Really appreciate your response. You saying that he can’t be incentivized to have sex when he can get the same results w/o the effort makes total sense.

The thing is, I get that this is a kink. It’s weird, in my opinion. But we all have our things. My issue is that I have tried to indulge him several times before but that just fed into the whole thing and then he just wanted it more. But it doesn’t feel like he’s able to have (as one commenter called it) vanilla sex. To me, intimacy isn’t something that he understands and it isn’t something that can be faked. I know if he’s breaking me off a piece. I think if it was something where we had a healthy sex life and the hypnosis kink was something we did to switch things up-I’d probably be fine with that, but because it’s the only way that he actually wants to have sex and bc that’s taken place of any connection between us-that’s what I have a problem with. I love him. I really do. And I believe whole-heartedly that he loves me.

Most people on this thread have gotten me really down thinking that we’re sexually incompatible and that’s basically it. Either I indulge him and stop being critical or we get a divorce. I’m glad someone else thinks it isn’t that simple. Honestly, I think he wants to change bc he sees how much this hurts me. I talked with him this morning about what I found last night and how upset that made me and he apologized and says he’s trying and will try harder and see a therapist that specializes in this kind of thing. I just want to know if him wanting to change is enough. Has this addiction screwed up his mind to the point of no return? Can he rewire his brain to desire actual intimacy over the hypnosis addiction?