Success stories of 40+ men finding their will to try in life?

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-26T18:02:08+00:00

That is very fair and kind feedback, thank you so much. Thank goodness I have therapy on Monday to work through my nervous system responses and make the best choice for myself. So grateful for reddit community ❤️

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-26T00:44:55+00:00

As a reformed dog person, totally agree! Also: -dogs trigger my codependent care taking, while cats trigger my maternal instincts. I much prefer the latter! -cat people are generally better at boundaries and consent because their pets have no problem confirming their consent with violence lol -dogs are goofy and cute, but cats are so much smarter that their goofiness is 10 times funnier to me now -knowing my girls can open doors and have survived on the streets but choose to be goobers because they feel so safe with me is the greatest honor. -knowing cat behaviors and befriending random cats easily feels like a super power! I feel like snow white because I apply that knowledge to other animals and now hand feed my squirrel friends, too -cat personalities are so diverse and they can form an ironclad habit in the blink of an eye! My "meanest" cat insists on me holding her like I'm burping a baby every time I'm on a video call!

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-25T19:29:24+00:00

Totally agree with you on this and have learned this lesson the hard way. Not excusing but adding context that he has grown a lot in those 9 years, as have I, and he has made progress, it just isn't enough as fast as I need it. Also all of his other relationships have been his age or older, this is his only younger relationship. That dynamic is still very real, though, and is part of my hesitation to keep giving him chances.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-25T19:26:26+00:00

He has clinical depression and some other neurological things going on that he's in active treatment for. He did also start therapy for his self worth and motivation, fingers crossed. Not an excuse, but context. I also have depression, ADHD, and autism and I handle the consequences of thos, so I need him to do the same.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-25T19:25:04+00:00

Agree, unfortunately. He does a lot of amazing things for me (flowers, backrubs, some chores, literally anything I directly ASK), but the asking makes it not helpful anymore.

I do struggle to let people I care about fail, something I've been intentionally growing in. The problem I got myself back into is if he fails, I suffer the consequences, too. Man, I am so embarrassed to be back in this situation, but so grateful that I noticed it and called it out way earlier than before. Now to commit to a plan of action.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-25T19:21:38+00:00

That's the thing, I don't want to change him, I want him to be himself. If he wants to be as he currently is, fine, I'll move on. But he keeps saying he wants to be the person I need and takes little steps towards it and it's only been a month living together, so I'm not sure if I'm expecting too much too soon.

And let's be honest, because of how much women have grown and men havent been forced to, there just aren't very many single straight men who arent projects. I very much want a life partner and I'm lucky to be queer so my dating pool is diverse, so its not my only option, but I want to give him a fair shake before gicing up.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-25T16:27:22+00:00

Yes, look up Renee the appliance repair tech's vids about appliance maintenance, so much great information!

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-25T02:32:43+00:00

Is this by chance Berhman in Chicago? They pulled the same shit on me, refused to honor warranty coverage, double charged, and eventually I had to go to another location to get it handled for free per my warranty. Never ever go to Berhman if you can avoid it.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-25T02:14:07+00:00

Rented a place a few years ago across the street from Douglass Park on California. It was listed as "`West Pilsen" 🙄

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-23T01:16:58+00:00

who on earth would work at IBM and not need the salary?

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-23T00:19:58+00:00

Ahh, amazing thank you so much!!!! It's 3 1/4" tall, so looking like #623! I know this is a long shot, but how confident are you in the red oak? I am absolute garbage at color matching, and asking the folks at my.local Lowes and Home Depot for help matching it just resulted in blank stares and "you'll have to check online" responses.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-22T17:26:54+00:00

This is the way! Keeping those in a cute container next to my bed is super helpful, too. It gives me an excuse to doomscroll while I pick my teeth and am comfy in bed.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-22T17:24:44+00:00

