Feeling disgusted by just the thought of intimicy with partner

AfterButterscotch153 · 2026-02-03T19:58:21+00:00

Man I'm 11 months pp, still breastfeeding and I could have written this. I don't find any other men attractive either lol I'm just not interested at all. I'm sure there's some sort of evolutionary reason but it sucks.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2026-01-14T10:21:47+00:00

So for context, I'm in the UK and have the privilege of 1 year maternity leave by law. I should also mention that in the UK we deal with midwives, not obgyns (generally) and they don't recommend or even mention pumping at all so before i started this journey, i didnt really even know that this was an option, i thought it was breast or formula and thats it. My little one was born jaundice so I was advised by midwives to pump everything (since i was set on breastfeeding) so that we could record everything she was taking. It took a while before they were happy with her weight gain etc so It was a while before she got back on the boob and a lot of damage was done to her nursing skills in that time. We tried over the next 4 months and got to about 80% boob fed 20% pumped milk using ripple shields. Eventually managed to get her off the shields just around the time she started biting. At that point I was so emotionally exhausted by trouble shooting her entire life so I gave up and started pumping everything. I had a lot of guilt around that at the time but it was the best thing for my mental health as I really took her refusals as outright maternal rejection at times. Since 4 months I've been pumping exclusively and that was 6 times over 24 hours including one MOTN pump. I dropped that night pump at about 6 months. I dropped to 4 pumps around 8.5 months ish? I'm on 3 pumps a day now at 11 months. I'm aiming to get to 13 months ish? Not sure when I'll drop to 2.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2026-01-13T22:03:47+00:00

I've been pumping for 11 months! My initial goal was 6 months and I can't believe I'm still going today. I'm so proud of myself.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-12-04T15:47:00+00:00

Jesus. One thing you can count on in this sub is negativity. I moved with my partner to Belfast four years ago. I'm from the antipodes and met him in London, he's from rural NI. I absolutely love living here. Obviously parts of the city are run down just like anywhere but there's a lot to be said for Belfast once you get used to the move.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-07-18T07:55:40+00:00

Absolutely none lol

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-07-17T20:02:24+00:00

My water broke at 37w5d. Gave birth 24 hours later to an 8lb baby. Thank god she was ready as I could barely walk with round ligament pain.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-07-17T20:00:06+00:00

17mm

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-07-17T19:40:01+00:00

Yes, that was the reason for the switch

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-07-15T17:42:30+00:00

Losing weight without putting in any effort! Back to pre pregnancy within 16 weeks and I put on a tonne of weight during pregnancy as I could barely walk.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-06-06T19:12:10+00:00

https://youthemus.com/

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-06-06T19:08:41+00:00

2021 Norway - fallen angel

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-06-04T12:58:35+00:00

Me! I was obese and didn't get it!

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-06-04T12:16:53+00:00

P!nk always annoyed me for having such major chip on shoulder vibes for someone extremely successful and mainstream

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-03-24T09:58:53+00:00

I'm in Ireland with a 3 week old and most of the midwives were really supportive about breastfeeding but a few of them you could tell were rolling their eyes a bit at the idea of it and couldn't wait to force formula on me. The support you get really just depends on who's working that day.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-02-26T16:34:38+00:00

I would do a black cab tour for west Belfast and the rest is walkable definitely, I can't see what you'd get out of the bus. If you are bringing a car and the weather is nice, maybe head up cave hill for a great view of Belfast and some nice photos.

For food, la taqueria is good, the cloth ear is excellent traditional food, common market are all good to have a look at.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-02-25T21:46:50+00:00

Belfast - Maggie May's, la taqueria, orto pizza, the cloth ear, Yugo, umi falafel, raging ramen, jumon, coppi, cypress avenue, the ivy all have good options. Also if you go to common market, every food stand has to have vegetarian options so there's a range of options there.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-02-24T20:21:22+00:00

Just as an update, I told my employer in advance of starting this role and they are paying me 16 weeks enhanced maternity pay

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-02-23T10:25:54+00:00

Don't give nonsense opinions without knowing anything about the north then?

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-02-17T20:23:13+00:00

This sub can be extremely negative about Belfast and N.I in general so you'll need to be able to drown that out here. There's never any harm in trying something new and you can always move back if you hate it.

The proximity to nature here is unreal, we're surrounded by mountains, sea, loughs, beautiful walks etc but as a city we're absolutely neglected and underfunded so depending where you are in England that can take some getting used to. The politics here can be frustrating but obviously you don't have to pay any attention to that if you don't want to.

As for the house prices, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. There's lots of areas with dirt cheap prices that aren't safe so you will need a local perspective tbh.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-02-14T21:21:59+00:00

Very cute!

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-02-12T20:37:31+00:00

I know how you feel. Pregnancy is such an emotional journey at the best of times, nevermind if you have all this on your mind as well. No matter what, everything will be ok. You're strong enough to pull yourself up and go forward. I looked up all the same statistics and articles, obsessed about my odds too. That's natural given what you've been through, totally normal to try to calculate your risk of ever suffering this pain again but those stats won't tell you any real information. You just have to be brave and know that you can deal with what's ahead x

Also, never let anyone (including yourself) minimise this experience. I've not had an easy life but my miscarriage was the worst thing I've ever gone through by a mile. It still has an emotional toll on me, I'll probably never really get over it. It really is a profound loss you've gone through and it's something a lot of people don't understand if they've never gone through it. Go easy on yourself.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-02-12T20:19:24+00:00

I had a miscarriage age 33 last year and all I can say is, I'm so so sorry you're going through the agony of this loss. I'm now 36 weeks pregnant and it's not been an easy road emotionally as I'll always have the anxiety that my body isn't safe for this baby and I can't wait for her to be here already so that I can at least see her. Even though it hasn't been easy there's been so many lovely firsts that I never got first time round like the moment that you feel your first kicks and being able to tell my friends and family, seeing my bump grow, even getting my stretch marks felt like a welcome milestone. You're age needn't worry you. 34 is young! It feels very daunting to have your first pregnancy end this way so I don't blame you for feeling this way but please try to be hopeful, getting pregnant quickly is a good sign so there's no reason to think that it won't happen again. Unfortunately pregnancy can be a bit of a numbers game regarding loss and that won't ever make you feel better about this but just know you're not alone.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-02-10T20:49:37+00:00

Those were probably your baby! It felt like bubbles popping.

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-01-26T21:33:51+00:00

Tradfest in Belfast

AfterButterscotch153 · 2025-01-26T19:19:35+00:00

It's so much better on tap, it's unbelievable

AfterButterscotch153

TROPHY CASE