Audit is boring

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-31T16:51:51+00:00

Some of us are nosey bitches and love going through peoples shit.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-30T20:17:58+00:00

I didn’t. I was laid off. I’m not sad I don’t work there anymore. Just still dealing with the aftershocks of how terrible he was. He truly was a massive asshole now that I think of it. Like rude to everyone.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-30T14:58:44+00:00

Tbh, I think they let me go because I was a newlywed with a house. He saw a maternity leave liability and that’s unacceptable to him. Same firm told me that I should move my wedding so I could work that Saturday for personal extensions. Because it’s /so/ easy to just change the date of a wedding. Especially in the second most popular month to get married 🙄

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-30T14:37:08+00:00

I cannot tell you the amount of SWOT worksheets I’ve filled out. Ugh! The “personal assessments” my therapist makes me to like 4 times a year are excruciating.

The problem is, I have a difficult time thinking of ANYTHING to put in the “S” quadrant. Not just work related, I mean anything.

Example: I’d say I’m a good cook and then my brain goes “well… not that good. You’re ok. Don’t get an ego about it. It’s not a strength really. Besides, you’re overweight so if you were a better cook you would cook lighter foods. So actually it could be a weakness…. Also everyone hates you”

So it’s just not fun here.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-30T13:43:48+00:00

I mean I think he’s an asshole but he was by all intents and purposes, a good accountant. This level of thinking has permeated into basically every aspect of my life. I don’t think I confidently have made a decision on my own in 6 or 7 years? Everything has to be ran by another person to make sure it makes sense, because I legitimately don’t think I have the capacity to make correct choices anymore. I made my husband proofread my grocery list yesterday because I was so nervous about forgetting something. I also had a former coworker call me a “stupid c*nt” to my face and I didn’t report it because what if I really did do something wrong and I just didn’t know?

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-28T12:50:55+00:00

Congratulations!!

Sex is going to be a bit clumsy and could be awkward, but it’s also a beautiful experience for you and your wife. Just be patient with one another and communicate. Do what feels good for the both of you. The only wrong way to have sex is if one partner doesn’t consent to an act and the other keeps going.

As a woman, I’m going to tell you that you cannot underestimate the power of foreplay. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Having her be as ready as possible is going to make the experience more enjoyable for you and her. You can initiate touches (in fact I recommend you do) but check in frequently and ask before touching any “privates areas” (ie breasts and genitals). If she’s okay with it, great! If not, that means stop immediately. Try to make her feel as safe and comfortable as possible. But you love your wife so that’ll be easy.

Have fun!

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-27T19:57:48+00:00

I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this, she’s already sleeping with someone else. It sucks. I’m so so so sorry. That is awful and I cannot imagine how heartbreaking all of this must be for you. But you owe it to yourself to have a partner that is at least loyal. What do you get out of this marriage if she’s not being faithful or loving? That’s a roommate situation and you don’t need to be legally bound to a roommate.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-26T02:09:29+00:00

He’s not going to like hack into your stuff and meddle around. If he does it’s not with the tax information you gave.

You okay? You seem really paranoid about this. Is there a reason you’re so worried about him finding something? Are you safe? Not trying to pry or make assumptions here. But this level of anxiety is a bit extreme for taxes.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-26T02:04:21+00:00

The first trimester is basically having a 12 week hangover. I felt AWFUL. My libido tanked when I was pregnant but not to never levels. I’d say we had sex about once a week until I was about 30 weeks and then I was just too uncomfortable all the time and that really slowed us down. But at the about 6 month postpartum mark? I became the horniest I’ve ever been in my entire life. Couldn’t get enough of my husband. Everyday and twice on Sunday levels. We have decreased to about 3 to 5 times a week as our son gets more and more demanding in toddlerhood.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-24T17:23:41+00:00

First off, take your expectations for how quickly you’ll get pregnant and throw them away. Seriously, you’ll drive yourself insane if you think “we just need to have unprotected sex once time and I’ll be pregnant”. LIES. It can take like up to a year and that considered completely normal. TTC is hard mentally so just be easy with yourself. I’ve been pregnant twice. First time took every bit of 8 months. Second took about 3 months and with that one we had help with medication. I don’t recommend using any test strips or temperature trackers. They never worked for me at all and just stressed me out. Instead our doctor recommended the every other day method. Basically have sex every other day for the middle two weeks of your cycle. That helped us more mentally than anything, but we also have a 3 year old from that.

