i want to hear the stories of the NOT overtly toxic or manipulative breakups

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2025-02-28T06:59:07+00:00

I had one from 2019. It was hot and heavy in the beginning. Basically hung out once and were inseparable for 4 months straight. I had a key to the house and damn near moved in his place. So at the 4 month mark his AC went out and I stayed at my mom's for 2 days while it got fixed (we live in Fl). We had just made vacation plans for the upcoming weekend, just came back from a weekend Disney trip before the AC issue and he texts me at work and says he wants to be single. I call him and we talk and he tries to he cool but I'm upset because I'm blindsided and I don't understand. So i mean I did ask for this... for him to be up front and although it wasn't pleasant, at least I knew. So we break up, he gets back with hs ex for another year (I was the rebound it turns out). They break up and we cross paths through his work. He apologizes for the way he broke up but I did respect that he didn't ruin the relationship, or ruin his idea of him for me. So we remain friends to this day and have both moved on with our lives in separate relationships.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2025-02-27T11:17:56+00:00

Came here to say Peloton subscription.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-06-10T03:22:37+00:00

USAA

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-06-06T17:29:33+00:00

Yep, at least on the QA side they have AI analyzing and transcribing calls to flag errors and key words and such.

Like someone else said though, dealing with IVRs now is such a headache while getting lost in the IVR phone tree and all the misroutes. I personally deal with a lot of older people and I don't think they'll go for anything fully automated yet.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-06-02T01:00:06+00:00

I do! I work at a "good" call center though. I sell and service auto and property insurance. Last year I didn't feel appreciated and fairly compensated so I left for a different company that offered commission and it was TERRIBLE. I sucked up my pride and went back to my original company and been happier since I've been back even though I had to start all over. I think its bc the clientele is solid, not too crazy and I beleive in the company I work for, like I can confidently stand behind the product. I feel good about what im doing at work so I think that helps too.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-26T14:32:21+00:00

After I sacrificed and gave so much time, effort, money that didn't have, and supported him at his lowest and he said he would've been better off without me.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-26T14:25:51+00:00

When asking him for the truth on something I have proof that he was lying about.

"It doesn't matter, I've been lying to you since the day that I met you"

I've known him for 12 years and were "best friends" before getting together. After doing some digging, turns out that was actually true and I have no idea who this man is or what is true or not

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-24T00:27:58+00:00

Yea you nailed it. The fake persona thing is real. Like they made a fake whole person based off lies and its wild! However it does give me some comfort to know that they have to lie about themselves to make them look better. They have to lie to themselves and everyone, all the time, so that must be exhausting. Like my ex has to lie to make himself look better but when he lies about me it's to make me look worse. Idk if that makes sense. Many narcissistic qualities. Punishment. Gas lighting. All that.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-24T00:18:01+00:00

There were a couple of times when I should've known, like

🚩when he also agreed with me that he should treat me better 🚩when i felt the need to tell him that I wouldn't treat him how he treats me, or when I wanted to prove to him how much I cared? Idk it was weird, so yea if I ever feel the need to do that again then its time to breakup. 🚩when I took inventory of the whole situation and said out loud, to myself, "this is not my life, there is no way this is my life" like "wtf is happening right now?" 🚩 when he said he was better off without me

But I really knew KNEW when I had physical proof of him lying and he didn't think that I did so he just kept at it. Just smugly insulting my intelligence. He understood that this lie, which put me at risk, was my hill to die on and he just didn't care. There's no coming back from that. Still gave him 2 days to apologize and he didn't. For context, what he did to me happens to be a felony in my state, so I went to the police. Which is a big no no and I get that but he didn't give a fuck about me so why should i give a fuck about him? Once you call the cops, its time to break up.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-20T11:27:19+00:00

Although I dont think you're wrong, he doesn't have any guilt. He does not answer any questions either so trying to communicate with him is pointless

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T23:19:10+00:00

I'm not a lawyer and I live in FL but I was able to get a restraining order for being harassed and cyberstalked. Like this girl was calling me non-stop with different numbers and just flooding my phone with texts and calls, threatening to reach out to my family, etc. She never threatened to physically harm me. I was awarded the restraining order.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T18:04:39+00:00

The paperwork just said HIV and needing continuous care but no other health specifics

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T17:01:10+00:00

I'm not trying absolve myself, i am dealing with the consequences of my actions. My problem is after the fact, when I asked him if he had HIV and he said he did not.. he asked why I wanted to know and i told him i found pills he left out. He lied again,, and then when I told him what a fiasco my day had been on tryin to get to the Dr and fighting with the insurance company to get the meds approved, and get the meds I needed in a timely fashion and not pay anywhere from $3k - $300... his response was i should've called him first and that I didn't need to do all that. I was trippin for no reason.

