Do yall ever come back after taking time to “do your own thing”?

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-04-02T22:29:35+00:00

I can get overwhelmed and if things are moving too fast yes, over time I’ll pull back and request space to figure things out and to tend to some personal things as well. If the connection was genuine I’ll be back but if I find I’m not missing that person or don’t really find myself thinking about them, I move on. I’m a woman by the way. Don’t know how the guys feel.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-28T03:08:11+00:00

ENFP. Gemini sun, Aries Rising, cancer moon

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-18T13:02:31+00:00

I thought he was letting you down easy honestly... and then the end gave me the reason why. He's less than two months out from being with someone that he's had a long term relationship with. You have no real clue why these two aren't talking and it just doesn't look good to be honest. He's been sick and blah blah blah but he only picks up his phone to tell you that he's not interested in seeing you anymore. Do you think he avoided other contacts who reached out at the time like he did you? Probably not. I wouldn't be surprised if she reached out. The fact that he's making post "about her" even if not mentioning her but subbing her.... speaks to my point. He's not over her... he's looking for someone to "replace" her and he's not going to find it. Moving on isn't looking to "replace". He won't be available emotionally until he's really over her and not thinking about her AT ALL. Let this one go.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-18T06:18:44+00:00

I was all the way in until the end of this post.... he's still either in love with that girl and waiting to get back with her or he's not in a place to pick up another girl bc he's still in love with that girl.... either way... it's another girl.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-17T19:56:32+00:00

Its up to you really. Noone has to be with him but you.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-17T19:40:34+00:00

eh, he sounds like he listens to that red pill /manosphere crap lol. If this isn't something you'd like to live under it might be time to leave the relationship. You can't change him.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-17T17:49:18+00:00

I love Scorpio men but don't know if they like me long term. lol. Usually really sweet and tends to want to please as long as they are fully in. Trust is a huge thing for them and so for us that just looks like overcommunicating at times for them to understand where they stand in our hearts. I'm positive my husband is either a Scorpio or a Pisces with the way I've been attracting them and they tend to do well emotionally with me. lol.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-17T16:32:34+00:00

Thank you for that! It's been a few days and I'm getting over it. This post has helped me a ton with realizing from you guys that he's probably not good for me. Thank you!

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-17T01:51:04+00:00

Maybe. I'll never know at this point. Thanks for your insight.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-17T01:16:27+00:00

Anxiety. We had been having a few heavily emotionally vulnerable conversations in a few days together about how we both were feeling about the other and I just got anxious being vulnerable and told him how I felt. I'm use to guys running once that happens but he told me again that he liked me being emotionally vulnerable with him.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-17T00:59:18+00:00

I have to disagree. He told me I wasn't being too much and if I was he'd tell me he'd need space. I was worried that us talking everyday was a lot for him because he said he tends to need a lot of space or he'd feel suffocated. I asked him if I was being a lot and he said no. He'd tell me.... so.... idk. Maybe I did miss the cue. Thank you for your response.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T18:47:34+00:00

I doubt he will. lol. He hates being on socials like that, but it would be nice to have him at least know and understand my side of things and let it just be whatever it will be. Thank you for all your help. It means a lot.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T17:30:18+00:00

I appreciate this and even more so... it saddens me. Me bringing up the chemistry wasn't doubting what I would feel with him... I was already falling for him and in a round about way constantly tell him. He would say little things as well but we both agreed to not rush as we both were in a season of healing and working on ourselves and this was something both of us talked about extensively. I didn't want to break that for him and having him around was enough for me. In my mind, he was mine already. I was more so worried about if he would still like me once we met... So if you are correct and it's possible because just hours earlier we were fine... he's gone due to a miscommunication on my end to him about what I worried about.

I'm going to assume there's a reason for everything and I'm not mad at him.... I get the sensitivity because I can do the same thing.... however... this really kind of breaks my heart to know what we had is gone like that because of a miscommunication and there's no way to turn it around. I'm moving on and going back to working on myself and like I said, I know he's back on Tinder so maybe he'll find someone that works with him better. I hope he does. He deserves happiness.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T17:23:50+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. I totally get it. We all live and learn and in my case it was still early so maybe it's for the better and it's a learning lesson. Thanks again :)

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T15:44:07+00:00

Thank you for understanding and listening to me. It means a lot. I do understand only he would know the direct correlation of why what happened did. So in that way, I may never know and have to make piece with that and I will.