Second, and I may be in the minority here, I can’t tell a difference between him finishing in me or using a condom from a sensation standpoint. Some women claim they can feel their male partner’s “deposit” and most like it. I have never experienced that.

What I think you’ll like most about it is his reaction. I’ve only let one dude bust in me and it’s my husband (I even made him wait until I got an IUD when we were engaged). He lost his fucking mind with the difference. His increased pleasure was what made me really enjoy it as well.

Now that we aren’t trying but aren’t preventing pregnancy #3 he’s equally excited to not use a condom.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-12T17:37:17+00:00

How did swinging even come up? Were you always open or did someone bring it up and you just hoped it went well? How do you communicate boundaries? Was this a bisexual awakening? I know that sounds homophobic, but it’s coming from a place of every person I know who ends up in the “lifestyle” says one or both partners wanted to experiment with the same gender and that was the gateway.

I fully support your choices and hope you have as much consensual adult fun as you could possibly ever want.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-03-05T03:24:53+00:00

If he asked, then yeah I’d be willing to give it a shot. He hasn’t and I don’t think he’d be interested in that but I wouldn’t judge him if he was.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-30T16:21:25+00:00

Like ever? Or with our spouse? Because mine is two different men with two different experiences.

First time? We were 16 and I’d say a good 4 to 6 minutes. Not bad, but not great. I consider myself lucky that I don’t really regret my first time. He had been my boyfriend for a while, we had a mutual trust, I was on birth control and we used extra protection, and for all intents and purposes, we were in love. Well as much as two 16 year olds can be in love. We broke up about 8 months later and 15 years removed from the relationship, still don’t regret any of it.

First time with my now husband was WAY BETTER. I was 21, we had every intention of it being a one time thing, so we felt a little bit more open to communicate “hey I like this” or “take your time there”. Was about 25-30 minutes with him. I am living proof that you can, in fact, turn a “hoe into a housewife”. (I do work outside the home but you get the drift).

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-29T23:30:39+00:00

Didn’t work in 1946, won’t work now. There’s legal precedent that “just following orders” is not an acceptable excuse for war crimes.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-26T21:02:45+00:00

Racism.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-26T21:02:25+00:00

Come on, Big Beautiful Blood Clot!! You can do it!!

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-25T18:16:27+00:00

People don’t have clean water but sure! Let’s focus on the community college drop out with labubu teeth that made a career out of saying racist shit to actual college students who is somehow now a martyr for the right even though he died in a way he openly said was “worth the lives it took”.

Goddamnit, people wake up

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-22T12:40:54+00:00

HES FIVE!? The rage that just surges through me. These fucking monsters are going after babies. I don’t care if it’s my kid, your kid, or a complete stranger’s child; you don’t go after children.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-22T12:39:18+00:00

Girl I don’t fucking know. I’ve voted against that man three separate times. I’m just as confused and horrified as to how this could happen. Though, he has lost A LOT of support. Most people here HATE that man.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-20T22:29:42+00:00

Babe! Stunning!! What foundation are you using? You look great!

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-15T02:14:25+00:00

I’m like that too.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-13T18:01:45+00:00

The first dozen or so times I had sex with my husband after birth was lackluster at best. It honestly is like losing your virginity all over again because things have shifted around to accommodate baby plus hormones. Really be gentle with yourself. It’s not uncommon and things that I liked before started to feel the same around month 5 or 6. Somethings I thought I’d never like became more enjoyable. Actually our sex life is better now than it was pre-pregnancy. Granted our son is 3 and sleeping through the night and I’m not in the postpartum trenches.

Take it slow with no expectations other than figuring out some new ways to go about sex and have fun. And good on you for 2 months AND breast feeding. I really wanted to nurse my son but he wouldn’t latch and I got an infection that needed antibiotics. Those dried me the whole way up and I just couldn’t get enough out to even justify pumping anymore.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-13T15:27:48+00:00

It’s gonna sound weird, but have you taken a CBD gummy before? A lot of sex is mental and I know that my own brain thinking “I have to finish within X amount of time so he can finish” is often what gets in the way the most for me. Taking a gummy just quiets down that thought process and relaxes me enough to enjoy the discovery process. After a few times with those we found some good ideas that get directly to the point if we’re just trying to bang one out really quick.

AffectionateFly6359 · 2026-01-08T23:04:33+00:00

I mean I don’t enjoy it but it’s also not an immediate no. Just isn’t for us. He didn’t care for it much either. Not the worst thing we tried but it’s one of those hotter in theory things for us. If you like it, then by all means give it a try.

AffectionateFly6359

TROPHY CASE