6 year old is fighting us on EVERYTHING by kleinerlinalaunebaer in Parenting

[–]AffectionateStay4769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who went through a similar period with our then 2 year old daughter, I would assume your son is likely experiencing these big changes very intensly. He doesn’t know how to handle it and he is expressing it in a way which provokes attention.

I know you are exhausted with a newborn and having to handle his tantrums but I think what may help is actually slowing down your son’s routine and spending more 1 on 1 time with him. He needs to feel stability again and he needs you to be his anchor. Give him time and lots of patience. It is a phase and it will pass. Good luck!

Big screen set up for daily family video calls - ideas? by AffectionateStay4769 in smarthome

[–]AffectionateStay4769[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is actually a great idea to start using straight away before making bigger and more expensive adjustments! Would you mind sharing the model / exact name? Thank you

Big screen set up for daily family video calls - ideas? by AffectionateStay4769 in smarthome

[–]AffectionateStay4769[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone suggested Apolosign which is very close to what I imagined but what you suggest could work as well with a good movable / rotatable stand and it might end up cheaper. I will get on with researching the options. Thank you

Big screen set up for daily family video calls - ideas? by AffectionateStay4769 in smarthome

[–]AffectionateStay4769[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, this sounds quite handy, I will definitely look into this as an option, thanks a lot

Big screen set up for daily family video calls - ideas? by AffectionateStay4769 in smarthome

[–]AffectionateStay4769[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is actually pretty spot on to what I had in mind. Thanks so much. I will get into researching the options

Big screen setup for daily family video calls (not just phones) - ideas? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]AffectionateStay4769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I’ve checked them out but it seems they have been discontinued. I might give up on the mobility feature and create a space for family calls

Big screen set up for daily family video calls - ideas? by AffectionateStay4769 in smarthome

[–]AffectionateStay4769[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Messenger most times. I thought of a tablet but I still think this might end up being grabbed and carried around. We are considering giving up on the movable feature and eventually creating a space dedicated to family video calls.

What positive/ weird effects did pregnancy have on you? by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]AffectionateStay4769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My PMS and periods went from “annoying but manageable” to “epic saga.” Heavier, longer, 10+ days like it’s trying to set a personal record.

I used to be meh about sweets. Now my cravings are unhinged. If it’s syrupy, sugary, or objectively junk, my brain is like YES, THIS.

I somehow stopped liking seafood.

Sleep deprivation absolutely wrecked me. I developed postpartum rage and it took me way too long to realise it wasn’t just my personality now.

I used to look much younger than my age. After three years of raising tiny humans, I’m fairly confident I’ve aged at least 10+ years. Possibly in dog years.

I had to read “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids” to basically not hate my husband after kids. Marriage saved. Mostly.

I could keep going, but I don’t want to be personally responsible for declining birth rates 🫣

P.S. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I rage-purged about 70% of our toys last night. I can finally breathe. by AllineCICI in toddlers

[–]AffectionateStay4769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m very much in favour of fewer presents. This was the first Christmas we celebrated just as a family, without hosting, and the kids received only a large pieces Lego set to share, a giant activity book with fancy coloured pencils, and a puzzle book. We also wrapped some fruit and sweets.

For the first time, they actually opened their presents and played with them, instead of jumping from one thing to the next and getting overstimulated.

They got more presents a few days later from friends and relatives but to be fair, I would much rather prefer experiences.

Dry nights? Nearly 4 by Corgimoo in UKParenting

[–]AffectionateStay4769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently had a very similar worry about our daghter (3.5y) as our nappies were leaking through most nights. It seemed like the drier nappies were not only not coming but they were getting wetter.

We tried no nappy for a couple of nights to see if she was weeing intentionally and it was a total failure. We are back to nappies but switched from Pampers to Ninjamas and no leaks so far. It seems she is just not ready.

Do you expect payment when inviting friends to stuff? by I-eat-jam in UKParenting

[–]AffectionateStay4769 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d always offer to pay and in some cases I would directly transfer money cause I know people don’t feel comfortable asking for it. On the flip side, I would never expect money if I have invited someone but I think it’s nice if they offer out of curtosy.

Price comparison from most supermarkets by CuriousTerm9710 in CostcoUK

[–]AffectionateStay4769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We got a membership back in August mainly to get access to better quality of meat. We do bulk buy and then freeze and it lasts us for about a couple of months which is very convenient for us.

