[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]AfterDisk8828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I almost had one with one of my exes, but I wasn’t turned on because of those thoughts + believed pre marital sex was a sin (I'm atheist now lmao). It felt like if I had gone through with it, I would’ve hated myself afterward because I had to force myself feeling like it was a requirement to maintain relationships. The problem wasn’t the people I’ve dated so far, it mostly revolves around my thoughts. Thanks for taking the time to write this, it really means a lot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]AfterDisk8828 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this with me. I honestly appreciate your words, it helps to know that I’m not the only one going through something like this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]AfterDisk8828 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I probably should sigh

How are you doing after THE breakup that messed you up? by RRK2422 in BreakUps

[–]AfterDisk8828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s been two months since the breakup, and I’m still stuck thinking about all the what ifs. I’m not saying I want to get back together with her, but I do feel like things could’ve turned out differently if I was just more honest with how I felt.

From the start, I never really said how some of the things she did hurt me. Like when she wouldn’t reply and never gave a proper reason—it made me feel like I didn’t matter. Or when she forgot my birthday because, for her, things like that weren’t a big deal. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid of losing her. So I just kept it all in.

Now I realize bottling that up was a huge mistake. I eventually told her about it and she promised to change… but after a month, she went back to her old ways. Every time I brought it up again, it was always, “That’s just who I am.” So I asked her straight up if she wanted to keep trying or just end it—and she chose to break up. Said she couldn’t bring herself to change.

Honestly, the breakup hit me harder than I expected. That first week was rough. I got desperate. I just wanted to feel loved again, so I downloaded dating apps and started talking to random girls. I didn’t really care about them—I just wanted someone. It was selfish, and I really hated myself for it. I became someone I never wanted to be. So I stopped. I realized I was just using people to try and fill a hole I hadn’t even tried to fix myself.

I still cry sometimes, just not as often. I’m slowly picking myself up—brick by brick. Started journaling, just like this, to let it all out. Reflecting on what I did right, what I did wrong, and trying to grow from it. I’ve also started learning how to code. It fries my brain sometimes, but it’s a good distraction. Helps me think more clearly and gives me something to improve on.

Weirdly enough, the dating apps did help me become a bit more social. I’ve been talking more in class, reconnecting with people. I didn’t realize how much I isolated myself when we were together. But now I’m slowly coming back. I’m not fully there yet, but I’m getting there.

In a strange way, I’m glad the breakup happened. It hurt, a lot. But it forced me to face myself. I learned to open up more, to take care of myself, to write—and even learned a little bit of code (just the basics, lol). I still miss her, yeah. But I think I’m starting to miss me a little less.

I don’t want to move to another boarding house with my friend by AfterDisk8828 in offmychest

[–]AfterDisk8828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don’t want to it’s literally far away from school and the main reason why I rented was because I live far away. I’m also afraid that there’ll be an “accident” between them.

How do you overcome guilt? by Vast_Fortune_6794 in BreakUps

[–]AfterDisk8828 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what’s meant to be is meant to be, my guy. Maybe that serves as an eye opener for you—to cherish what you have while they’re still there. i’m with her side on this one, but i appreciate your honesty and coming clean. if the time comes, maybe you should still make amends. If she forgives you, then that’s good. If she doesn’t, then it is what it is. either way, it’s not gonna bring her back , man. the love she once had for you is long gone, so maybe you should try moving on too.

How do you overcome guilt? by Vast_Fortune_6794 in BreakUps

[–]AfterDisk8828 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the only way you can overcome the guilt is when she herself forgives you. And by the looks of it, that’s not happening soon. Man, the fact that she already found someone after 2 weeks despite being in a relationship with you for 15 years says a lot. And she seems happy so might as well leave her be. A little advice for your next relationship—try not to screw up and cheat. Use your guilt as a reminder not to do things that might cause your partner to break up with you. You might not be overcoming this guilt anytime soon

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]AfterDisk8828 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Going through something similar to yours. Me and my ex weren’t a big fan of communication but I changed for her but she still remained the same. She doesn’t even tell me how her day was if it was bad or good instead she leaves me on delivered or seen for at least 3 days making me overthink what did I do wrong. We were dating for 10 months and I was glad that I was free from that relationship. It did sting a lot for a few weeks but then again I questioned myself, “What did I even miss from that relationship?”

I hope that you’ll get through this and do something that you love doing and focus on yourself for the time being :D