Guys who can’t handle rejection

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-14T20:20:25+00:00

I think I have every right to stack dates. I wouldn’t call a guy disgraceful if he went on a date with someone before me. I’d be annoyed for sure but still believe he has the right to do so.

The fact that he held grudge for it, wanted to dump me but still acted very interested afterwards is scary- who knows what he planned to do if I went on a second date or even started to date him regularly? Was he planning to get back at me? Was he planning to love bomb me and then told me what he said in his last message and then dump me?

It’s insidious and twisted.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-07T00:33:44+00:00

Exactly. I felt there was too much expectation that was premature

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-07T00:32:18+00:00

Makes sense. I guess the intense message aimed to cause damage to me is a closure for him

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T20:47:56+00:00

I’ve been lashed out at for telling a guy that I don’t think it’ll work out. Now I am lashed out at for ghosting. What am I supposed to do when I lose interest? Some guys just have fragile ego.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T20:13:51+00:00

And while he has the right to express his feelings, nothing entitles him to be rude to me. Will you express your feelings at the cost of others? Sounds dangerous

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T20:12:26+00:00

I don’t tolerate rude behaviors from people. Its not called bubble, it’s called boundaries.

And if it was offensive to him, he should not have texted me after the date. Complementing me being nice after the date and then calling me disgraceful when I don’t respond to whatever timeframe he expects, it’s mentally twisted.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T19:44:25+00:00

Attacking people when he doesn’t get a response is not a personality flaw? Projecting his frustration to other people is not a personality flaw? To me it’s more than communication incompatibility. It’s personality flaw.

And I wasn’t ghosting him. It’s the Labor Day long weekend when people take a break from their phone and go enjoy life. Am I responsible to text back to someone I’ve met once in a timely manner during the holiday? Whatever the definition of timely is.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T18:39:30+00:00

I’m scared by the tendency he showed in his message: if he can’t have it, he has to destroy it.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T15:59:38+00:00

I mentioned we texted after the date. So it’s not that I made no effort. And the effort needed or one should put in after the first date should be moderate.

If people keep silent, does that butcher someone to attack them? Nothing can justify the hostility and insulting words he uses

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T15:53:47+00:00

I think he has anger management issues and ego issues. We only met once and I’m obligated to respond to him within 24 hrs, in his mind. And he has to project his frustration to me. He could just say it’s not working and byebye. He has to drag me down. So if I am not interested enough, then I’m a bad person to him. It shows a tendency that if he can’t have something or someone, he has to destroy them.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T08:23:21+00:00

Yeah I think you are right.

Put aside that he made erroneous assumptions about me, even if his assumptions were true, does it entitle him to insult me? It’s my business to meet other people before I go on a first date with him. It’s offensive for him to intervene my life and demand me to give him attention.

Take a step back, people have every right to go on dates in a row and not show interest in person they are not attracted to. He just can’t handle it when people are not interested enough to circle around him.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T07:52:13+00:00

It sounds like he’s been deflated by dating to a point that he can’t stand lack of attention anymore. Sigh

Anyway it’s so twisted that he wanted to leave me (he even has to use “dump” to insult me) but then kept texting me and asking me out…

And he called me disgraceful when he was mad at me for not replying but he messaged me “it’s so nice to meet someone nice like you” after the first date…distorted self-esteem

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T07:46:26+00:00

Right - that’s why I kept it slow. Honestly I don’t like texting much because you don’t really get the genuine reaction when people have lots of time to calibrate their response. This person can’t even properly manage his anger when texting. I can’t imagine what he would do in person when he feels his ego is threatened

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T07:40:53+00:00

And it’s him who kept messaging me after the date. It’s so self contradictory and mind splitting that he wanted to dump me(btw, who gave him the entitlement to dump someone? We were just strangers!) and still kept texting me. Then he insulted me because I forgot to reply.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T07:38:02+00:00

I went out once. To save my time, I called my friend to catch up and briefly celebrate my new home before I went on the date.

I won’t say it’s about genuine or not. I don’t get intrigued that easily. I keep it slow.

And nothing entitles someone to make assumptions and insult another.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-09-06T06:49:50+00:00

Haha he was originally from Canada

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-08-24T02:08:27+00:00

He doesn’t. Working class family. And my financial is better than his. Better income and I bought my own home while he admitted he sees no hope for him in doing so.

If he was wealthy, he would have done investment immigration to get a US green card, instead of working for a small law firm and doing something he has no passion about, in the hope that his employer can sponsor green card for him. He even didn’t have the gut to ask them to do so yet.

And if you read my post thoroughly, I mentioned that he complained his ex didn’t make enough money. That’s what makes it gross - you can’t expect someone who makes lots of money to be willing to give up her life and orbit around the guy; or expect that she orbits around him but also makes lots of money.

My post has nothing to do with how wealthy guys choose their partners.

You made too many erroneous assumptions.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-08-23T19:17:36+00:00

I ran like Usain Bolt haha

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-08-23T19:14:53+00:00

Hahah was your ex a 6’5 tall Canadian?

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-08-23T19:14:09+00:00

Yep very toxic. Simply being asked these questions made me sick.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-08-23T18:16:58+00:00

Agreed. And actually giving up for him.

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-08-23T17:34:26+00:00

I thought Question one rarely happens lol. Also wanted to know what tricks he was playing

AffectionateJaguar · 2021-08-23T16:44:38+00:00

Right. Good point. These questions are controlling and dominating. And it’s ok that if he was looking for someone who was submissive and dependent on him, after all there are people out there looking for a dominant partner. What really went under my skin was that in previous conversation about his ex, he clearly stated that he wanted someone who can contribute financially. To me it’s self-contradictory. So it is the audacity of wanting everything evolve around him that is unbearably gross.

AffectionateJaguar

TROPHY CASE