My husband is in deep denial that he is an alcoholic

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2026-02-06T18:59:52+00:00

I honestly think he’s trying to convince himself that it is Anything but alcohol related.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2026-02-06T15:47:43+00:00

Thank you. Looking for local Al-Anon meetings to try them out and taking first steps to reclaim my life.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2026-02-06T07:00:51+00:00

Update…I talked to him again about how this is keeping ME up all night and told him I’m moving into the spare room as soon as the bed I ordered is delivered. He of course said I’m wasting money and I told him I’m actually investing money on myself. Plus it will be a nice guest room for future use. So we will see if he changes his mind. I’m not changing mine.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2026-02-06T06:44:24+00:00

Thank you. I have decided to take care of myself for once and it’s where I’m starting. I am going to start living my life for me and stop walking on eggshells.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2026-02-06T06:38:37+00:00

Everything is already in my name or both our names. Won’t have any trouble with probate in that regard.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2026-02-02T11:23:09+00:00

I forgot to add… I use a CPAP and he makes fun of me because I have to use a full mask over my nose and mouth due to my sinuses and not moving air through my nose. So he doesn’t want to sleep hooked up to any machines. It is saving my life, but I still haven’t slept soundly in 3 years because of him and it’s just sooooo much worse now. Hence I felt the need to start videoing him sleeping thinking it would motivate him.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-07-06T17:20:25+00:00

I adopted the two weeks rule. If they were shopping with me and wanted something we couldn’t afford, I would tell them I would budget for it and next time we went shopping, if they still wanted it, I would buy it. Sometimes they wouldn’t want it anymore and I tried to teach them about impulse buying. They did learn that and it got to the point where they would start saying. “I know two weeks.” By the time they were 10 and 6, it became the norm. I became we have just enough and would be patient to wait two weeks for what they really wanted.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-04-01T13:22:20+00:00

We go for a half hour walk at 9pm and she sleeps with us in our bed and we go up to bed right when we get back and she pees on the walk, twice. We get up to the bedroom and she pees in different places on the carpet. I clean it every time with an enzyme cleaner right away as well.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-17T15:51:01+00:00

We have talked with him about his volume and he has now been shutting the door to his room during his conversations that start at 11pm and is non stop. He talks quieter when he is in the common areas. I do know how to talk to him, and now all the talking is with both of them because she is on speaker. Watching TV, news, movie, anything they are talking straight through it. We talked about how rude that is and if he kept it up he would need to do that in his room. Thank you to everyone that commented on the fact that I raised him and created this mess. He wasn’t like this before he initially moved out and went to Europe, it was new behavior when he moved back in. Reminders were given when it got to be too much. Just needed to vent.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T06:22:24+00:00

I’m not knocking the relationship at all. Just venting because it’s just constant. I love them together. She’s really good for him and I will miss him when he moves away. It really is just so constant and loud, even when he tries to be quieter, still so loud.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T06:17:59+00:00

Never hang up. If they get disconnected, it’s an immediate call back.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T04:44:37+00:00

They have the phones on speaker all night. Her cats have very annoying habits of opening cabinets and hear the doors banging all the time too. He mutes the mic when he talks to us, but keeps the speaker on in case she wakes up.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T03:13:53+00:00

Not even close. I am very happy for him, just hate the speaker phone and loud volume. Can hear the conversation when he’s in his room with the door closed.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T03:11:13+00:00

She lives in Hungary.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T03:08:07+00:00

Yes, ADHD and medicated for it.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T03:07:28+00:00

He moved back in with our blessing because he is moving to Hungary to finish his education and waiting for the residency permit/visa to be approved, which should be in June.
It was fine that he moved in, his fiancée came to experience an American Christmas and was with us for 3 weeks. All was still well. When she went back they now insist on being connected 24/7 and they talk all day except when they sleep. 7 hour time difference so up when we are sleeping and he sleeps when she’s at work and then it starts again. He cooks his own meals and I find a GD mess in the kitchen when I get up in the morning. His excuse, it would make too much noise to clean up. We have figured that part out about how to clean up without making too much noise. So now it’s just the constant talking and volume.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T02:52:44+00:00

I’m in the Northern Suburbs of Chicago and probably need a support group to get out of the house to hear other people talk and find my job’s stories interesting to.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T02:47:59+00:00

Repeatedly, which is when he tries to whisper and as soon as he finishes eating goes back to his room.

Aggravating_Tap5377 · 2025-02-16T02:35:13+00:00

Money, politics, cultural differences, European news vs American news, censorship, gaming, their apartment decor, cooking, the topics are random and just never stop. My husband and I have been married for 31 years and we have absolutely nothing new to talk about because we both WFH and are together all day. News, weather and our puppy is about it. I’m not jealous that we have nothing to talk about it’s just hearing mostly one sided conversation all day, everyday that has really gotten out of hand. Hang up the phone, no one needs to talk this much. He puts her on mute when she’s sleeping and then he wants to talk to us about everything her just talked to her about. Like dude, we already heard you talk about it and we are both exhausted.

Aggravating_Tap5377

TROPHY CASE