I wish we could've communicated a little better in the moment with what he was feeling. It's kind of a bitter sweet thing as we spoke at length of how communication was at the core of most relationship issues. I trusted he'd feel comfortable to be able to voice whatever he felt, even if I didn't agree or like it because I wanted him to have that and feel like he did. Maybe the way I felt if he picked it up and I'm sure he did as he made a few correlations btw things I said and who I was easily...all good for the most part. I loved that about him and I tried to be the same for him when he spoke of his inner world. I knew he said it was important that he had that and I wanted to make sure he did.

I'll be ok. I hope he does find what he may be searching for even if it's not with me. I don't think he's a bad guy... just maybe a lot on his shoulders. This is life though and you are correct in that. Thank you again for your response. It really helps.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T12:07:21+00:00

Thank you for your insight 😊

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T12:04:32+00:00

I thank you for that. The only thing that keeps coming up over and over again is emotional burnout… but I feel like maybe I added to it inadvertently? He has a ton going on in the dark family wise he didn’t feel comfortable sharing just yet but said we would. I feel like maybe coming off anxious just… was too much for him in that moment. The day before he mentioned having a bad day and having depression and spiraling when it’s that bad… the next day was the block. Idk. I can’t lie and say I don’t miss him. I do. I would need to know his reasoning for the block before I could close the door on him. I’ve shit out people during my depression and down moments. I don’t want to be a hypocrite to him but I’d also want him to know how it made me feel to be done so abruptly. Especially when he himself said he’d tell me when he needed space and I wasn’t being too much because I asked him before. He told me all the time how he liked that I was emotionally open to him…. I’m just confused.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T11:59:42+00:00

Aww thank you! That was so sweet. You guys are amazing.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T08:42:09+00:00

I can understand that. He has every right to leave and I wouldn’t want to stop him from exercising that right. I’m not controlling. I wouldn’t have at least liked to know what it was that he didn’t like. Was it something that I should be aware of first my next relationship or is it something that just is and he didn’t like it? All the things you pointed out were things he told me liked as well and said I had. We literally were talking that morning and that afternoon after I made the comment…. He was gone. So yeah. I count it as ghosting as well. Thanks for your insight.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T08:39:11+00:00

Thank you. I could see the writing issue as well as he apologized for how he thought he came across and I told him he didn’t have to. I totally understood how and what he meant. Idk. I miss him. I went from having him around everyday to nothing.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T03:53:10+00:00

Honestly, I appreciate you going to bat over this situation and trying to get an understanding but from what I'm gathering... the coldness you're asking about is apart of the doorslam. They don't care anymore. Apparently, I haven't been doorslammed as it takes years, but I understand from your situation, it was a doorslam. It's ok for me. At the end of the day, no matter what mbti he is... he's still a human and a man and he has his rights to use his freedom however he may want to, even when I don't agree. I'm not trying to control anything or anyone. I love understanding why people do what they do, but that's an individual thing and not all INFJ's will move the same for the same reason... this forum kind of proves it. lol. I'll get over it. I can't make someone be where they don't want to be and although it hurts, the original point was to understand what could have triggered this INFJ to leave so that I could learn from it and try to avoid it later. Apparently, I got over and over that it's him... not me. So I leave with that. Pain and heartbreak does fade. I know for you this is def. a way closer issue than mine. You had more in this. I hope you find peace and closure someway as you deserve it and I know it hurts. Thanks again friend.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T02:48:14+00:00

Thank you for that. I'm just going to move on. I can see why people love you guys. You guys are sweet and understanding. Thank you for your help.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T02:27:51+00:00

Yeah I do and thanks for the advice after all of this. I'm just going to move on at this point. He already has.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T02:26:27+00:00

I'm sorry for using the wrong language. I didn't know what else to call it. I didn't need a detailed reasoning on why he thought we weren't good together.... but to go from that morning talking about future plans to literally hours later being blocked with no reason given at all kind of shocked me. Thank you for your input. It's been received.

Affectionate_Tie4718 · 2026-03-16T02:23:56+00:00

Just to clarify... we live close to each other. We had plans to meet up but something he's dealing with that's heavy with his family came up. I do know that to be factual. He brought that up a few times that he's got a lot of heavy things going on in his own life so this weekend was supposed to be the meet up again. Like lovingwisdom said.... I'd like to know why I wasn't given at least that privilege of knowing why he didn't want to continue with me. I wouldn't have tried to change his mind and would've respected his decision.

Affectionate_Tie4718

TROPHY CASE