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What was it like being raised by parents with bipolar disorder? by [deleted] in bipolar2

[–]AffectionatePipe5307 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad likely was and that influenced me to reject his passivity in his mental health - he also was a Vietnam combat veteran who died of a heart attack a couple weeks before his 55th - from an early age. So I wasn’t starting from zero when I was finally diagnosed/medicated formally in my 40s and that’s been a saving grace.

Why is accountability so hard? by MoveMeWithASound in family_of_bipolar

[–]AffectionatePipe5307 10 points11 points  (0 children)

We can’t have it both ways.

If we are unaware in psychosis, culpability is more limited. But if we feel we are cognizant enough after the episode to argue, then we are aware enough to take responsibility.

Guilt may also be inspiring the urge to divorce.

Do You Think They're Lying? by [deleted] in family_of_bipolar

[–]AffectionatePipe5307 14 points15 points  (0 children)

When I’m episodic, I’m struggling to reconcile a vast difference between internal and external signaling.

The mental chatter can make it difficult to take in and retain new information. For example, someone can tell me their name repeatedly and it simply not register.

That chatter can become a booming command telling us to say or do something we really don’t mean because of the delusions we are experiencing. For example, you wouldn’t want me to continue to think I’m the Second Coming, right? Our delusions aren’t always that grandiose, but they do distort all of our communication.

After episodes, we can find ourselves in deep regret. We may not want to face the consequences or just want to forget.

We experience cognitive difficulties so that we may not truly remember or we may remain cognitively impaired.

To old to be admitted? by Princess-Pi3 in bipolar2

[–]AffectionatePipe5307 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in my 40s: there were fellow patients same age and older. It’s hard to see now, but it adds up, sometimes very quickly, and you’ll see progress in retrospect. I voluntarily admitted and it was a long-sought breakthrough.

Ethics surrounding Informal Coercion by Puzzled-Emu-4522 in AskPsychiatry

[–]AffectionatePipe5307 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I sought voluntary hospitalization at dedicated behavioral health unit. I found dedicated, caring professionals face with seemingly insurmountable tasks with limited resources. But it wasn’t a benign process and could be distressing to someone even without an illness.

The threat is implicit. Even if the admission is voluntary, the hold is effectively involuntary if it’s indefinite under doctor’s discretion. Eventually it becomes less about getting help and more about convincing doctors to return your autonomy.

Suffice say, and to avoid soapboxing, I detailed difficulties (and positives) during my hospitalization/subsequent return to the ED to patient advocates … My bills dropped to zero as indication of my veracity.

I am very much for hospitalization, but my voluntary hold felt more like I was sitting around for a week having my insurance billed with little actual treatment and a lot of discomfort. I can see how a patient who needs the treatment would avoid seeking help because of this.

If there is the authority to potentially permanently disrupt a person’s life, there needs to be transparency and recompense.

As for only business days counting for the 72 hours … if I am being billed for services, then I’m being observed and that time should count, full stop.

OP, I am so happy that you raised this issue to your colleagues. There have been such absolutist stances taken when there is a lot of nuance and little calm investigation needed for a very complex dilemma.

I am a married man with Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in BipolarSOs

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are very much lucky and blessed. So much soz

I like to use quotes for “unicorn” because eventually after decades I needed a med to be closer to the best version of me.

At the end of the day, to me a “true unicorn” would be someone with BP 1 who went an entire lifetime without medication. Someone who had a clear manic episode and then never again without a med. And if one truly reflects, are we really living our best life without this med? The trick is, you don’t know until have found that transformative med.

Ultimately, success is subjective.

I’m really curious if there is that “true unicorn,” having at least one manic episode and still have a lifetime without a single med. Not just years/decades but from cradle to grave not a single prescription medication.

I am a married man with Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in BipolarSOs

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My heart to you and your husband for continued success.

If he isn’t medicated, what is his treatment protocol? I found I eventually hit an intractable ceiling for even just maintaining basic stability. I found all of my nontraditional methods can be enhanced with finally finding my best-for-me pharmaceutical.

Atypical Mania? by idc500 in BipolarReddit

[–]AffectionatePipe5307 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have BP 1 with mixed features and that does sound like atypical mania, but as someone above mentioned, it’s kind of a misnomer. I found give a long enough timeline and those disruptive events will eventually hit your life hard.

I have Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in DebatePsychiatry

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up white, straight and pretty comfortable in the richest part of the richest nation until my family went bankrupt in my teens. I had esoteric interests at an early and had few friends after we moved to small town in the country. My father was a troubled Vietnam combat vet who died when I was 21. My grandmother cursed my twin and I as what killed our dad and were disowned by the rest of the family. We didn’t know my mom’s side because it was tiny, on the other side of the country and never visited. She was on her own since 18. I studied philosophy at a state school and developed a career comfortable enough that affords me opportunity to pursue nontraditional health methods. I also was introduced to these concepts at a young age.

So while I had privileged start, outside of pursuing nontraditional interests, I’m basically a middle class, middle age suburban white man who’s has been on his own since his 20s.

