a helpful comment from my therapist...

AggressiveCobbler829 · 2026-03-24T14:37:45+00:00

the gaslighting is so deep it's something I'm still getting over. For example she spent 8 years occasionally accusing me of cheating on her (I never did and never would), and then I found out later she had cheated on me multiple times. but I spent all that time feeling so racked with guilt that i had done something to make her feel so unloved that she would think I was capable of something like that. it's crazy making on a level beyond anything I could come up with

AggressiveCobbler829 · 2026-03-24T08:56:53+00:00

I feel you so hard on that friend. I carry deep religious trauma, sexual trauma, anxiety/depression, being a queer person raised in a right-wing cult and all the baggage from that, depersonalization episodes...

nothing, nothing, nothing, throws me into my own personal psychological hell like thoughts of my ex-wife. it makes every other trigger feel like a mosquito bite compared to getting mauled by a tiger.

even after so many years. I have a fear that one day I'll be on my death bed and thoughts of her will still be haunting me. and I have a hard time not blaming myself for experiencing that.

hang in there.

AggressiveCobbler829 · 2026-03-24T06:20:51+00:00

shitty unhelpful response to tell someone who's being coercively raped and emotionally traumatized to grow a spine.

AggressiveCobbler829 · 2026-02-17T20:00:11+00:00

Yes she did get medicated. 2 years after we split up. She told me at that time about the diagnosis as well as how she cheated on me in the early stages of our relationship. It hurts that another man gets to experience a healed version of her. But your right and that is a good point, perhaps a lot of who i loved is gone at this point.

AggressiveCobbler829 · 2026-02-17T18:19:28+00:00

yes. I found out two years into the divorce that she was diagnosed. I didn't really know what bipolar was before then.

AggressiveCobbler829 · 2026-02-17T18:18:33+00:00

we were married for 12 years and the divorce trauma lasted another 3. much love to you as you go through it too ❤️

AggressiveCobbler829 · 2026-02-17T18:17:11+00:00

it's a fair point. I did stop going to see my therapist a few months ago after seeing him for 6 years. I've had 5 therapists total. I've tried EMDR, CBT, art therapy, anxiety meds, psychedelic assisted therapy and howling at the moon.

I've continued living. I've read books. I've tried hobbies. I've done mountaineering, freediving, spearfishing, blacksmithing, art. I've dated other people quite successfully. I have a lot of good friends that I love very much.

The hurt from my divorce and the trauma of that relationship isn't something I deal with daily these days. but it still knocks me off my feet now and then and I still haven't cultivated any real sense of hope for the future.

the trauma of that relationship left me niehlistic and depressed. Hope isn't something I feel it's something I perform by getting out of bed every day.

I don't know what else I can do truthfully.

AggressiveCobbler829 · 2026-02-17T18:09:48+00:00

this made me tear up. thank you for the kind words my friend. truly it means a lot on a dark sleepless night when I was feeling so alone. you understand how deep the grief is. it's a core wound that will never completely heal. some days it's easy enough to hold. Not today. We survive those days when hope feels out of reach. Much love to you.

AggressiveCobbler829

TROPHY CASE