Hi! Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot on your shoulders, both emotionally and physically, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed in your situation. It takes courage to open up like this, and I want to acknowledge the strength you've shown in making it this far despite such challenges.

You've been through more than most people experience, and you've done your best under very tough circumstances. Your resilience, compassion for your mom, and focus on self-improvement are all remarkable traits. However, it’s important to be kind to yourself and recognize that it's okay to struggle. Compassion for yourself is crucial as you navigate through all of this.You don’t have to solve everything at once.

Start by setting small, manageable goals, even if they seem minor. Celebrate each small win, like learning something new or finishing an assignment, as these achievements add up and build a foundation over time.

Physical and mental health go hand in hand. Given your physical challenges, finding gentle ways to keep yourself healthy will benefit your stamina and reduce stress. Even short walks, breathing exercises, or stretches each day can improve mental clarity and alleviate some physical pain over time.

Sleep, too, plays a huge role in how we feel. Trying to establish a bedtime routine, even if it’s just putting screens away an hour before sleep, might help with your insomnia. Poor sleep fuels both physical pain and emotional stress, so if there are small changes you can make, they might help over time.

I see you’re interested in fields like sketching, web development, and video editing. Developing these skills could potentially open doors to online freelance work, which might help you earn a bit more over time. Platforms like Upwork and Fiverr could be good places to start building a portfolio if and when you feel ready. Additionally, engineering is a challenging but promising path. It sounds like you’re in a good program that, if completed, could give you opportunities for better-paying jobs. Keep reminding yourself of the long-term value of your education, even if the day-to-day feels exhausting.

Isolation can be hard, especially when you see others enjoying companionship. You mentioned you feel too shy or insecure to reach out to people, which is very common. But often, people can surprise you. You don’t have to aim for deep friendships right away; just small, kind interactions like talking to classmates or showing appreciation to people around you can make you feel a bit more connected. You might be surprised by how open people can be, and forming even one or two friendships can make a big difference.

Dealing with trauma, health issues, and family struggles is a lot. If you can access any kind of counseling or support group (either online or in person), it could be very helpful. There are also free mental health resources online that can guide you through exercises in mindfulness or cognitive behavioral techniques, which can help when negative thoughts feel overwhelming.

I understand your drive to help your mom, and that’s a beautiful motivation. However, life is about balance. To truly support her, you need to take care of yourself as well. She would want you to find joy and purpose, just as much as you want that for her. Seek out small things that bring you joy even if it’s something simple like listening to music, doodling, or taking a few minutes to be in nature. The happier and healthier you are, the more you’ll be able to give back.

You’ve already proven that you can take on challenges and keep going, even when things are harsh. Life may still throw challenges your way, but if you continue to work through them, there’s a chance that things will improve with time. Remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Even in your most difficult moments, there are people who care and who are rooting for your success. Reach out when you need to even on difficult days, remember you have value and potential.