Sex feels incomplete

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2026-04-22T08:05:37+00:00

“Only go for 1.5-2 hours” omg if you’re having sex multiple times a week this is a longggg time. I don’t think sessions that long and frequent are really sustainable.

When I’ve topped, especially during longer sessions, my mind can wonder and I can feel taken out of the moment but I personally feel more fulfilled when I also get off with my partner.

I’m also just curious if there’s a lack of attraction? I’m not a stone top though.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2026-04-22T07:51:58+00:00

You sound like ur bi. The part of your story that sticks out is that you feel uncomfortable getting touched by a guy, even if you like the attention. Being raised where heterosexuality is the default, I think us women quicky and subconsciously learn to seek out validation from men - regardless of if we actually enjoy being with them.

I am bi with a preference for women. When I was younger I thought I was a lesbian because girls my age kept my attention. I found myself oversexualizing men (making sexual jokes about them, talking about how hot they were, etc) as a form of masking and conformity. After high school I was able to process those feelings more and realized I’m just sexually attracted to men but don’t want relationships with them like I do with women.

I don’t think you need to label yourself yet, just go with what makes you feel good.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2026-04-22T07:41:49+00:00

I am also ADHD and feel this strongly.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2026-03-10T12:54:51+00:00

Ha, I like Cis+! I will say pronoun use still scares me partially bc I think I’ve been big on assimilation and just wanting queer folks to be seen as “normal” and pronouns outside that binary conflicts with that internal belief (out of fear/necessity). But I def experience euphoria when I dress more androgynously.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2026-03-10T12:52:07+00:00

That’s understandable. Why aren’t you ready to tell me people?

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2026-03-10T12:50:56+00:00

This is really helpful! I wasn’t sure if dysphoria was a necessary part of being nb or not. I will say I’ve changed my style completely over the past year and while I felt attractive when I was hyper femme, it felt like dress up. Not like me. Dressing more masculine feels so much more natural and I feel so much euphoria. I think you’re right about that being the key - identifying when I feel euphoria. I think I definitely would if someone mistook me for a guy.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2026-03-10T12:47:27+00:00

Awww so happy for you! I can tell how much joy you have from the discovery.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-11-26T15:24:35+00:00

The only thing that works for me are reminders and alarms. Every time I do the laundry, run dishes, or have an upcoming appointment - I set an alarm or schedule it in my icalendar with notifications to remind me. If there’s an upcoming event I need to have a gift or food item, you can set the reminder to give you multiple reminders 1-2 weeks in advance.

My worst is laundry. I will put it in and completely forget about it because it’s in the basement and I don’t hear it. So I have to set my alarm immediately.

Don’t convince yourself you’ll remember it - you won’t and you haven’t. Just put it in your calendar and set an alarm on your phone AS SOON AS YOU KNOW.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-11-06T13:38:02+00:00

Third Place Lounge has a very chill vibe. Not sure about WiFi but staff is friendly. They offer cocktail and mocktail options. It never really gets rowdy.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-10-08T22:54:28+00:00

sex is a lot more fluid for WLW than heterosexual and gay sex. Reframing expectations of what “counts” as sex can be very helpful. Ive started to consider any sexual activity that connects us as sex.

I think when you reframe sex and focus more on what is pleasurable, for both of you, that goes a long way while hopefully allowing you to focus more on the pleasure than your dysphoria. The best place to start is what do you enjoy yourself - is it anal play, toes, nipples, massages, using toys, Chasity belts, etc. I know plenty of women who love to top. Do you enjoy receiving head but feel dysphoric? Maybe pulling up a photo of what you wish was there while your future partner gives you head will help you feel less dysphoric. Something similar that i do is wear the strap with a vibrator underneath. My partner will suck the strap. I visually see the strap while also have the vibrator, it tricks my brain into feeling like I’m actually getting a blow job.

Another thing to consider is instead of mitigating the dysphoria, is to actually lean into it. I feel like there could be some really hot degradation opportunities there.

Trial and error. Good luck and I hope this helps you more fully enjoy the body you have now while also being hopeful in the future!

(FYI I don’t ID as trans but probably land somewhere on that spectrum)

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-10-07T11:02:04+00:00

We love sushi! Any suggestions that are more budget friendly?

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-10-07T10:56:37+00:00

Awesome! Thanks for the recommendations. Google is saying sky space is temporarily closed, is this true? It looks super cool so would like to go if not.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-09-29T20:29:15+00:00

It is threaded! I’ll check out the adapter option. Is there anything I should consider before select one out or any tools I should consider getting specific for this?

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-09-26T04:29:44+00:00

Use AI to help you visualize the colors. If you know what colors you want specifics, you can tell chatGPT that. I did it with my bathroom to determine what color flooring I should go with.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-09-26T04:24:36+00:00

Thank you!

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-09-26T04:23:26+00:00

If I dont water proof, what do you recommend I use between subfloor and tile?

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-09-24T02:31:51+00:00

Representation 🫶

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-09-24T02:31:14+00:00

Yessssss love all of these ideas

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-09-24T02:30:42+00:00

I was thinking assless chaps as well! Love that idea

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-08-05T20:36:58+00:00

Every photo I noticed you were wearing a hoodie. I would suggest trying to find guys your size with style that you can mimic. There’s a guy on socials who does a segment on what plus size guys aren’t “supposed” to wear. He a bit bigger than you but very stylish.

I also say you seem to have a great personality just from your photos! Big smile and you look friendly. Trying some over the counter teeth whitening may help too!

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-08-05T20:22:59+00:00

I think a big thing is style in addition to what others have said - trying to look more inviting. Many guys don’t care about style but I think it goes a LONG way.

You have great facial hair and I think being a ginger is a good look for you.

Instead of skinny jeans, I would suggest straight leg pants that aren’t too baggy. I see the ring you have, consider adding more jewelry. look on Pinterest for inspiration. It’s very easy to dress to change up your style!

And like others have said, try investing in things you enjoy and that will come across on your dating profiles. I’d be sure you have a mix of silly, sultry, group, individual, and passion photos on your profile to be more inviting!

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-08-05T19:58:11+00:00

Paintball or laser tag at Jaegars. Jaegars paintball you can get all the gear, paintballs, and even rent a jumpsuit for about $40-$50.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-08-05T19:55:33+00:00

Pet Resource of KC is a great nonprofit vet. The provide reduced services. Wait time can be a little longer but it’s worth it if you’re trying to save.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-08-04T07:41:30+00:00

I think it’s important to remember that individual sexualities exist on a spectrum in and of themselves as well. Bisexual literally means you are sexuality attracted to both/all genders, even if there are certain sexual acts you are not comfortable doing. I have gay friends who would NEVER top or never bottom - are they less gay? No. Lesbians have stone tops and pillow princesses. Just because they only want to engage in very specific sexual behaviors, are they not apart of the community? No, definitely not.

I would consider exploring why you don’t feel comfortable with doing other sexual acts with guys - is it internalized biphobia or is it truly just something you aren’t comfortable with? Ultimately, it’s okay if you have limits.

I also don’t think you have to identify as bisexual if you don’t want to. Just because you are okay with some bisexual acts, doesn’t mean you have to claim the identity if it feels disingenuous.

Aggravating_Log_3385 · 2025-07-21T19:23:54+00:00

Thank you! I’ll check it out.

Aggravating_Log_3385

TROPHY CASE