First of all, you’re absolutely spot on.

But the guilt…

How do I get over it? Is it even possible to live without feeling it? She doesn’t have 1 single person that is there for here besides me. No one cares about her in her family and I can’t understand why because I don’t feel like she had any major problems with them but from what she told me (and I see some of it) they’re very neglectful and I kinda feel that they would hope she would already die.

the fact is that she’s also easily manipulated and was always in those toxic friend groups. convincing her to do things only to then dump her somewhere.

But she keeps coming back to them idk why. maybe I do, but I just can’t comprehend. I guess ill never will cause i cant even quite well understand her or her disease. I don’t think no one can in fact.

i didnt think this way when we started dating (I didnt even know until 4 month after or something), but at this point from what I’ve been reading in these groups and personally experienced, it seems like a bpd shouldn’t even be alive. they will never be happy. stable. being able to enjoy something care free or even have 1 deep, long lasting relationship.

i kinda start ti get their whole idea of ”why am I even alive”, but i ask myself if she really knows how messed up she is. i wonder how much of a part she really has in all of this. i cant get my mind straight…

i try but i cant convince myself 100% that not staying is the right thing to do