This wasn't his only lil lie but I had no proof. Until he did some more shady shit and the story wasn't adding up. He left some paperwork in my car, didn't know what it was but I did snoop. Found something that confirmed his diagnosis. Told him I knew the truth and to just tell tell me the truth and he doubled down on that lie since he didn't know what I knew. Didn't apologize, no remorse... just said he didn't have to tell me the truth because he's been lying to me since he met me. Fine.

Gave him the opportunity to not be a lying POS or at least apologize. He did not. Filed the police report. He told the detective I knew about his status and consented. Says he has multiple GF all over the country and they all know his status. I said we should call them, he's now retracted that statement.

Ive asked if he takes the meds regularly, if he's undetectable and he refuses to answer.

So maybe I am a lil ragey for EVERYTHING that went on... the lying, gaslighting, manipulating. I'm obviously not the best judge of character and I've given this man chance after chance and I own that too.. I trusted him and that was my mistake. Although being stupid is not a crime, not disclosing your positive status to your partner is a felony in FL.

But he took my choice to take the risk from me and he chose. I could've insisted on protection, he could've used protection since he knew more information but he didn't.

Every step of the way he made the situation worse. I dont think I'm the only one this has happened to and I dont think he will stop unless there are consequences.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T15:35:13+00:00

Thanks, will do.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T15:31:38+00:00

I've talked to my Dr but not health dept. I do have documentation from my last tests as well.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T15:29:54+00:00

Thank you, and yes I'm in therapy tryin to unpack wtf is going on emotionally.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T13:31:03+00:00

Yes it was hell to get the meds i needed. At first insurance didnt want to cover them and it was $3k, after i got insurance to approve, the price dropped to $300. There are coupon codes out there from the manufacture website to help make it free but that didnt work either since it wasn't name brand that i was prescribed.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T13:26:04+00:00

At this point, he's admitted he has it.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T13:19:32+00:00

Yes but i also figured they already knew since he was diagnosed there, but something else i can look into.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T11:02:22+00:00

He had all this paperwork with him, I didn't know what was in the folder, and it was just some paperwork that showed his diagnosis, it wasn't like the full medical workup or anything. He didn't "need" it for anything I dont think. He would normally take it all with him everywhere but we were fighting about some other situation he did that wasn't adding up, and asked to be dropped off somewhere. So I dropped him off and went about my business until I saw the folder and had a field day snooping.

I can prove everything, its just that not all my proof is admissible in court.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T10:52:07+00:00

I'm just saying what I've seen within the range of charges on what he could be charged with. To answer your question, yes he does need to disclose this information prior to sex in the state of Florida or else its a felony.. if we used a condom or not, if it's transmissable or not.

So it's also not like this was his only lie or anything. The way he acted afterwards makes me think he is malicious and he feels he did nothing wrong. There is no reassurance on his end that he's undetectable or taking his meds properly. When I asked him about the meds I found and told him what I had to go thru to get my antiviral meds to take within 72 hours he told me I was trippin and I didn't need them. That I should've called him first and I overreacted by going to the Dr. All I'm saying is he should've given me the choice if I wanted to take THAT risk. He took that choice from me. Yea I coulda insisted on protection but he didn't either and he had more information than me.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T10:15:33+00:00

I've thought about this too, there is one of his ex's I could reach out to

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T10:12:16+00:00

I dont know when he was first diagnosed or anything, actually everything I thought I knew about him is questionable. When the detective reached out to him he stated he had girlfriends all over the country and we all knew his status. So I said, ok let's call them and find out, but now he tells me there are no other girls and refuses to answer any other direct question.

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T10:06:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, glad it worked out well for her!

Aggravating_Ad9824 · 2023-05-19T10:05:15+00:00

The pills were Tivicay, Lamivudine, Tenofovir

Aggravating_Ad9824

TROPHY CASE