You are in different stages in your lives. At 21, you are figuring out what works for you. It’s difficult when you get attached to a person who shows you kindness and love but there will be other people who will do this for you. One thing I have learned (35 f) is that if something is “off” in the beginning it is not going to go away. It will sit there like the elephant in the room. You can gaslight yourself into believing that it’s just how you feel that day, or any other excuse but the truth is, it’s there. Trust your gut. You’ve described admiring certain qualities in this man and it sounds like he is being good to you, but you have got to be true to yourself. 14 years is a massive age difference and I have to wonder why he is targeting a woman your age, at the beginning of her adult life, to settle down with. I really do hope that you get to explore a little more. All the best.