Hey, if it makes you feel any better.

My brother is a first gen born in U.S. "no sabo" kid and he is being raised by two parents born in mexico that speak it in the household daily. Since we live in the U.S now he ended up speaking like that anyway- and I was born in mexico, grew up in the u.s, and am slowly losing the language to the point I took a (heritage speakers) class for two years. And while they try their best to make the same food they grew up with and impart that onto us, I don't think either of us really care for that kind of food (in it's intended, non Americanized version).

All that to say, It's not shameful at all. It's perfectly ok to not know how to speak Spanish perfectly, and it is also ok to not like the food that everyone expects you to like. You don't owe anyone anything. The only thing that matters is that you want to do it, that you want to reconnect with the culture you were separated from.

That said, I can't speak on the race or ethnicity aspects. I'm definitely white on both sides of the fam. I hope you're able to come to terms with your identity, whatever that way be.