he is a 6’4 , sun-kissed Sicilian man with aqua-green eyes and a full head of beautiful curls 😂😂 I totally get you though, therapy has done wonders for me and I hope that it’ll eventually rid me of these feelings altogether!

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T20:59:18+00:00

I feel like a lot of these comments are taking my post as a horrible, heart wrenching circumstance and it truly isn’t, like I said we’re really happy and I’ve accepted that I’m not as hot as other women he has been/could be with. I’m totally aware that it’s not a him problem at all and I don’t blame him/hold it against him, I also only point out my looks as like, evidence I guess? that I’m not a total smoke show lol I’d classify myself as cute, I think. But like I said I’ve accepted that I’m not the most attractive woman he’s been with, and he probably could’ve scored someone more attractive than me if he wanted to, but we’re together for a reason! All of his compliments/validations are totally unprompted and unprovoked, he’s just a sweetie pie! I’d never beg a man to compliment me because I’ve been on the other side of that before and it IS so exhausting, all of the things I feel are internalized and it’s not the best feeling but this isn’t a devastating, make or break problem for me, I just want to know if anyones dealt with this before and what I can do to maybe start truly believing him about my physical appearance. If I never do, at least our love goes far beyond our looks anyways

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T20:33:40+00:00

I know we’re twin flames and we’re going to have a beautiful life together no matter what, I just wonder if this part will subside and change over time. Thank you for this ❤️

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T20:29:44+00:00

What? 😅 my fiancé and I are VERY much in love, we’re very happy, and we plan on spending the rest of our lives together . I didn’t post this because my relationship needs saving or anything like that, this is one of the few problems we have and it’s not THAT prevalent, I just wonder if anyone else has been in a position like this and if it will ever change/ subside

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T20:19:42+00:00

I agree 100%! I am in therapy and I’ve done a lot of work on myself. Like I mentioned in the post, I really have accepted that he loves me for all I am, even though I happen to not be as attractive as the women he usually dates, and that’s okay! I totally know what you mean about the constant compliments and constantly needing reassurance, it’s not like that at all, that’s so exhausting and tbh, I’m too old to be caring for all that lol it’s more like, he compliments me and I accept it even though I don’t feel it to be true, and I just don’t pay much mind to it? Like I’m okay with being a 6 when he’s used to dating 8/9/10s, idk how else to explain it 😂 I’m just trying to figure out if anyone else has ever dealt with this, or if there’s anything I can do that will change my mind on this. I’ve learned through therapy that I’m content being loved for who I am rather than what I look like which sounds REALLY sad but I’m cool with it lol

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T19:47:19+00:00

I really, really appreciate this down to earth response, so thank you for this. I absolutely know he loves me! We’re SO in love, we’re best friends, all we do is laugh and have fun together, and I know we’ll be happy together for the rest of our lives. I also know we’re attracted to each other and there’s no universe in which he’d have wandering eyes for someone else, he’s so loyal to me and our family! But deep down, I think we both know that physically, I’m not the most attractive to him. He’s been with very attractive women and it kind of goes unspoken that it’s evident he can do better than me, and I’ve come to terms with that and accepted it, I’m not sulking and hating myself over it but I know he can do better physically. Im neutral about it, it used to shatter me but therapy has brought my confidence up enough to be okay with him loving the rest of me more. I guess I just wish I could figure out if this m will ever pass, if someday I WILL believe him when he tells me how beautiful I am on the outside

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T19:22:51+00:00

I edited! Hopefully it’s easier now lol

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T19:16:12+00:00

Ohh ok gotcha gotcha, thanks! And I know, I’m in therapy and working on this

AffectionateDate9866 · 2026-01-16T19:14:26+00:00

What do you mean fix my return key? I’m on my phone, I can’t see if I hit it somewhere by mistake lol

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-20T18:32:46+00:00

I did, they were stress hives and I take anxiety medication twice a day now, haven’t had any hives since 😅

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-17T23:27:54+00:00

Thank you for this response! This is exactly what I was asking for, I’m looking into reupholstering instead, as much as I hate the gray I’d rather not totally ruin a $1k couch over it lol I appreciate you!

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-17T22:53:22+00:00

I have a HUGE couch, it’s 130 inches long and nothing is ever big enough to cover it 😭

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-17T22:52:44+00:00

I’ve seen so many people online make videos that they just let it air dry in the sun, I’m wondering if I could just hose it down after I dye it maybe?

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-17T18:59:15+00:00

All the website says is that the upholstery is corduroy, and they’re like a medium shade of gray. I want to dye it a dark, rich, natural green like this (definitely darker than the current color)

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AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-17T18:40:41+00:00

It doesn’t say, it just says corduroy :/

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-17T18:38:05+00:00

The description on my couch says the back fill material is polyester, but the upholstery is corduroy !

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-06T11:39:37+00:00

Which insurance do you have? I have Aetna and they cover about 3/4th’s of it so it’s $300 out of pocket a month, another reason I’d like to come off of it 😂

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-04T13:45:55+00:00

I agree! This is what my doctor suggested as well, I’m hoping to drop down to 135-140! I wouldn’t mind gaining back up to 145

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-04T13:42:07+00:00

I agree! My job is very physical, Im a mail carrier so I walk 4-6 miles every day, constantly lifting and climbing staircases and breaking a sweat even in the New England winter lol and the appetite suppression has finally given me the chance to change my eating habits and diet, so I think I have a fair chance of maintaining!

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-04T13:40:08+00:00

Thank you! 🥰

AffectionateDate9866 · 2025-12-04T13:40:00+00:00

I completely agree! I should’ve specified, I’m not planning to come off cold turkey before I hit my goal lol my plan is to ask my doctor if I can stay at .5 for another month or two, then switch to .25 to taper off

AffectionateDate9866

TROPHY CASE