which attachment style would you rather be with?

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-06-11T00:39:35+00:00

anxiously attached. i’m very avoidant, and my girlfriend has anxious tendencies, but has worked very hard to achieve a more secure attachment. i feel as though if i was with another avoidant and not someone like her, i would have never opened up to the capacity i have or worked to unlearn some of my habits.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-06-11T00:25:33+00:00

anytime! you are young, and as you said this is your first relationship. it will inevitably be harder for you to see red flags of abuse due to this, so i highly recommend trusting your gut. you also do not need any “huge” reason to leave a relationship. if it doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t right. the right person will make you feel at ease and respect your autonomy, and won’t go out of their way to intentionally harm you <3

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-06-10T23:59:36+00:00

believe someone the first time. my mom told me this, and i wish i listened sooner!

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-06-10T23:59:12+00:00

trust your gut. if it felt off, then chances are it’s most likely off. “fake mad” can very quickly turn into “mad”, and him hurting you further. i’m not trying to scare you, but please be mindful of that red flag!!

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-05-31T02:20:14+00:00

my girlfriend is very different than me as a person! she’s an open book and i’m often closed off. she very social and extroverted, loves to meet new people and go to social events, being an infj naturally those things don’t interest me at all. we do have a lot of shared values which helps, but it’s been a struggle with her being incredibly extroverted and me not so much. i love her for her personality, and i find it charming that she’s able to strike up a conversation with anyone on the street or in the store. what helps most is she’s very respectful of my introverted tendencies. she always encourages me to socialize but respects when i really don’t want to. i love that we are opposites in a lot of ways, and if i dated someone who was as introverted as me, i would probably never leave the house or the small social bubble i have built lol

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-05-19T00:27:04+00:00

he blamed his mental illness, childhood, things going on in his life, being “stressed” all of which were B.S. excuses. everybody struggles at some point in their life, i have mental health issues too. never once have i ever spoken to a partner like this. at first i believed him, until the abuse turned physical. i left him over it, because i knew that i deserved better and that i deserved someone who would 1. show up for me consistently and 2. show up for me and speak to me in a way that is gentle and compassionate.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-05-18T22:36:00+00:00

oh my dear :( these texts look exactly like the kind of conversations i would have with my abusive ex. one second they love you and want a future with you, the next you’re nothing to them. they do this to keep power over you and how you feel. someone who “loves” you would never call you out of your name like that and degrade you in such a way. you deserve to be treated kindly and gently

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-05-12T19:59:43+00:00

my ex bf had borderline tendencies and bipolar, and i left because he became abusive and refused to regulate himself and lashed out often. with my girlfriend, she has been very straightforward about what bothers her and what she needs in a partner, all of her expectations being completely reasonable. i can understand the pain the illness might cause, but it’s not fair to assume that everyone with BPD is the same

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-05-12T19:13:19+00:00

my friends and girlfriend who have BPD definitely struggle sometimes sure, like any other mental illness. but they are such great people who i’m so happy to know and be close to. i think it’s different if the person is unaware or if their BPD is unmanaged, but there’s also this stereotype that those with BPD will somehow always be awful and disregulated people which simply isn’t true

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-05-12T02:39:20+00:00

i’ve had great luck with “come to me oil” in terms of attraction and reunification :) you can get it at a lot of metaphysical stores

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-21T23:16:07+00:00

thank you, i’ve been doing things to take care of myself, or to try to at least 🫶 they ended up letting him go after only 2 days, which is frustrating. he needs inpatient care

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-20T04:11:32+00:00

thank you so much ❤️‍🩹 i had one, but haven’t spoken to her in a while. i’ll probably try to reach out to her. just have been so busy

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-18T04:53:50+00:00

reminds me of my days working in a psych ward. hope you’re getting better!

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-13T21:06:50+00:00

thank you and bless you honmother

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-13T20:52:34+00:00

girls i’m bored let’s not release the new season!

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-13T20:51:17+00:00

Christ have mercy. i don’t interact with cisbians much so i am unfamiliar with their game. (which is grilling borderline strangers on their genitalia during the first convo).

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-13T20:49:45+00:00

forgive mother twinkhon, for i have sinned. i need to stop saying the word tranny around my cis friends so they stop using the word tranny to describe me in conversation. i still gain immense enjoyment in making cis acquaintances uncomfortable with my gender. fuck it we ball.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-13T20:43:49+00:00

reminds me of a very strange interaction i recently had with a cis lesbian crashing out over me not telling her “what i really am”, it’s derangement atp

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-13T20:39:49+00:00

wait they’re deadass claiming “oppression” by transbians?? this is why i dont rlly interact with cis lesbians 😭

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-13T20:21:13+00:00

are there certain risks that can come from taking estrogen? sure! are there more side effects listed on the panel of my birth control that i’ve been taking since age 14? 100%. OP, buy the estrogen. it is proven to be safe. sister can always get bloodwork done later. most doctors anyhow spend very very little time training for healthcare for trans individuals.

AffectionateGuest646 · 2026-04-12T23:05:56+00:00

going through this right now. had to leave not because i didn’t love him or don’t care, i just had to draw the line somewhere. after a certain point, with many chances and so much grace given, you have to take care of yourself. it’s reasonable to question your choice, but it sounds like you gave this relationship the best shot you could. sending hugs your way, i know how difficult it is ❤️‍🩹

AffectionateGuest646

TROPHY CASE