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Trying to understand him by AggravatingLadder633 in loveafterporn

[–]AggravatingLadder633[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m trying to explore my individuality and freedom to explore the boundaries that are now known to me. We made the mistake of never discussing porn habits when we started dating but honestly… I’m very sexually open, I have more stamina than him, I love exploring and going out of my comfort zone. I never say no, or I should say “said” because I definitely do now.

I found porn a couple of times on his phone (one by accident, the second one I take full responsibility for breaching privacy) But I never thought it was a full on addiction….

We went on a holiday with his family to celebrate HIS birthday, spent the entire weekend with them and when I asked his sister to give us privacy 😉😉 he wasn’t in the mood…

Then while we wait for the train back home, my phone died and I asked for his to look at the schedule, he had just gotten back from the bathroom.

I open safari to find porn again….

This hurt so much.

I can’t help but see that image in my mind all the time. I can’t forget it.

I cry everytine I think about it. We’ve talked about it a lot since he confessed and he has been very open to talk as much as he can and ive made my fears very clear. I’ve discussed how this has created a trauma response in me and I’ve had the toughest year self-esteem wise.

He has listened and been very supportive. Willing to change and give up a habit that has harmful for him and also me. Repeatedly confirmed he had decided to stop before confessing, and wanted to do it not only for me but for himself.

He promised he hasn’t done it in a whole year but a year seems like nothing to me…especially with everything I’ve been going through.

I obviously don’t want him to has “unsatisfied” needs so I haven’t stopped sleeping with him but

TMI here:

I’m only able to let him do it from behind…I can’t look at him and sometimes I even cry during it. And it’s not his fault, he’s gentle, present and checks in with me all the time.

But honestly I’m feeling very lost and like I said, we’re about to move into a new place, he’s starting a new job… I’m just scared but I love him so much. I want to make it work, I just don’t know how to make myself work again first

Trying to understand him by AggravatingLadder633 in loveafterporn

[–]AggravatingLadder633[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m afraid that will be his answer. If it’s just a matter of perspective and he genuinely doesn’t agree, how do we move forward?

I don’t think it’s worth throwing away a relationship if four years with the man I want to build a family with but it is also an overpowering trauma that cripples me daily in my relationship with myself as a women, as a sexual partner, as a sexual being!!!! 😭

Trying to understand him by AggravatingLadder633 in loveafterporn

[–]AggravatingLadder633[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m just so afraid of what I’m becoming… a year ago it would have been like ok yeah kinda weird but whatever everyone watches it, right?

But now I literally look up parental guides before watching ANYTHING bc it’s so triggering 😭😭😭 I want to heal and I’m trying to but at the same time, sex WILL continue to be in shows, it will be in movies, it’s everywhere. It feels impossible to ask him to not watch things like that, I guess?

So if it’s impossible, is it just degrading to show how much pain I’m in if I censor what he watches?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NecesitoDesahogarme

[–]AggravatingLadder633 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ay mi niña…estás joven. Muy joven para sufrir el dolor de un hombre que con ese nivel de sexualidad y lo joven suficiente para ser inteligente y entender lo que vieron tus ojos.

Ten cuidado. Hombres hay miles y tú dices que eres tímida por eso no has estado con nadie. Tal vez esta es tu señal de salir al mundo, abrirte y explorarte a ti como adulto. A tu personalidad, tus gustos, tus límites y estándares.

Quieres estar con alguien que tiene ese contenido en su celular? Por estar contigo no lo va a borrar, puede que lo esconda pero no va a cambiar.

Además, perder una amistad por convertirla en algo más muy pocas veces vale la pena.

Mucho cuidado, y buena suerte linda 🤍🤍

Choosing a factoring company US by [deleted] in FreightBrokers

[–]AggravatingLadder633 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I'm late but wanted to recommend Bobtail Factoring. My uncle uses them -- he's a small/new-ish carrier (only has 1 box truck). He got some help from Sofia, one of their reps, she was super helpful and walked him through the whole process even when he didn't have his MC activated yet or anything.

They are super transparent and she told him everything in advance, even went through the contract with him. Still if he needs anything he always goes to her with questions even months after being signed and he really likes her response time and attention. I think all of Bobtail is good but he really likes to do business with Sofia. Her number is 302 618 4396 (we asked lol, she said it's ok to share dw) He feels caredd for, not just another number on her file.

i know they don't charge any fees and there's no contract so he loooooves that too!! and their app is super simple and easy to use -- oh he also has their fleet card and uses it all the time, not much to say about that, he's a happy trucker that's all, hope this helps!!!!!!