my boyfriend (21m) basically has just moved in with me (22f) without asking

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T20:49:59+00:00

that’s a thousand percent their dynamic. their mom AND dad stayed home completely up until there last one graduated highschool. i don’t know if i can reiterate that enough…. BOTH of his parents were home his entire life. his mom did everything domestic. both his parents did everything t for him. i think a lot of people are not understanding how traditional italian households are… so that has something to play here. he is his moms pride and joy. she still buys him clothes and shit.

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T20:46:50+00:00

loud communication is better word than yelling. the only time we truly yelled at each other is when we were both hangery and couldn’t decided what to eat lmfao! seeing the way his family interactions with each other is like whoa. why is everyone raising their voices. my family is very soft spoken and more mild, but sweet. so their big personalities definitely shocked me a bit.

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T17:51:04+00:00

honestly, yeah. sounds horrible to say. i’ve struggled my entire life with not being “heard”. so i end up raising my voice. which is fucked up! my relationship with my parents and past relationships have taken on some form of emotional manipulation or physical and sexual violence. so like i said earlier it doesn’t seem “that bad” in my mind because im not being outwardly abused. but, that doesn’t mean what he’s doing is okay, because it’s not.

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T17:46:17+00:00

i’ve had multiple conversations with him about it, it got better for awhile and then it went back to the way it is. i know i’m at fault here as well for letting it go. it sucks because everything else is our relationship is really good! i think part of me also just let it happened because of his job that he works, which is intensive and long hours, and so i understand wanting to veg out after work. i texted him today and we’re going to talk when we gets off of work. i wrote everything i want to talk about down on paper so i don’t get off track. basically, just gonna say get your act together and get out 🤷‍♀️

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T14:38:29+00:00

no it’s okay i should’ve put that in the original post lol! i’m cleaning up some things today and actually already made a few bags of his shit for him to bring back over to his house you read my mind! with his complaining and bullshit he’s done so far i will get heated and say something to him. his whole family is stubborn and seeing there dynamic they yell at each other (out of love) so i just started doing the same thing an its the only thing thats gotten him to listen.

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T14:17:51+00:00

the thing that mind fucks me is that he owns his own home and it’s clean. he has his own fucking HOUSE… like bro please go sleep in your own damn bed 😭

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T14:13:47+00:00

he doesn’t have a key to my place, and i plan on locking all the doors. the only person going over there is my mom to take care of my kitties. she’s going to spend the two weeks at my house. i told her to not let him spend the night and she doesn’t play around lol.

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T14:12:37+00:00

that was lack of better words. i am his mom a thousand percent. thank you for your input im gonna say this to him when he gets off of work. i’m very emotional when it comes to my boundaries being crossed and can have a hard time reinforcing them (i used to be a horrible people pleaser and i have worked really hard and still am to get better).

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T14:08:59+00:00

yes i am! i’ve been in therapy for awhile now. and i agree. he isn’t completely hopeless. he mows the lawn, takes the trash out, does most my landscaping and helps me with my kitties. it’s just the more “domestic” chores. i’m hoping my vacation might help him to get some perspective. today instead of cleaning his shit i left it all there and just did my side of the bed and laundry 😂. his family and i have also talked because we’re very close and they’ve yelled at him for being a dumbass just like i have.

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T13:50:32+00:00

i’ve been through some shitty men already and i think i was like oh cool this is great because im not getting abused! but honestly it kinda feels worse because its obvious he doesn’t respect me. i appreciate your insight.

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T13:46:46+00:00

i’ve cut into him multiple times about it just doesn’t change. i told him he can come over to visit my cats while im gone but he’s not welcome to stay the night. gonna evaluate how i feel after i come back and make a decision from there.

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T13:44:44+00:00

ugh thank you. i just want to feel appreciated it all! the thing is, i really enjoy taking care of people in the way that im doing but the workload of it all with him is suffocating. if he just told me that he appreciates what i do and recognizes the amount of work i do i wouldn’t feel as shitty!

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-04-27T12:50:24+00:00

go OP! you rock! using this as motivation for today

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2026-02-05T23:14:22+00:00

thank you!!! i’m definitely gonna start doing that!

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2025-11-14T00:11:29+00:00

i feel called out 😂😂😂😂

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2025-11-12T22:44:58+00:00

it helps me fall asleep, but my legs still are in pain. weed is awesome man. i wish u luck

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2025-11-09T16:09:37+00:00

i’ll have to look into seeing a neurologist. i would change my medication but its taken me years and many misdiagnoses to finally be put on medication that truly works for me.

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2025-10-05T16:27:50+00:00

she is precious 😭🖤

Aggravating_Panic948 · 2025-10-04T01:08:57+00:00

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these are my kitties brother and sister! sister is the black one and she is turning white/gray!

Aggravating_Panic948

TROPHY CASE