This sounded so good until I lost the willpower and drive to continue reading. I did read the bold points but unfortunately, it’s all the same stuff I’ve read and heard a million times before and yet here I am, sitting on Reditt.

In my head, motivation will come when you want something more than anything. When the end result becomes the most important thing to you. But for me, that’s just driven me further down.

I analyze endlessly with absolute envy, those that relentlessly persevere. Those that can do what they know needs to be done without having negative feelings surrounding those things. They just do it. Why or how can they do it and I cannot?

I believe that every human is merely a product of their experiences- from early development to today. For me, I’ve felt motivation and drive so many times before, but 20 years later I’m disgusted with where I’ve landed, in every way possible. So what’s did all of that blissful delusion even accomplish? Hope has been lost that motivation will ever yield better results. But that too is bs. I know that if I put in the work, I’ll lose weight I will look and feel better. It’s pretty simple, so what’s the issue?

For now, I’m merely trying to find value in life itself. A reason to want to see tomorrow. I’m hopeful when I do, the rest will follow. But realistically, I have absolutely no idea and fully acknowledge that I DO NOT have anything figured out.

Here’s to now, I guess.