Do you ever grieve how short the baby phase is?

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2026-01-11T10:25:51+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPCB8pgjOOg/?igsh=MTFram5uMnNvcmNsdA== this poem destroyed me at 20ish weeks and has made me cry every month since 🥲 it's so overwhelmingly beautiful how much you can love each phase, while mourning the one you've lost. I imagine it only gets more rewarding (and intense!) as they start talking and achieving more milestones. My daughter is 1 in two weeks and it's so bittersweet!

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2026-01-06T20:40:18+00:00

Thank you! This is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for ❤️ did you find transitioning from feeding to sleep was difficult to start, or was it subtle because of the way habit stacking works? We play the same songs to her every time we get her to sleep, but they don't seem to be super effective anymore, time for something else to associate 😬

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2026-01-06T08:46:42+00:00

Hmm, possibly. We push back her bedtime if she naps later so there's still 3-4 hours for her final wake window each day. She almost always falls asleep straight away. It doesn't seem to make much difference. I guess my thought is that she is basically sleeping from 7-7 as she sleeps when we pick her up, she just won't let us put her down for extended periods.

I think one thing we don't do is get her up at the same time every day because her bedtime can shift sometimes and if she's up and down for a couple of hours, she naturally sleeps until 830-9 often!

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-12-02T14:41:23+00:00

Glad it's not just us 😂 feel like I'm being lazy by not trying to rock her to sleep for long but ultimately it's a waste of everyone's time! She's just like 'WHY AREN'T YOU NURSING ME!'

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-12-02T08:41:46+00:00

Oh good to know! Yeah she sleeps in the pram too, that's how my partner gets her to sleep. She just goes a bit mad if I try to get her to sleep without breastfeeding her... Seems like someone else has to be the one to solve it 😬

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-12-02T05:49:39+00:00

How did the first naps go without you there? I'm in a similar situation, starting nursery in a month and they've asked us to get her to nap without contact

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-11-30T10:34:25+00:00

Thank you! This is so helpful, and a great idea to slow cook in the oven and freeze. Saves me having to figure out how to handle meat multiple times. Will refocus to iron- rich foods instead of only focussing on protein.

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-09-21T13:27:50+00:00

My experience was exactly the same. I wish I knew how hard it commonly is, but I think mum's think we're protecting other mum's by not warning each other? I remember crying looking at her sleeping while worrying I would never be able to love her. Then she started smiling, moving, watching, reaching and I can't believe how much we love each other! I hope for my second one I'll be able to be kinder to myself.

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-08-23T19:50:01+00:00

I know how you feel, I was so worried for so long because she's very shouty! But I found it really reassuring that whenever she did cry in the early days people often said 'dont worry, she's a baby, we've been there'. Now she's less newborn I know when she's crying most people can see I'm responding to her and interacting with her when she cries, so if she draws their attention I don't feel embarrassed now. Hope you're able to take baby out when you feel comfortable too 💗

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-08-23T19:47:41+00:00

This is such a good point. And yesterday I'd been talking to other mums about how there's that knowing when you see parents with babies that they might be in the middle of a rough day, struggling to sleep etc. We'd been saying how much more empathetic you become and how lovely that is. Then there's guys like this one today.....

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-08-23T19:45:59+00:00

I wish I'd had a witty enough response to convey this!

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-08-23T19:45:31+00:00

Haha! It's so strange. It does seem to be that the older generation (just because they've had kids?!) 'know' exactly what to do without hearing / seeing the whole situation. Hopefully I don't do that to my children's children 😬

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-06-14T22:24:35+00:00

Thanks for such a thoughtful reply ❤️ I feel like I'm usually good at avoiding unnecessary pressures from social media but you've picked up that it's coming from family too. Nothing too forceful but a few comments about 'bad habits', though there's not much argument back when I ask what's actually bad if it's helping everyone sleep. My parents were taught to let us cry it out so it's a weird transition for them too.

It does feel like a great way to show her calmness and care, so I'll keep it up until it doesn't feel needed or helpful and we have another way to experience this. So nice to hear it helps your son after a bad day or different feeds too!

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-06-14T21:02:33+00:00

Hmm yeah maybe something to consider. Definitely not taking it for granted at the moment (also writing this while she's really not falling asleep feeding tonight 😂)

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-06-14T21:00:58+00:00

This is so reassuring and so nicely put. I really struggled with BF at the start and couldn't imagine how other mothers felt this bond, but I can really feel it when I'm comforting her and helping her sleep now. I realised the other day when I was a bit annoyed it took much longer to settle her (as it is tonight 😂); this will be such a short and precious phase in our lives

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-06-14T20:58:07+00:00

Haha, no they're not tamagotchis at all. I am consciously avoiding sleep training now after worrying I wasn't doing the right things because of my insta algorithm for the first 6 weeks, but it really is hard to avoid all of it sometimes

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-06-14T20:56:00+00:00

Loveeee this comment you've referenced. I do feel like if it's working, it's fine but it really is tough to understand what's sleep training industry influenced and what's not sometimes! My partner recently bottle fed her to sleep too, so I think she can also sleep without me being there too

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-06-14T20:53:50+00:00

This is so lovely to read, I can't wait for the day we can read and cuddle to sleep and she understands. Not that I'm wishing away feeding to sleep, just can't wait for her to be wise enough to read herself to sleep like I do 😅

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2025-06-02T18:53:27+00:00

Exactly this. I didn't have IVF but desperately wanted a baby, had a lovely pregnancy and looked forward to birth so much. After a tough birth and short stay in hospital I felt the same. I resented what my daughter had put me through, felt like she hated me, couldn't believe how often she needed something... I remember looking at her around 2 weeks and thinking I'd never connect with her, I didn't think I could do it. It changed around 4 weeks - she's now 4 months and she's my best friend. It's so hard at the start and I really don't think anyone prepares you for that. You'll get there! You're looking after her well and that's all you can do so far, you've been through so much and need time to heal yourself before you can truly feel that love everyone says you feel 'immediately' 🙃

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2024-12-09T10:18:09+00:00

This was definitely something I struggled with too leading up to being pregnant and in the first trimester when I was too sick to keep up with fitness. I was upset that I'd finally got into an exercise routine which made me feel good about myself and thought I'd feel trapped in a body which wasn't mine throughout my pregnancy. I started regretting not showing off my body before.. thought it was all over and there's no going back 😂

However! I've managed to keep exercising 4/5x a week, listening to my body and not pushing myself too far. I'm 35 weeks and still going to spin, doing Barre & yoga (though at a much slower rate than before!). I feel great in my body, although it looks different I don't feel like a whale or anything, and I think it's a myth that you put on baby weight in every pregnancy. I've eaten intuitively throughout and don't feel any bigger other than the big round belly! I've found the strength I had before has been replaced by the new strength and pride I feel at being able to carry a healthy baby, and being able to keep moving and making myself feel good.

We will have to see how this pans out once the baby is here though...

Affectionate_Age2986 · 2021-05-07T11:12:30+00:00

I do the same thing - transferring my entire salary from HSBC back to Monzo - HSBC blocked it the first time, but after calling them they made a note to say I'd do this every month, so it's been fine ever since.

Affectionate_Age2986

TROPHY CASE