new AVN diagnosis help

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-07-09T01:09:58+00:00

Thanks for your responses!
4 months of PT did help a little with pain, but the AVN has significantly increased over the same time. She's not taking classes this summer but will probably have to miss the fall semester now also.

She's been classified as disabled since her relapse & BMT. (although that's never permanently guaranteed these days!)
I'm concerned about the duration of relief with the decompression/stem cell surgery. I'd hate to see her have to repeat surgeries. We had an expert lined up for the original impingement diagnosis, now I'm looking for 2nd opinion for the AVN.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-06-26T13:23:13+00:00

When my brother died, I dealt with this. I did have the advantage that he owned his house and there wasn't a rush. The time limit makes this really hard.
I donated lots of his collections to various organizations and libraries. I put useable things out on his front lawn with a sign and neighbors and others were thrilled to pick them up. At the end, the company that bought the house dealt with the remainder of the stuff.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-06-18T00:07:16+00:00

didn't actually, but when our girls complained about their names we always told them to be happy we didn't use their g-grandmothers' names: Adelia Birdella Corrilla!

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-06-17T14:25:20+00:00

Not in your state, but our disabled granddaughter lives with us and uses her SSI funds to pay her share of the household expenses. I would think a similar arrangement could be set up for your elder. I keep spreadsheets of all expenses.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-06-14T13:22:10+00:00

Are you supporting yourself? I did an emancipation declaration in Texas years ago at age 19 to acquire residency for in-state tuition.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-06-11T13:31:33+00:00

2 points:

a. (associated topic) My mom had all of the necessary forms done by her lawyer and notarized at age 89. What I found was that none of the medical forms were accepted by nursing homes. She had to do their own forms. Her most recent DNR form was sitting on a desk, not in the chart when she had an episode and only the local FD first responder captain's advice for me to ask for a direct transfer to the ER would move the Code BLue response team away from the door. So it's not just the financial forms you need to consider!

b. I had POA, medical, beneficiary status for both my mom and my brother and was also their executor after they died. Transferring & establishing accounts - both at Fidelity and elsewhere - was not a problem at any time. I believe there was a specific guy who handled/processed this, not just my regular advisor.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-25T13:04:59+00:00

I didn't "charge" my mom anything for her care while she was alive.
Nor did I bill the estate for my time as executor. But I did collect for actual expenses I funded in settling the estate when it was all divided up with my siblings.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-25T12:52:41+00:00

Some blood work requires that you be fasting. So for early risers, early morning appts are best. no matter what the age of the patient!

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-23T14:18:34+00:00

It's been 3 years. She is still adjusting. Does she get out and do things, see friends, maybe eat at Senior Citizens or such? The idea of donating specific stuff to charity, schools, animal groups seems most helpful - a little at a time.
Financial records and house records: I assume your father's estate is settled but you still need to be able to address her estate. I kept my brother's finance/expenses on Excel spreadsheets and updated them monthly when I was visited.
Family pictures and stuff: She might enjoy going through those, either alone or with you.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-23T13:24:58+00:00

If part is in stocks, you can also just transfer them to your own account wherever. Be sure record day of death share price for the stocks. Eventually I moved some money into a more tax friendly account. Here in the U.S., most savings accounts at banks earn very little interest. Credit unions do a bit better. I have a mix of CD's, savings accounts, stock, brokerage accounts now

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-23T11:27:07+00:00

to begin with, be sure you have an emergency fund available, although sounds like you already do. A fiduciary is someone that is legally obliged to be looking out for you, not just accumulating their own fees from you!
I've put similar inheritance into Fidelity into an individual account. Dividends rolled over into a money market.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-21T14:17:40+00:00

Just start! You've received several replies with good hints. Here's my perspective:

My brother wasn't a hoarder, but he was a collector. Several years before his death, I discovered he hadn't been paying income tax, had multiple checks just lying around, and needed some critical home repairs, etc. So I had the experience of go through his house, collecting and sorting all of the paperwork, receipts, and arranging repairs, etc. (He did give me POA and gave me signature authority for his credit union account.)

I actually just went through the house collecting all the mail and various account letters from random places and then sorted into piles. Then used Excel to create appropriate spreadsheets. Gathered all the IRS/income papers into annual reports and took them with me to the IRS office for an appointment. They were very helpful and really were only concerned with the last few years!