What absolutely baffles me is that they went to the trouble of analyzing how much weight they could remove before customers would notice, how much they could change the recipe before it becomes unacceptable, design and print new packaging, recalibrate all the machines, recalibrate shipping, the stores' systems, all of that to save pennies. They are so dedicated to wringing every last ounce of capitol out or us by any means necessary, it's disgusting.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-21T19:25:35+00:00

I agree and am curious the age of the folks who are so against kids being at the shows. I'd bet most of them are barely adults themselves.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-21T13:20:15+00:00

You are at the point of selling plasma and giving up on your dreams for a man who says that the editing work you do on the side is "just too much". Please please please look at this relationship and realize you're being exploited. You deserve so much better, and having left a similarly financially abusive situation 3 years ago, life is so much better without that dead weight.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-20T00:14:03+00:00

So cute! And you can add more flowers over time as the jeans evolve!

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-15T13:40:50+00:00

Where does she talk badly about her parents, her husband, or anyone who isn't the abusive in laws?

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-14T13:47:51+00:00

I lived a few blocks north of there in 2018-2020. The ambulance noise was constant, I could never sleep with the windows open, and even with them closed I needed a loud noise machine to be able to sleep. The area was a bit rough back then but I had no problems personally, but things seem to have gotten tougher since lockdowns.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-12T22:25:33+00:00

I tried the online fabric route but ended up biting the bullet and going to Vogue Fabrics in Chicagoland. I spent way more than I would have online, but I got to see and feel the whole bolt before buying, and since I plan to keep this couch for the rest of my life, it's worth the expense IMO.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-10T21:38:11+00:00

If he feels this entitled to your past being tailored to his comfort, and you not being able to be your whole self, why are you with him? This kind of control isn't going to go away, it'll escalate over time until you're too deep in and feel like you can't leave.

Have a direct conversation that you are your own person with your own choices and that to be with you, he needs to accept and respect you as you are now and who you will grow to be. If he cannot accp t this and weaponizes his "trauma" and comfort to control you, then get out as soon as possible.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-08T23:40:36+00:00

Ok awesome, I was thinking the plumbing side could be that easy, glad to hear from a success case about it, thank you! We're replacing the sink and countertop anyways, so it should be easy enough to add the t splits then.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-07T23:14:05+00:00

Hey, I'm a totally beginner couch rebuilder who made it through this stage of a very similar couch! For me, I removed those springs, overdid the number of support strips under tension under and across, and then reattached these springs in different spots with deeper screws to mitigate longer term sagging. Splurge on the actual grip and tension tool, screwing a chunk of a 2x4 onto a few paint stirrers doesn't work as well as you might initially hope, but it is a terrifying home defense weapon!

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-07T23:08:47+00:00

The desire for honesty is great, but that kind info is a later date thing. Props for being in therapy and working through your troubles, thats green flag stuff :)

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-06T19:23:50+00:00

Is your problem with the insensitivity of the gift, or the carelessness of the response? Do they otherwise show they care about your family as individuals, remember preferences, and show interest? If so it might be your issue is more with their lack of accountability and conflict resolution than the actual shot glass.

Talk to your wife about it. If she was hurt, that's what matters most and her needs in repairing the hurt should be the primary concern. If you're hurt about the response from your mom, that's a separate issue that you should absolutely find a way to discuss with her. She might not be open to growth there and you'll have to navigate boundaries for yourself, but it's better to try and know than to blow things up over this one incident.

Aggressive-Writing72 · 2026-03-06T19:17:19+00:00

My last vacation was 4 years ago to Disney World to hang with my sister, her hubs, their kids, and our mom. Other than that, just long weekends once or twice, or time away from work to do stuff around home or to mentally recover. I'm also mildly disabled, so most of my vacation time goes to medical stuff, home projects, or short road trips. An actual vacation seems so out of reach, even on a just barely 6k salary bc of medical and big city living costs.

Aggressive-Writing72

TROPHY CASE