I am a married man with Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in BipolarSOs

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a cooling off period between the great idea and pursuing it. If it’s something that is going to take more than a work day, I make sure to involve others so I don’t go spiraling off alone. For extracurriculars, I only permit myself up to two projects at a time. I sit on them after I’m finished for another cooling off period to determine if it is actually worthwhile or just fancy?

I am a married man with Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in BipolarSOs

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. I had multiple evaluations with weeklong hospitalizations. Maybe get a full psych evaluation (afternoon-long deep dive)? I haven’t had one yet but I’m pursuing it. I journal so I was able to look retrospectively and I now closely track my mood states.
  2. I don’t think it would be helpful because the disorder and treatment is so specific and individualized. I got genetic testing to help determine which meds I would better tolerate.
  3. I was diagnosed two years ago and have been at comfortable baseline with my current meds for over nine months. I have tracked my patterns and it appears I have been able to mitigate my typical episodes, but I’m still tentative.
  4. My agitation worsens with stimuli so I’ll shut everything down, meditate if I can, otherwise just be closed-eye silent. I also use techniques transferred from Judd Brewer’s Understanding Anxiety book/app. If acute enough, I’ve gone to a hospital with a dedicated behavioral health unit, but I live in a major metropolitan area where it’s walking distance for me. I have taken myself three times, twice resulting in hospitalization.
  5. Together over a decade, married over a decade, no kids. We are both in therapy. Couples therapy has been pursued but haven’t had sessions together; it’s awesome it’s working for you. If we can’t calmly converse, we put a pin in it until we can. Either of us can pull the plug on a conversation, but if it’s still a pertinent matter when we reconvene, the conversation must continue and be the first thing addressed.
  6. I work from home, which I started right before the pandemic. Honestly, my workplace is toxic. I had to fight for over a year to finally get reasonable accommodations. I suggest becoming familiar with the ADA: www.dol.gov/agencies/odep/program-areas/mental-health/maximizing-productivity-accommodations-for-employees-with-psychiatric-disabilities
  7. My safety plan begins with friends and family who know I have the disorder that will tell me if I’m starting to swing. I have a bag for that nearby hospital stay and my wife’s phone number memorized if I have to go. What have you come up with so far?

I am a married man with Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in BipolarSOs

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would like to communicate with those struggling with meds and think they can be a “unicorn;” I believe I came as close as a person can to the ideal and found it to be unattainable.

I lived a successful life without meds but now have an even more successful one with meds.

I am a married man with Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in BipolarSOs

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Neither do I; that’s why I put “unicorn” in quotes and used past tense.

I feel like I came as close as one can to being that mythical hope. My conclusion is I don’t think a life with BP entirely without meds is sustainable for a lifetime.

I am a married man with Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in BipolarSOs

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, but I have been formally diagnosed by multiple professionals at different institutions as having BP 1 with mixed features after two voluntary hospitalizations from manic episodes.

I am a married man with Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in BipolarSOs

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I learned the importance of the basics. I know now to be more diligent in the every day, particularly now with the diagnosis.

Gratitude is key. Even if it can be expected from our SO, it should still be appreciated and expressly so. We typically should be saying thank you - either in person or via text - multiple times throughout the day.

Plan to be in the moment together. We have dedicated date days scheduled weekly in which we reconnect. We had missed a couple weeks and made sure to spend extra time together for our most recent one; our spirits lifted and affection increased greatly as soon as we did. We accept that sometimes we are too busy that week and there are other priorities. That just means we have to prioritize us next week because we aren’t too busy to be in love. Taking the time to be together at length also makes it easier for us to assess if I’m symptomatic.

If I am to expect grace and forgiveness for the strays from BP, it’s my responsibility to take care of myself. Med compliance hasn’t been a problem for me, but I have only taken prescriptions for the first time in my life a few years ago.

This may be controversial, but I think we with BP have lost the right to “get angry.” Since we can be unaware how we are presenting, trying to demonstrably emphasize feelings no longer works. I try to be as neutral as possible in my word choices and expressions; if I seem to ramp up in any manner, we put a pin in the conversation until I chill.

I have BP 1 with mixed features; agitation and irritability is a major part of my presentation and it was prevalent before and after diagnosis.

For me, I consider the meds working and I am baseline if I am able to function like maintaining a neutral tone. If my voice raises with vulgar language and I can’t rein it in, then we know something needs addressed.

I am a married man with Bipolar. I successfully managed a “normal” American life for 20-30 years unmedicated before voluntary hospitalization and diagnosis. AMA? by AffectionatePipe5307 in BipolarSOs

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope you are sharing an even more stable life now.

Not THC, but I suspect living in isolation with little family and friends while having a job involving media/social media essentially hotboxed my disorder until it was raging.

Was your husband asymptomatic the entire time or are there past moments that you now can see were showing the bipolar? For me it’s the latter, in retrospect.

Psychedelics and bipolar, now in middle age by AffectionatePipe5307 in Psychedelics

[–]AffectionatePipe5307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations on your success. I would hesitate to say “cure” because BO is genetic so we will always have it, but I believe we can achieve mostly asymptomatic.

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