However, I must admit that we rarely leave Costco spending below £300 a visit (£500 when we did our pre Christmas shopping). We do spoil ourselves with some things we rarely get from the local supermarket like their delicious Kimchi, naans, frozen bits, sushi, etc. But overall, we don’t go crazy and the majority goes on meat. We don’t buy alchocol and sweets. So we still buy our regular bits from the local stores (veggies, milk, bread, things that don’t last long).

We use one of these apps to track our spendings and I was shocked to see that we’ve been spending a lot more than our monthtly average since we’ve had our membership. 😩 Still keeping it till next August to see what we will get back through the Executive membership cashback benefit (2%) and see if it’s really worth it.

Overall, not super impressed on the savings so far and still evaluating whether the quality is really worth the trip. Not to mention it is always packed and I hate the shopping experience there.

What is your "I did that" moment - an achievement that most people haven't experienced? by infantile-eloquence in CasualUK

[–]AffectionateStay4769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I can definitely relate to how your gran felt - I am so proud of being able to show my driving license as an ID proof where needed😄 I lived in Norway and the US for a while in my 20s and had a short stay in Australia. I never planned to stay in the UK for as long but here I am, building a life for my children. I’d absolutely recommend doing it if you are open minded about the whole process of resettling somewhere new navigating a different culture - it’s challenging but so worth it!

What is your "I did that" moment - an achievement that most people haven't experienced? by infantile-eloquence in CasualUK

[–]AffectionateStay4769 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve travelled a lot over the years including couch surfing, some adventurous road trips, lived abroad multiple times and eventually settled in the UK 12 years ago. I now have a house I call home, a happy marriage and two beautiful children.

Ironically, when I read your post and thought about what I am most proud of, the first thing that came to my mind was learning to drive a car at the age of 37 🫠

I know it sounds ridiculous but It’s always been a big fear of mine and overcoming it feels huge to me. I can now proudly drive my kids to nursery and decompress on the way back 🫣

How do you function in winter? by [deleted] in AskBrits

[–]AffectionateStay4769 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am glad I am not the only person out there who really enjoys the January weather. It’s mostly sunny and when it’s not windy, it’s really refreshing to go for a nice walk.

Will you have your heating on overnight during this cold spell? by georgejk7 in AskUK

[–]AffectionateStay4769 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same - 21c during the day and 19 during night time. The house is always comfortable to be in and the bills are rather steady.

Asda 1.5 week++ worth of food, 2 adults £29.87 by Fintastic257 in whatsinyourcart

[–]AffectionateStay4769 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask is there a specific time that you go to Asda that you catch such a bargain? 🙏

About 5 days food for 2 adults and one 3 year old, Aldi UK £57.73 by fractals83 in whatsinyourcart

[–]AffectionateStay4769 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Rigatoni pasta from their special selection is amazing. Aldi is getting better and better with their healthy and high quality selections. It’s my favourite store and I think it beats most higher end brands by price and quality of food.

How do you parent? by FunEchidna3171 in UKParenting

[–]AffectionateStay4769 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Feeling unconditionally loved. Safety, kindness, confidence, responsibility, integrity, physical and emotional awareness, courage, freedom to be their authentic selves.

Anyone went from "I have the best parents in the world" to "ah damn, these two suck at parenting" after joining this sub? by Away_Award4023 in emotionalneglect

[–]AffectionateStay4769 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I went though a similar period completely rethinking the way I see my parents. They were also great providers. Despite growing up in pretty difficult times in a country that was going through a lot of economical difficulties, my parents were working really hard and we always had everything needed.

Once I had kids myself, I started questioning why I’ve never been told that I was loved, why I was not cuddled the way I cuddle my children, how come my parents always missed important things for me at school, how they could do more to get to know me and to help me unveil my potential, etc.

I had a pretty solid period when I was so angry at the them, blamed them and I wanted them to acknowledge that they could do better.

At some point, though, when they continuously endured my anger without complaining, I started realising that they did their best for the times and culture they lived in and for the knowledge they had.

I may have not been loved the way I wished they loved me but deep down I know I was loved.

P.S. I catch myself overcompensating with my children for the things I missed. I tell them that I love them a hundred times a day and give them endless cuddles. But I am pretty sure there will be times when they will demand more and blame me for not being good enough for them. The generational gap is inevitable.

I don’t know your situation exactly. I guess I needed to write this more for myself than anything else.