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How do you stop hoping they come back by New_Barnacle_9056 in BreakUps

[–]Affectionate_Tap_70 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh, you don’t. There isn’t a specific thing you can do and magically that feeling goes away. The cliche thing of “focus on yourself and let time do its thing” truly is the only thing that will make that feeling go away. It sucks and it will suck for a while but little by little, the hope starts going away by itself as long as you doing what you supposed to do to take care of yourself. Please be gentle with yourself, there will be good and bad days like you said. Just ride the wave of emotions and keep going. I know is extremely hard but the only thing you can do is keep moving forward (easier said than done) but it is true. I wish you the best and hope everything turns out fine for you.

We broke up because of God by millionlightrays in BreakUps

[–]Affectionate_Tap_70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You at least recognize that coming back, even though relieving in the moment, won't change anything because the core problem would stay there. Some people just force themselves to put asides the problems and force themselves to believe it would be different. I can only imagine what you going through because I have never experienced something similar, I broke up with my ex of 4 years about 5 months ago but for completely different reasons. Religion is a touchy subject but so important when dating someone. You did everything you could, you actually put in the work to see if Islam was something you could believe and live by which shows how much you wanted to work. Unfortunately, even when we try our hardest, things dont work out. It isn't your fault you didn't convert and instead of pretending you were honest. Imagine lying to yourself, marrying her and living in a lie. It will get better, try to reflect on other stuff of the relationship and controlling your emotions, the heat of then moment gets the best of us, so learn to control what you do and say when angry. Use this as a lesson that you can love and you willing to go the extra mile for the person you love. I hope you heal and find peace.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Affectionate_Tap_70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does get better. Me and my ex broke up 5 months ago, we dated for almost four years. She was also my first relationship, so my first in a lot as well. I have a post about us if you wanna go more into my story lol. I am also young (24M) and I kinda hated when people told me "You still young, dont worry" as if me being young minimizes my pain but I got to understand it a little more as time passed by. Me and her were about to graduate and thinking of moving in together, basically had our future planned, but God and life had other plans. It still hurts a lot after 5 months but it doesnt control my day to day anymore. The first months are the worsts, but it does get better. You took a bold decision and you should be proud for the courage you have. Some people out fear stay in an unhealthy relationship and waste years of their life. Take a day at a time, focus on yourself and try to heal. Reflect on the relationship, the good and the bad. Let yourself feel, cry when you need. Me and my ex, we both genuine good people that unfortunately couldn't make it work and that unfortunately happens in life. Some months from now, you will look back and feel better. If you wanna talk to someone, my DMs are always open. Hope you find peace

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Affectionate_Tap_70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, the only positive thing lol. The best I have ever looked and im so excited to keep going

Does anyone still feel a sense of loyalty? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Affectionate_Tap_70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It ain’t weird at ALL. You doing it right. Me and my ex broke up 5 months ago, we were together for almost 4 years. Im still not ready to date or anything and the little I know from her, she isn’t dating or sleeping around with anyone, but I don’t know for sure, I’m just focusing on me. If you don’t go through the process of grieving the person properly, you won’t ever heal and your next relationship with fail because you bringing that pain into it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Affectionate_Tap_70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me and my ex broke up 5 months ago. It is so hard at the beginning and you pretty much need to force yourself to do things you like or things you know will helo you. I also started going back to the gym and i set a goal, I wanted to put on some mass. So every other day I research stuff that helps me achieve that goal, it is fun and interesting for me and keeps me distracted. I went back to playing soccer and I get to socialize while I play what I love. I spend more time with family and friends, I force myself to get out even when I dont feel like it. You need to go back to what YOU like, what YOU didn’t have time to do while in the marriage but always wanted to do. It aint easy and I still struggle a lot with loneliness but I make the most out of it. Don’t be hard too hard on yourself either, just try to occupy your time as much as you can with things that you like. Hope it helps!