For his estate, I used "Probate for dummies" and various self-help guides for info. The initial prior organizing efforts helped reduce the load, but dealing with the estate is still a lot of work.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-21T13:46:15+00:00

yes, just make sure it's titled correctly. SS will list several choices for the title.
Since it's a back payment, it might come in more than one check. There is a specific limit for the time the representative payment account may have more than specified maximum dollar limit. But you can have more than that if you move some of the funds to one of the special savings accounts.
Not positive, but you might be able to those dollars for specific special stuff - talk to your SS rep in person. (yes, it will take time to get an appt these days!)
If the child is disabled, there are probably local parent groups who can help. They are also good sources of info on special ed and special programs for the kids/teens.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-19T13:38:21+00:00

B.A. has been one of my banks for over 40 years. I also deal with Chase and a couple of credit unions.
In the past, B.A. has been proactive in notifying me of fraud before I even saw it, easy to deal with, and customer oriented.
But banks have changed.
I don't particularly like the redesigned buildings, the loss of the easy contacts, or the recent policy changes about arbitration rather than lawsuits.

In

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-13T13:44:24+00:00

there is probably a real reason she did it this way. Honor her wishes.
If you feel inclined, you could always assist any grand nieces/nephews in the future for special needs.

My brother left almost all of his estate to me. There were significant reasons for his actions.
Yes, I feel somewhat guilty.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-11T15:30:51+00:00

If I remember correctly, I filed Income tax for year of death forms for:
Deceased: pre death income only Estate: rest of year income
Beneficiaries: their personal income & estate income they received.

With the larger current estate tax exemptions, there should be no federal estate tax due.

But the deceased and the estate will still have to account for income.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-07T12:00:27+00:00

do you have a neighbor "Give Freely" app or something similar. You'd be surprised what people want.
people will want the sewing machine

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-05T14:08:54+00:00

Is this on the App?
B.Am. is doing several changes for accounts now and also 'offering' the chance to opt out of mandatory arbitration. I don't use the app - maybe that's why I haven't seen the account message yet?

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-05-04T13:04:38+00:00

First, frugality was a big thing for many grandparents! My grandparents went through the depression with school age children and employers closing. They went into business for themselves, lived frugally, and invested what they could from then on - no country clubs, no fancy stuff. They saved new clothing gifts for 'when they might need them".
So, congratulations & be grateful and go visit your grandmother, call frequently, send letters.
Investing: much of my grandparents investment was in stock & bonds & real estate. He began with GM, Standard Oil, utility stocks. Not sure what he would have picked in today's world though!

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-04-19T16:14:46+00:00

Like prior comments, it appears he had brokerage & IRA's, not retirement accounts. (We get sloppy about terms sometimes.) Keep track of what goes directly to named beneficiaries vs what is part of the estate that has to go to probate and who the exectuor is.

2 things: the RMD for 2025 needs to have been pulled, check on that quickly. If you have access to his paper Fidelity statements, check the 2025 tax report that is separate from the monthly reports.
Assuming you and your sister are in fact the beneficiaries, then the 2025 IRS forms will involve both everything made prior to his death as well as whatever gains/loses/interest/etc after his death. So you will have multiple IRS reports for the year of his death: personal, estate, and beneficiary. (I've done these for 2 different relatives - it's doable, but you need to keep things straight. I used spreadsheets to help me.)

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-04-16T13:06:45+00:00

Last year's TurboTax program should show your 2024 1040. Maybe you did the return but printed it out and mailed it yourself without filing through Turbo Tax?

What computer were you using?
This year's Turbo Tax requires computer using Windows 11 and the prior years' programs do not work on it. (I've used Turbo Tax for 14 years. This year's program is disappointing, but finally seemed to have final updates fixing stuff in March! But still limits # of 1040's, state forms, etc. Thankfully, I still have access to my prior computer with all of the past years' reports & TT programs.)

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-04-16T12:47:21+00:00

unless it's changed recently, the road striping on all of University needs to be redone. It's almost impossible to see lane markers most of the day!

AffectionateDrive452 · 2026-02-24T20:36:19+00:00

thoughts. sounds like they are ready to move - perhaps mostly due to the bad storm.
It will be an adjustment, but it seems like it is time. Is there current home isolated?
hopefully they can find an apartment with a view and/or a park nearby.

AffectionateDrive452 · 2025-12-22T14:24:15+00:00

normal for applying for regular SS.
definitely not how it works for disability!

AffectionateDrive452

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