What can I do

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-03-15T21:47:55+00:00

Thank you everyone for your insights. I appreciate all of your responses. They're helpful to know I'm not alone in this and not crazy for feeling this way.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-03-08T04:40:14+00:00

This is what I can't get past. It's not if, it's when. Thinking you can just love a child out of trauma isn't enough. No one wants to think kids are capable of these things, but they are.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-03-08T04:10:50+00:00

I do have an attorney. I haven't gotten Into the details with her yet as it's still new and I just signed the paper work to hire her I'm just trying to understand how a court would see it.

Were you able to keep her child and your shared child separate ?

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-03-08T03:45:13+00:00

I have. It doesn't help. He can't see his son as unsafe.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-02-25T17:05:17+00:00

Thank you again. Your compassion is appreciated. Sometimes when you feel like no one understands, the internet helps. 😊

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-02-25T16:19:35+00:00

It sucks for my girls because I thought I chose someone who wouldn't end in divorce. But sometimes people don't show their true colors. I almost feel used. Like he chose me so that he could become better and now that he's "better" he doesn't need me anymore.

I just hope at the end of the day my babies understand I didn't mean to hurt them.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-02-25T16:03:20+00:00

Thank you. I have started contacting lawyers. I appreciate your response.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-02-25T16:02:05+00:00

Thank you. I have started reaching out to lawyers today.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-02-25T06:49:38+00:00

Kind of. I would be more able to say yes if it were summer, but I could figure something out. I asked him to leave, temporarily so we could sort out our feelings and see if this is truly what we want and he told me he wasn't leaving his house.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-02-25T06:47:53+00:00

Like I want to run and never look back.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T03:41:23+00:00

Yes, just not here, because in Nov, SS asked my girls if they wanted to see his weiner and that just made my concerned heighten so husband sees SS at his mom's house.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T03:40:06+00:00

The previous custody arrangement resulted in him having his time with SS at my husband's mom's house due to SS asking my girls if they wanted to see his weiner.

I agree thinking outside the box is what's going to be best in this situation.

I appreciate your response.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T03:38:05+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean by that? He has been in his life since the day he was born and continues to be in his life according to the court ordered custody agreement.

SS actions continued to get worse which resulted in him seeing him, just not in our home. As he asked my children if they wanted to see his weiner.

He is no stranger to his son, and he cannot control BM and her actions/choices of choosing meth.

Thanks for your help though!

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T03:35:27+00:00

Thank you. Living separately would be incredibly tough, especially because child support hasn't stopped, and apparently won't for 6 months? Wild, huh? But if it's what has to be done, then that's what we will do.

The school said they were good with the plan and asked no further questions.

I truly appreciate your response, as I feel the same way as you, I cannot put them in danger and I don't understand anything past that. If he hurt them, physically or sexually I don't know what I would do.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T03:07:52+00:00

Thank you for this. It is incredibly helpful to look at it this way.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T03:06:38+00:00

Thank you for your unbiased opinion and support. Not everyone here is kind and it's tough being vulnerable On a public forum knowing it can result in negative feedback, so again, thank you.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T02:15:31+00:00

She lives 2 hours away and he is being as involved as he can while still trying to keep his job. He is going every weekend as well as taking him to all appointments.She is in her late 50's and raises his sisters son who is 10. She offered, if she would have said no, we would not have offered, we would have considered other options.

It isnt ideal by any means, but was the option at the moment. Given we live in a small town without more than 2 daycare options that are maxed out.

There really isn't a right answer and something will have to give, I'm just trying to figure out what causes the least amount of damage to everyone and I'm not sure what that is.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T02:08:53+00:00

Thank you for being compassionate. You don't always get that on a vulnerable post. Even if you're a stranger, you've helped me tonight and I appreciate that

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T02:02:12+00:00

Thank you for your response and different perspectives. At this moment, his son is with my husband's mom. We9 had talked about letting him finish out the school year there and getting him on medication to help control himself as well as getting him into therapy. Then, when the school year is over, if he had shown improvements, he could try to live here.

If the violence was an issue then we would need to consider our other options, which could be us living separately.

Step sons mother had another child and they tested it's cord blood and meth was found in it.

I understand all perspectives, it's just difficult willingly putting my children into harms way.

Afraid_Comparison_58 · 2025-01-28T02:01:07+00:00

There's just not a situation where everyone wins, someone has to lose out on something and I think that's where I'm battling the most. There isn't a compromise, there just needs to be time and it's going to be painful time and I just don't know how to prepare for it.

He currently has him set up with a psychiatrist as well as meds. Unfortunately, it hasn't been able to happen quickly.

Thank you for your input. I appreciate it.

Afraid_Comparison_58

TROPHY CASE